Subject: Getting Your Heart Back
From: <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 16 Apr 2006 09:27:05 +1000

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Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 	Go to our website Here
<http://www.fathersonline.org/> 	 
 
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*	Welcome Warwick
*	Grandads
*	Laughter
*	Single Dads
*	All you need is Love
*	Thought of the Week
*	Special Feature
*	News & Info
*	Dad's Prayer
*	About Us

Welcome Warwick

 
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> We have just celebrated Easter.  Our children think that Easter is all
about chocolate eggs and rabbits but, of course, it is really about
something far deeper and stronger.  Good Friday is called 'good' because
it celebrates the death of Jesus Christ on a cruel cross and Easter
Sunday is a celebration of his resurrection.  Many people think of Jesus
as effeminate, or as Larry Norman said, 'a guy who has recently had his
nails done!'

Nothing could be further from the truth.  Jesus was a man's man.  Edwin
Louis Cole said that 'manhood and Christlikeness are synonymous'.  John
Eldridge, author of 'Wild at Heart' www.ransomedheart.com
<http://www.ransomedheart.com/>   a best seller all around the world,
articulates the cry coming from a man's heart for spiritual reality.
I'll let John Eldridge tell you in his own words:

Eve was created within the lush beauty of Eden's garden.  But Adam, if
you'll remember, was created outside the Garden, in the
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wilderness.  In the record of our beginnings, the second chapter of
Genesis makes it clear: Man was born in the outback, from the untamed
part of creation.  Only afterward is he brought to Eden.  And ever since
then boys have never been at home indoors, and men have had an
insatiable longing to explore.  We long to return; it's when most men
come alive.  As John Muir said, when a man comes to the mountains, he
comes home.  The core of a man's heart is undomesticated and that is
good.  "I am not alive in an office," as one Northface ad has it. "I am
not alive in a taxi cab.  I am not alive on a sidewalk."  Amen to that.
Their conclusion? "Never stop exploring.". . .

And so my boys and I stood on the bank of the Snake River in the spring
of '98, feeling that ancient urge to shove off.  Snow melt was high that
year, unusually high, and the river had overflowed its banks and was
surging through the trees on both sides.  Out in the middle of the
river, which is crystal clear in late summer but that day looked like
chocolate milk, logs were floating down, large tangles of branches
bigger than a car, and who knows what else.  High and muddy and fast,
the Snake was forbidding.  No other rafters could be seen.  Did I
mention it was raining? But we had a brand-new canoe and the paddles
were in hand and, sure, I have never floated the Snake in a canoe, not
any other river for that matter, but what the heck,  We jumped in and
head off into the unknown, like Livingstone plunging into the interior
of dark Africa.

Adventure, with all its requisite danger and wildness, is a deeply
spiritual longing written into the soul of man,  The masculine heart
needs a place where nothing is prefabricated, modular, non-fat, zip
unlock, franchised, on-line, microwavable.  Where there are no
deadlines, cell phones, or committee meetings.  Where there is room for
the soul.  Where, finally, the geography around us corresponds to the
geography of our heart.  Look at the heroes of the biblical text: Moses
does not encounter the living God at the mall.  He finds him (or is
found by him) somewhere out in the deserts of Sinai, a long way from the
comforts of Egypt.  The same is true of Jacob, who has his wrestling
match with God, not on the living room sofa, but in a wadi somewhere
east of the Jabbok, in Mesopotamia.  Where did the great prophet Elijah
go to recover his strength? To the wild.  As did John the Baptist, and
his cousin, Jesus, who is led by the spirit into the wilderness.

Whatever else those explorers were after, they were also searching for
themselves.  Deep in a man' heart are some fundamental questions that
simply cannot be answered at the kitchen table.  Who am I?  What am I
made of?  What am I destined for?  It is fear that keeps a man at home
where things are neat and orderly and under his control.  But the
answers to his deepest questions are not to be found on television or in
the refrigerator.  Out there on the burning desert sands, lost in a
trackless waste, Moses received his life's mission and purpose.  He is
called out, called up into something much bigger than he ever imagined,
much more serious that CEO or 'prince of Egypt.'  Under foreign stars,
in the dead of night, Jacob received a new name, his real name.  No
longer is he a shrewd business negotiator, but now he is one who
wrestles with God.  The wilderness trial of Christ is, at its core, a
test of his identity.  'If you are who you think you are . . .'  If a
man is ever to find out who he is and what he's here for, he has got to
take that journey for himself.

He has got to get his heart back. 

Lovework

Tell your children the real story of Easter.  Explain to them that only
a real man could say, "Father forgive them for they know not what they
do!" with nails driven though both hands and both feet.

Yours for getting our hearts back

Warwick Marsh

________________________________________ 

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is 
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in 
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician, 
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he 
can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 
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pg> 

The tragedy of life 

is what dies inside a man

while he lives.

Albert Schweitzer

 

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Laughter

 

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Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered
over the fence. 

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely
asked, "What'cha doing, Tim?" 

"My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. "I've
just buried him." 

The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish,
isn't it?" 

Tim patted down the last heap of earth, then replied, "That's because
he's inside your dumb cat."

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Single Dads

 

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> No More Vanilla Visitation

By Beth Neuman

Let's face it. Many divorced dads don't get the luxury of living with
their children or even seeing them every week. That's why it's so
important to enjoy the time that you do get to spend with them and plan
activities that will strengthen your relationship.

Whether you've got your kids for a weekend or a week, there are a wide
variety of activities single dads can do with their kids, no matter what
their interests and ages are.

Young Children:

- Children's Museum - These museums offer a safe and fun learning
environment. There's sure to be plenty of educational activities to keep
them entertained for hours.

- Petting Zoo - Young children are fascinated by animals. Interacting
with animals can open up the lines of communication - even with your
youngest tot. Just make sure to keep an eye on where they (and you) are
stepping.

- Pet Store - You don't have to get a new pet to enjoy a pet store. Take
time to look at all of the different animals. If you're feeling like
super-dad, you can even buy them a pet. It might be wise to stick with a
small hassle-free pet, such as a fish or turtle, or risk incurring the
wrath of your ex-wife.

- Park / Picnic - Venture out to a new park, pack a picnic lunch, and
don't forget the juice boxes, snacks, and plenty of napkins.

- Concerts/Theatrical Event - If you're brave enough to handle an arena
of screaming tikes, why not take them to a concert or play.

Check your local community centers or online for information.

Older Children:

- Board Game Night - Remember when you used to stay up all night wired
on coke playing Battleship, Operation, and Monopoly? Relive those days
with your own children. Order a pizza, get a couple two-litre bottles of
soda and let the games begin!

- Video Games - Teach the young ones a few new tricks. Warning: modern
video game controllers are much more complicated than the two-button
joysticks of the Atari-era.

- Shopping - Although this might make some kids (and dads) cringe,
others love to get out and look around in stores, etc. Be sure to talk
to you kids and be firm about spending limits. You will survive.

- Bike Ride - Why not take a nice bike ride to your local ice cream or
local store? You probably could use the exercise anyway. Just be sure
that the kids can handle their bike before you're a mile away from home.

- Pool - Pool - Cool off and take a break by relaxing in the water.
Pools are inexpensive and can keep your kids entertained for hours!

Teenagers:

- Theme Park - Theme parks are all over the country.
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g> Just make sure you pick a good day - rain can put a damper on things,
but nothing is worse than being stuck for two hours sweltering in a long
line.

- Camping - Map out a camping destination and head for the great
outdoors. This is a perfect activity for older children and teens. All
you'll need is a tent, a cooler full of food, a first aid kit and an
industrial-size can of bug spray. And yes, toasted marshmallows are as
good as you remember.

- Museums - Many people that actually live near or in a city don't take
the time to see the tourist attractions and museums that big cities have
to offer. Note: make sure this is something that interests your children
otherwise you're bound to hear a lot of sighs and see a lot of
eye-rolling.

- Sporting Events - Don't mess with success. For generations dads have
been taking their children to the football or cricket to bond with them.
Eat hot dogs and cheer for the home-team and impress your teen with your
sports knowledge.

- Concerts - Ask your kids about their favorite bands and find out when
the next one will be in town for a concert. You might be surprised to
find you've actually heard of them. Regardless, they'll always remember
singing along with their favorite band with their dad.

The most important thing to remember is that it's not really what you
do, but how you do it. No matter how you spend your time, make sure you
really reach out to your child and try to communicate with them.
Spending quality-time with your child is essential to maintaining a
great father-child relationship after a divorce. They need to know that
you are there for them and want to spend time with them.

Reprinted from:
http://www.levingsdivorcemagazine.com/vanilla_visitation.html
<http://www.levingsdivorcemagazine.com/vanilla_visitation.html>  

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All you need is Love

  

How to Say "I Love You" Everyday
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By Michael Kiely

Love is not something you feel. It's something you do, according to
someone called David Wilkerson, and I agree with him.

You "do" love when you put yourself out for the loved one. Sacrifice
your time for them.

You also 'do' love by little signals...

Continuing my list of tactics for a total love attack:

' VOICE MAIL MESSAGES ' I impersonate imaginary lovers calling my wife
and conspiring to meet her behind my back. I put on accents and make
impassioned pleas for her favours. It's fun.

' YELLOW STICKY PADS ' When I am going away for a few days on business,
I sometimes go through the house with a little pad of sticky yellow
notepaper and a black texta pen and leave variations on the theme 'I
Love You' in places she'll find as the days wear on. In the freezer,
under her pillow, on the bathroom mirror, in among her underwear, in her
handbag, above the door so she won't see it until she turns to leave the
room, high up on the wall in a place I risk breaking my neck to reach.
(Girls scream disapproval while you're taking risks, but love it when
the feat is complete.) I put one in the oven that she didn't find until
it nearly burst into flames when she turned it on without checking.
Filled the kitchen with smoke. Laugh! Well, eventually she did.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Congratulations go to Michael Kiely.

Australia's biggest independent book distributor has agreed to handle
'Man Overboard'. Thanks to Warwick Marsh at the Fatherhood Foundation
who gave me the contact at Woods Lane Distributors. We have been sent a
contract and we are ready to press the button and hope that the good
Lord knows where the $10,000 we need to print and promote the book will
come from, because I have no idea. 

Contact Michael at: [email-masked]  

For more ideas and to read more of Michael's journey go to
http://manoverboardbook.blogspot.com
<http://manoverboardbook.blogspot.com/>  

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Thought of the Week

 
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art.jpg> 

To give a man back his heart

is the hardest mission on earth.

from the movie 'Michael'

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Special Feature

Job Description - Parent
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g> 

POSITION :

Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Father 

Mum, Mummy, Mama, Ma, Mother

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an
often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable
hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour
shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments
in far away cities!  Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier
duties also required. 

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and
be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize
social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be
willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must
handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,
plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the
best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
accountability for the quality of the end product! Responsibilities also
include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility. 

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that
those in your charge can ultimately surpass you! 

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis. 

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college
will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give
them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme
is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for
everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are
appreciated

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News & Info

 

Integrity Alliance congratulates
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ett.jpg> 

Senator Guy Barnett on ISP Filtering

Integrity Alliance endorses and congratulates the initiative, by Senator
Guy Barnett, to have trialled in Tasmania new technology for filtering
out pornography and extreme violence at the Internet Service Provider
(ISP) level.

This is an initiative welcomed by the private and public sectors of the
community, who have been calling for action by the government for
sometime. 

Ross Wilson from Integrity Alliance stated, 'that parents are concerned
about their children being exposed to unsolicited pornographic imagery
on the internet. Surveys conducted in Australia in 2003 show that 84
percent of boys and 60 percent of girls have been accidentally exposed
to pornographic material while using the internet for legitimate
purposes.'

Research has also shown that 70% of hits on internet sex sites occur
between 9-5 on business computers. This equates to lost time and dollars
being incurred by employers and ultimately by the community.

'There is no upside to internet pornography. There is no good porn or
degrees of acceptable porn. Pornography comes at a cost, a cost that is
primarily borne by our children, families and community,' said Mr.
Wilson

We look forward to the results of this trial and call upon the
government to quickly legislate for mandatory filtering of pornography
at the ISP level.  We also ask the public to contact their Members of
Parliament, urging them to act and address this current censorship
anomaly. 

For further media information please contact: Ross Wilson 07-3808 9448 /
0411-153 617;  Mary-Louise Fowler 02-6383 4242; John Grant 0411-869 027.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

HELP NEEDED FROM MEN FOR A VERY IMPORTANT STUDY

Finally after all these years of pushing, Griffith University is
conducting a study into Marital and De Facto Separation on Men,
especially suicide

An increasing number of people are experiencing separation and divorce
in our community. Relationship breakdown, in the form of separation or
divorce, often brings stressful times in the lives of those involved.
The separation from a loved one can turn a person's world upside down,
and in the peak of distress can even lead someone to question the worth
of their own life. We need your assistance and participation in this
study to provide help to those experiencing difficulties with
relationship breakdown and separation.

The study, run by AISRAP, Griffith University, will investigate the
process of separation and identify key critical moments. Having a deep
knowledge of the most upsetting  circumstances associated with the
splitting of a couple will help reduce stress and suicidal behaviour too
frequently experienced by males during the separation process.

This will be accomplished through identifying the critical times where
males are most at risk of feeling overwhelmed by the situation they are
experiencing, and providing them with the most appropriate referral
pathways.

The results from this study will benefit the community through providing
valuable information in the support of individuals experiencing marital
or de facto relationship breakdown, separation, and divorce. The study
results might influence policy makers, and provide modification of
existing procedures.

I have a number of Participant packs here.

Please send me your details via email if you would like to participate
and a postal address so as I can arrange the packs to be posted.

Guys it is most important to get behind this. If we wish to effect
change this is one of the major steps. Confidentiality is assured.

Tony Miller dids

[email-masked]

www.dadsindistress.asn.au <http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/>   

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

DADS IN DISTRESS IS COMING TO PERTH

I want to tell you how fortunate we are to have Tony Miller, founder of
Dads In Distress (DIDs) coming to visit Western Australia in April in a
few weeks time.

And ALL are welcome to join with Tony in the week commencing Monday 24th
April.

Tony Miller is a living legend and a man whose tireless work has saved
many dads from despair after family breakdown and divorce.

He is a leader of men, a man with an enormous heart and compassion for
young men who face the most agonising grief and hurt and loss because of
divorce, family law and the loss of their children. As we all know, the
loss of our dear children is enough to rip a hole in any father's heart.

Tony Miller is a witty and jovial character - he's a good bloke! He's
also serious about his work and expanding the DIDs groups to reach more
and more men.

You are all invited to join Tony in information nights and in holding
real DIDs group sessions. The personal growth that happens in those
special moments between men are extraordinary and have resulted in ever
more DIDs groups being set up around Australia.

Dates: (Information Nights)

Perth - Monday 24th April

Perth - Tuesday 25th April

Bunbury - Wednesday 26th April

Bunbury & Surrounding Districts - Thursday 27th April

Perth/other areas - Friday 28th April

Some participants will want to take Tony's lead and set up and run DIDs
groups. You will have Tony's personal support to do this.

Others will feel a need to participate and join a DIDs group and that's
great; that's what DIDs was created for, to support men, strengthen them
and open the door to their futures as men with dignity and fathers to
their children.  

If you want to be part of this opportunity to experience DIDs then
please RSVP as soon as possible by contacting me on my mobile 0409 917
345 or email to [email-masked]

Exact times and venues will be advised but we need to know approximate
numbers in order to plan the DIDs sessions with Tony and the information
nights.

This unique opportunity to meet Tony Miller and experience DIDs is about
to happen, in this month, April 2006. By indicating your interest and
contacting me as soon as possible, your place will be secured. Mon 24th
April and Tue 25th April are the key dates for Perth.

Please also pass this message on to anyone you think might want to
attend, anyone you think would benefit and especially the Dads in
distress.

Yours Sincerely,

Edward Dabrowski

Federal Director

Shared Parenting Council of Australia

m. 0409 917 345

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Counselling and Ministering to Men

Date: Sat 20 May 2006 

Place:  A Block, Christian Heritage College, 322 Wecker Rd, Mansfield

Counselling and Ministering to Men is a one day conference featuring
experienced and qualified speakers who have years of counselling and
ministry experience in working with men and boys of all ages. It is
designed not only to shed light on the difficulties and struggles many
men face today, but also to offer practical and biblically based
solutions to these problems. 

It can be tough being a Christian man in today's world. Many of us
struggle to understand what mature masculinity looks like, especially in
the absence of role models that can be trusted to light the way for us.
Statistics, which include rates of male suicide, pornography addiction,
absentee fathers, antisocial behaviour and falling school performances
amongst adolescent boys, and low church involvement amongst men, all
seem to indicate that many males are doing it tough.

Anyone who is concerned for men and boys today - including pastors,
counsellors, those in lay ministry, as well as Christian men themselves
and those who love them - will leave this conference better equipped to
help men grow to be all they are meant to be in Christ.

Key Speakers 

Peter Janetzki

Counsellor; educator; radio talk show host of 96.5's 'Talking Life';
Masters in Social Science, (QUT). Wild at Heart - The Essence of Real
Masculinity

Phil Henry

Counsellor in private practice; Men's Group Leader; Masters in
Counselling, (QUT).

Important Principles & Practices in Working with Men 

Workshop Speakers

Alan MacKenzie

Counsellor; group leader, Ministry to Men

Matt Boulton

Pastor of Brisbane City Church

Dr John Meteyard

Counsellor; Lecturer at Christian Heritage College

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Wrong Direction on Family Law Reform

As part of a major overhaul of the Family Law Act, the Australian
Government plans to spend $200 million establishing a network of 'Family
Relationship Centres'.

But despite good intentions, Family Relationship Centres will add little
to the divorce process in Australia.

In a paper to be released on Wednesday 12 April, Family Relationship
Centres: Why We Don't Need Them, Arti Sharma argues that although it is
a good idea to make divorce less adversarial, Family Relationship
Centres won't work, aren't needed by 95 per cent of separating couples,
and are a waste of taxpayers' money.

'The proposal to establish Family Relationship Centres should be
scrapped. They are being established so that the Government is seen to
be doing something about the divorce process, but in reality, these
centres will do nothing at all to improve the system.'

Under the proposed reforms, separating couples with children are forced
into compulsory dispute resolution and made to submit parenting plans
for approval before moving to divorce proceedings, regardless of their
personal circumstances.

'While the proposal requiring a parenting plan before couples proceed to
court is sound, how parents develop these plans should be left to them.
Only after couples have tried to resolve parenting issues and failed is
there any need for compulsory dispute resolution.'

'By making dispute resolution compulsory for divorcing couples who do
not need help, the Government is reaching new levels of paternalistic
intervention.'

Family Relationship Centres needlessly duplicate the voluntary and
publicly-funded community sector relationship services.

'The danger is that this will end up destroying the community sector's
independence, wasting taxpayers' money and hindering rather than helping
couples who need assistance with the divorce process.'

'Family Relationship Centres represent the incorporation of private,
voluntary and community services into intrusive bureaucracy.  They will
be costly to run, and if they fail, it will be a costly failure.'

Overwhelmingly, separating parents resolve custody issues independently.
'Only a very small proportion of divorce cases find themselves having to
go to court to resolve conflict over children.  The Government's
response seems disproportionately large compared to the problem.'

'Family Relationship Centres are an example of symbolic politics; in
reality they will be no improvement at all.'

Arti Sharma is a Researcher at The Centre for Independent Studies.

 She is available for comment.

READ IT ONLINE HERE:  http://www.cis.org.au/IssueAnalysis/ia70/ia70.pdf
<http://www.cis.org.au/IssueAnalysis/ia70/ia70.pdf>  

All media enquiries:

Gina Schwass, Public Affairs Officer

Ph: 02 9438 4377

Mob: 0407 211 562

Email: [email-masked] <mailto:[email-masked]>  

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Letters

Dear Fatherhood Foundation & the Dads of Australia

Like everybody this is Easter, I'm going to be thinking about my family
over this holiday. But I'm one of the lucky ones... my baby daughter is
going to be with me for half of Easter.

Many of us are not so lucky. Holidays are a time for family, and if you
have been excluded from your family it can be a very hard.

Please (please) don't let it get to you this Easter. Don't give up hope.
Don't become another statistic. You may be alone now, but your child/ren
need you. 

Even if your kids don't know it now, suffering as victims of PAS and
malicious mothers, never-the-less, when they are older, they will want
to know you and they will want to know the truth. 

If you are struggling this Easter, don't do it alone. 

Ring Men's Line, on 1300 78 99 78, and take advantage of one of the
first groups to get some funding for men (but still mostly staffed by
volunteers)  :-) 

Or ring me . . . James Adams (PartTimeParent) on 0417 258 364

You're not Jesus... 

Don't die for the sins of others  ;-) 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

In Marriage

Passion & pleasure brings you together,

But Love & loyalty binds you forever.

Peter Rahme

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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Dad's Prayer

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Dear God

If I give you my heart,

Will you give it back to me?

If I give you my dreams,

Will you help me live them?

If I make a mistake,

Will you pick me up again?

So that I can aim for what I cannot do

And reach for the stars inside my heart,

Which you put there in the first place.

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About Us

Mission Statement & Help Us!

 
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Mission Statement 

The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated
association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence
as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and
empowering families.

Click here for more information about us
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Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.
That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation.  Life is
also about relationships.  That's what being a good father is all about,
developing relationships with your loved ones.
 
If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,
please mail your cheque or money order to:
Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

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