Subject: What Our Children Teach
From: <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 19 Mar 2006 08:49:20 +1100

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Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 	Go to our website Here
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*	Welcome Warwick
*	Grandads
*	Laughter
*	Single Dads
*	All you need is Love
*	Thought of the Week
*	Putting Our Children First
*	News & Info
*	Dad's Prayer
*	About Us

Welcome Warwick

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Sometimes, for me, books become my best friends.  I am a very
inquisitive soul at the best of times.  I love reading and I also
strongly identify with Scrooge McDuck and all his Scottish ancestry.
Maybe it's because I can still remember my Scottish grandmother saying
things like, "Waste not, want not", or "Look after the pennies and the
pounds will look after themselves."  For all those Generation X's, my
grandmother was not talking about a weight loss program.  Maybe it's all
that influence that makes it hard for me to go past a discount book
table in the shopping centre.

While lingering at such a table one day, I picked up a book called
'Believing it All - What My Children Taught Me About Life' by Marc
Parent © 2001 Piatkus publishers www.piatkus.co.uk
<http://www.piatkus.co.uk/>   The title won me and the price of $5.00
appealed to my Scrooge McDuck mentality.  Maybe it was the liner notes
that pushed me over the edge.  Marc writes: 

"I never thought I would have to crouch down for the lessons.  I never
thought the greatest teacher I could ever hope to discover was a child.'

With the outdoors as their classroom, full-time father Marc Parent finds
that parenting is just as much about learning as teaching.  Writing with
humour, wisdom and honesty, he brings our own half-forgotten childhoods
sharply back into focus with his vivid accounts of two small boys
discovering the world,

In the course of ordinary life, Marc Parent uncovers extraordinary
truths, of the blind self-acceptance of children, the awesome
responsibility of parenthood, children's capacity for love, wonder and
also cruelty and their unerring ability 'to uncover not what you know,
but what you believe'.

Marc relates the simplest of stories, revealing the way children think.
For those of us whose children are older and more worldly-wise, it is a
refreshing book to read.  Many of our readers have young children and
will relate no doubt to Marc's real life tales.

One such story involves Marc going for a walk with his children one day.
They come across a dead squirrel in the middle of the road.

"Casey," I say, "that squirrel is dead."

But why is he dead? . . . Why, Dad? Casey asks.

Maybe a car hit him . . . Or he might've fallen out of a tree," I say.
Casey looks to the branches above us, squinting against the sun.  With
my hand I pantomime a squirrel slipping and falling to the road.  Casey
returns his gaze to the squirrel.

"I want to look at it," he says, and I know what this means. I lift him
out of the stroller so he can crouch down close to it.  With his chin at
his knees, he slowly tips his head from side to side.  I hear him
breathing through his nostrils.  Then he straightens his neck to look up
the road, thinking.  He stands.  This could be the end of it.  But then
he drops the big one.

"Daddy, what is dead mean?" . . .

. . . My mind races through possible approaches.  Whatever I decide to
say will be gospel, it will be The Way It Is, until he archives
everything I've ever told him to form his own view of the world - every
generation trying to reach a little higher than the last. I give it a
try and, for the first time, the sound of my voice is that of a real
father's.

"Casey . . .the squirrel's body is here for us to look at, but the thing
that made that squirrel jump and run, the thing that made his tail
flicker up and down and wiggle back and forth. . .  that isn't there any
more.  Because he's dead." 

Lovework

Write down some of the things your children have taught you.  Can you
remember any?  It will probably take you a life time to do so.
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> 

Most of all make sure you thank them today for teaching you and sharing
their life with you.  Where would you be without them?

Yours for ever-learning

Warwick Marsh

PS. We encourage you to check out our section: Putting Our Children
First.  One of our readers pointed out to me recently that there seems
to be a lot of information lately in our newsletter about what single
dads go through at the hands of the system. The insinuation was. 'What
about the single mums.  Don't they do it tough?'  The answer is yes, a
lot of mums go through hell and high water at the hands of irresponsible
men.  I know of at least one mum who killed herself because of how the
system shut her out of her children's lives.  The bottom line is that
divorce and family breakdown is a terrible thing for all concerned but
gender-wise, in the majority of cases fathers are shut out of their
children's lives by our hideous family law system. Men are nailed to the
wall by a system that is diabolical for all concerned.  We can improve
it if we put our children first.  Shared parenting is the best of the
worst.

The vote for the flawed Family Law Reform proposals will take place on
27-28 March 2006.  The fatherless children of Australia would greatly
appreciate your help at this time.  Help them by going to the section:
Putting Your children First. 

________________________________________ 

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is 
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in 
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician, 
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he 
can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 
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On the Road to Fatherhood and Eternity

By Arthur Olsen

I started my working life as an apprentice jockey at the age of
fourteen, but due to increasing weight had to relinquish my chosen
profession when my apprenticeship ended.  A stint working at a goldmine
came to an end in 1939 when war was declared and Australia decided to
participate.  Several of us young men working at the mine decided to
enlist in the AIF (Australian Infantry F).  Shortly after enlisting I
sailed overseas.

From May 1940 to August 1945, when I was discharged, I had served in
Europe, the Middle East and the Pacific Zones.  Thanks to the Federal
Government of the time, returned servicemen were given the chance at
rehabilitation.  I decided to take the opportunity to train as an
Industrial Painter.

Shortly after my discharge from the Army, thanks be to God, I met a
lovely young woman named Anne Pyle.  After a short courtship we decided
to get married.

With the small amount of deferred Army pay I received on discharge I
decided to purchase some land in a suburb of Perth and with the help of
some excellent friends built a temporary dwelling.

In December 1947 our fist child arrived and was welcomed with much joy.
In the ensuing six years Anne had given birth to five children. Prior to
this I had realised that we would need a larger house, and again with
the help of some great friends, we proceeded to construct a larger
dwelling.

At the time I was working hard in the building trade and spending my
weekends working on our new home which we eventually moved into by the
time our sixth child was born.  By 1968 Anne had given birth to sixteen
children, eight sons and eight daughters. I must say that there was
always much happiness and joy among the siblings when their mother
arrived home with a new baby.

Unfortunately this did not happen when sadly Joseph our 15th child died
shortly after birth.  We had already been given a cross to carry when
our eldest son, Trevor, was found to have an intellectual disability.
Also in June of 1977 our daughter Janice was killed in a motorcycle
accident at the age of 21.

Things didn't always run smoothly in our marriage, but whenever Anne and
I had an argument, a kiss-and-make-up cured all ills.  May that's why we
had so many children.

I love my wife dearly and with the grace and providence of God we
survived, plus lots of give and take and a strong faith that my dear
wife is endowed with.

Over the years some nasty people used to say some horrible things to us
such as: "Haven't you heard of the Pill?" and, "How are you going to
educate them all?" etc. etc.

But with God's help we did get all our children educated at private
schools and paid their school fees.

Life move on and now in 2006 we have forty-two grandchildren: 22
granddaughters and 20 grandsons, 3 great-granddaughters and 3
great-grandsons.  Again things haven't always gone smoothly.  At 25
years of age our eldest grandson Michael died of cancer and three months
later his second son Joshua died in a house fire.  Our daughter Helen's
husband also died of cancer.

Anne and I are now in our waning years, but peace and love prevail in
our life because of the comfort and love we are given by our large
family.  Thanks be to God! May heaven await us!

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Laughter

 

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A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway
when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. 

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands
him another handful of peanuts.   

She repeats this gesture about five more times. 
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old
lady, 

" Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?". 

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied. 

The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"
The old lady replied,   

"We just love the chocolate around them 

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Single Dads

 

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A Call for Equal Parenting Time

The Lone Fathers Association Australia Inc., the national Peak Body for
separated fathers and their children, considers that the title of the
Shared Parental Responsibility Bill 2005 should be altered to the 'Equal
Parenting Time Bill 2006'.

The starting point for this Bill should be a recognition that it is a
natural and paramount right of children affected by marriage and
relationship breakdowns to be able to spend equal parenting time with
both parents

Barry Williams, National President, Founder, and Spokesperson, and
long-time advocate for equality in family law, said it is of the utmost
importance that the words should be entrenched in law, and read as
meaning that in separated and divorced families the children have a
paramount right to equal parenting time with both parents, and that both
parents have a paramount right to equal parenting time with their
children.

For too long now, we have witnessed children being prevented from
exercising these natural rights - which is an infringement on their
rights as spelt out in the UN charter of the rights of the child.  Every
day in our courts and on the say-so of one parent these rights are
denied to the children.  This immediately places the courts and the
parent in conflict with the rights of the child.

Mr Williams stated that of course there are cases where equal parenting
time would not be appropriate, especially where one parent has been
proven in a court of law to be a danger to the child, but outcomes
should not be determined by mere allegations or by the spite of one
parent, as frequently happens now. 

Australia is not backward in preaching human rights and civil liberties
to other countries, yet these human rights and civil liberties are
broken every day in Australia discriminating against our children when
equal parenting time is not given.

 
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ldren.jpg> Parents separate and divorce each other, but children don't
divorce either parent.  Sadly though, in hundreds of thousands of cases
one parent tries to use the children to her or his advantage against the
other parent.  Statistics show that 1,000,000 children in this country
very seldom see their dad, and some never see their dad at all.  Court
orders are made but are not enforced, by a system which is outdated and
biased, and where those charged with administrating the law do not do
their job.  If they were doing their job and applying the penalties for
denial of access, the above figure would be much less and there would be
hundreds of thousands more happy children.

Mr Williams also stated the family relationship centres, when
established, must be told they have to start at a consideration of an
equal parenting time even where only one parent requests it.

.

LFAA believes that all organisations and counsellors should declare in
writing that they are in favour of working towards equal parenting time
before they are chosen to run these services.  Those who can't give this
commitment should not be chosen.

Mr Williams also stated that the courts when making orders affecting the
care of children must start at equal parenting time. When this does not
take place the court must disclose its reasons for not doing so, and
these reasons must be given to both parents and made available in
journals that are available and can be monitored.  

There must be a special independent parliamentary committee to look at
the progress of equal parenting time one year after commencement of the
Family Relationship Centres.  This committee's task would be to examine
the attitudes of both the relationship centres and the courts towards
awarding equal parenting time.  This can be easily done by examining
evidence showing how many separating or divorced parents applied for
equal parenting time and how many were awarded it.

Mr Williams said the bill is heading in the right direction, but lacks
the necessary moral courage to tackle the injustice and inequality which
characterises the current family law system  

Barry Williams BEM, JP,CMC

National President

Lone Fathers Association Australia Inc

www.lonefathers.com.au <http://www.lonefathers.com.au/>  

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All you need is Love

  

.

Committed to the Family
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By Craig Bennett

I want to share with you something I did that helps me remain committed
to my family. I have been married to my wife for around 8 ½ years and at
the time worked on a dairy farm. I married into an instant family, of 3
step children and now have another 2 of my own. 

Shortly after my return to work, from our honey moon, I was standing at
the farm gate, thinking about my family, my marriage, and the fact that
the ring on my finger hurt like 'billy- oh' as it was the first time I
had worn jewellery of any description. I thought of how easy it had been
for my wife's first husband to walk out on her some 7 years previously,
leaving her with 3 children the youngest only 8 weeks old, and decided
that I would commit myself to my family no matter what.

I laid my hand on the strainer post, and looked up to the sky, and said
God, while I made vows in church, I am remaking them here between you
and me, with this post as a witness, that I will stay committed to my
family no matter what.

I can say that over the last 8 years we have had our moments, and yes
there have been times of temptation to look at other women, but that
memory of the post remained and remains full on in my mind. Now I am in
the process of landscaping the front of my house, driveways, fences etc,
and intend to put a post and rail fence out the front.

So far I have put a strainer post out the front, and that is it. Yet
every time I come home, every time I leave the house, I see that post in
my front yard and it reminds my of my commitment to my family.

Sometimes I think this newsletter can get a little lopsided with stories
of men trying to get access to their children, and indeed I believe they
should, and that reforms are truly necessary. Yet I wonder if all this
stress and worry could have been alleviated if solid commitment had been
made before the marriage and kept during the marriage. 

A friend of mine whose marriage fell apart said to me, 'But it was only
a little affair'. Friends let me say this: there is no such thing as a
'little affair', and the repercussions of it are enormous.

What can you implement in your life to help remind you of your
commitment to your family? For me, it is a post, for you, you might make
it your ring, or plant a tree in your yard, perhaps a pot plant  that is
yours to look after and as you look after it and nourish it, it will
remind you or your role to look after and nourish your family. Perhaps
you can think of others things you can do, that are a personal reminder
to you, as both a husband and a father. 

Craig Bennett has been married for 8 years and has 5 children, three of
whom are stepchildren. He has recently established a ministry called:
Men Being Real.  To subscribe to this go to:
[email-masked]
<mailto:[email-masked]>   

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Michael Kiely's book 'Man Overboard' is still available and will give
you keys to win the battle of love and save your marriage from
destruction. To get your free copy simply send your request with a copy
of the first page of your fathersonline (which contains your first name
and email address), to Michael Kiely: [email-masked]
<mailto:[email-masked]>    with 'Free copy of Man Overboard'
written in the subject line. Make sure you give Michael some feedback on
his kindness in giving you a copy, free of charge.

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Thought of the Week

 
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ghtning.gif> 

Some parents bring up their children 
on thunder and lightening,

But thunder and lightening never yet 
made anything grow.

Anon

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Putting Our Children First

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Putting Our Children First

Part Two

The main focus of the Fatherhood Foundation is as a Harm Prevention
Charity. Our goal is to help men and women to stay married. The best way
to prevent divorce is to help people work out their relationship
problems. Our vision is to help Australian dads become the best fathers
in the world. However it is very hard to be the best father in the world
if the Family Law Court system won't even let you see your child. The
anomalies are even greater if you have orders allowing you to see your
child because they will probably never be enforced. This is often the
plight that befalls single fathers. In reality it is often worse than
this for many single fathers. They are often forced to pay onerous child
support payments that may leave them financially crippled, for children
that they can never see. 

It is a combination of all these factors, including the trauma of
divorce that forces many of these fathers to take their own lives. The
unfortunate response by many of their fellow Australians is to say the
same words as spoken by Cain, 'I am not my brother's keeper'! Jesus had
a different perspective on this issue and so should we.

'One day when Jesus was teaching about the importance of loving our
neighbour, a certain lawyer said, "Who is my neighbour?" (Sound
familiar? Lawyers are good at trying to shift responsibility) Jesus told
the following story, "A certain man was going down from Jerusalem to
Jericho and he fell among thieves. They stripped him of his clothes and
money and beat him up and left him lying half dead beside the road. By
chance a priest came along; and when he saw the man lying there, he
crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. A lawyer did
the same thing; he too left him lying there. But a despised Samaritan
came along, and when he saw him, he felt deep pity.

Kneeling beside him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with medicine and
bandaged them. The he put the man on his donkey and walked along beside
him till they came to an inn, where he nursed him through the night. And
the next day he handed the innkeeper eight $50 notes and told him to
take care of the man. "If the bill runs higher than that," he said,
"I'll pay the difference the next time I am here."

Then Jesus asked the lawyer which of these three was a neighbour to the
victim who fell among thieves. The lawyer replied, "The one who helped
him." Then Jesus said, "yes, now go and do the same and help others."

The call to put our children first by making a stand for equitable, just
and effective family law reform is just the same. The children of
Australia are being robbed of their fathers through injustice, financial
impropriety by government departments and a corrupt and biased Family
Law Court system. Even more tragically many children are robbed of their
fathers permanently through death by suicide, most of which are caused
by our current family law system, but very little is being done to
address these shocking injustices. Many of Australia's children have
fallen amongst thieves.  We cannot pass by on the other side of the road
like the lawyer did in the story.  

The proposed Family Law Reform bill, to be voted on in seven days time,
is seriously flawed as an instrument of reform, because it does not
address the anti-father gender bias of the Family Law Court system.
Children need a mother and a father. Waheed Ali, legal assistant to a
Family law Court judge, calls the current reform a 'mirage'. Every
indication suggests that the Family Law Relationship Centres will follow
in the footsteps of the Family Law Court. Eg The Family Law Court put in
a submission against the 'rebuttable presumption of shared parenting'.
All of the major counselling groups who have applied to operate the
Relationship Centres have also spoken out against shared parenting..
Einstein's definition of insanity 'doing the same thing and expecting a
different result' applies to this reform process. 

The National Fatherhood Coalition asks you not to pass by on the other
side of the road, like the priest and lawyer, but to speak up for the
fatherless children of Australia by doing the following: 

1.       Contacting the Senators in your state of residence by email,
letter, phone and fax. The very best way is to go and visit them
personally. Ask them to amend the bill and put our children first. For
Senate contact details go to: www.aph.gov.au 

2.       Contacting all 72 Senators by email, letter, phone, fax and
appointment and ask them to put our children first and grant equality to
mothers and fathers in a court of law.

3.       Contact all the media outlets you know, local papers, national
papers, TV and radio, including talkback radio, and ask them to
publicise the fact that the current family law reform is fundamentally
flawed as it stands and the Family Relationship Centres will not work
unless the Family Law Court is directed to give equality and justice to
both parents and children.

4.       Contact all your friends, neighbours and those within your
respective networks to also help you do all of the above to put our
children first, above the interests of the corrupted family law system.
Our children need justice and mothers and fathers need equality. How
much longer must our children wait?

For comment on the above please contact:

Warwick Marsh

National Fatherhood Coalition

02 4272 6677

041 822 5212

 

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News & Info

 
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lyer_500.jpg> 

Letters

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

I am quite passionate about good fathers being allowed to share the 

responsibility of raising their children after separation. The only 

workable solution is the rebuttable presumption of equal time, which is
shared custody. I strongly challenge opponents of this proposition and
particularly those who dish up petty, generic and completely unfounded
reasons for opposing it. On matters of great principle I won't defer to
others no matter how important we might consider them to be. The truth
eventually dawns but it takes honesty and grit for people like you and
me to help bring it about.

Ian Windsor

http://www.windsorparalegal.com.au 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

Just a short note to inform you that Dr Rob Moodie will launch the dvd
'Inside a Men's Group: Sons of the Fathers' at Nicholas House 15 Pelham
Street, Carlton, Friday 31st March.

Yours Sincerely,

 Nick Theophilou

[email-masked] 

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Dad's Prayer

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Dear God

My children ask me the hardest questions sometimes,

And sometimes I haven't got an answer.

My children teach me 
so much sometimes,

And I must admit I really thought I knew it all.

Dear God

Why?

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About Us

Mission Statement & Help Us!

 
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h%20October,2005_Foundation%20Logo%20180.jpg> 
Mission Statement 

The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated
association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence
as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and
empowering families.

Click here for more information about us
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Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.
That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation.  Life is
also about relationships.  That's what being a good father is all about,
developing relationships with your loved ones.
 
If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,
please mail your cheque or money order to:
Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

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