Subject: Remembering our Forefathers
From: <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 30 Apr 2006 09:32:48 +1000

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Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 	Go to our website Here
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*	Welcome Warwick
*	Grandads
*	Laughter
*	Single Dads
*	All you need is Love
*	Thought of the Week
*	The ANZAC Spirit
*	News & Info
*	Dad's Prayer
*	About Us

Welcome Warwick

 
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g> We woke at 5 am, rubbed the sleep from our eyes, hastily dressed and
then drove to our local ANZAC Dawn Service at the Port Kembla RSL. (For
our overseas readers ANZAC Day is an Australian national holiday
celebrating the war efforts of the Australian and New Zealand Army
Corps)

The first thing we noticed was how difficult it was to get a park in the
usually deserted streets.  Cars were everywhere. After walking some
distance towards the RSL Club we were surprised by the enormous crowd
silently filling the streets in the pre-dawn stillness.    We estimated
that there were probably 500 gathered there in that pre-dawn darkness.
Old diggers with medals resplendent stood next to young children. It was
amazing to see the number of young children, toddlers in strollers and
babies in arms.  We wondered how a family did not have better things to
do on a public holiday.  Apparently they didn't.

Twenty years ago all the pundits were saying that ANZAC Day was dead.
Try telling that to the 9,000 Australian who braved the cold at Anzac
Cove in Turkey for the dawn service after travelling half way round the
world.  Try telling that to the millions of Australians who attended
dawn services and marches all over the nation. Try telling the
grandchildren of our fallen war heroes that their sacrifice was not
important and that they should not be honoured for their service for the
nation.  I'm sure it would provoke a war.  Why the enthusiasm for Anzac
Day?

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andaughter.jpg> 

I believe it is silent testimony to the fact that the hearts of the
children are being turned towards their fathers.  Danna Vale MP,
previous minister for Veteran Affairs and a mother of some note says,
'Mothers provide nurture, but fathers provide children with an
identity'. For a while Australians seemed to be losing their identity.
Maybe the fact that ANZAC Day has been resurrected is proof that we as a
nation are finding our identity again as we search for the importance of
fathers.  Maybe, just maybe the renewal of ANZAC Day is also proof of a
deep longing for spiritual truth that is embedded in the heart of man. I
enclose the prologue from the Pt Kembla Dawn Service by President R
Wetherall OAM for your inspiration below:

"We are assembled here to commemorate that immortal day when the young
men of Australia, by their deeds and sacrifice, demonstrated to the
world at Gallipoli that Australia was truly a nation.

The sons and daughters of Anzacs came forward without question, accepted
gladly, and discharged fully their responsibilities during World War II,
Korea, Malaya, Borneo, Vietnam and the current conflicts.

On this day we remember the sacrifice of such men for an ideal, for a
way of life.  Let us take strength in the knowledge and hope that our
sons and daughters will never forget the example set by our forefathers.
In our everyday life let us endeavour to carry on those traditions
established in past wars and conflicts at such a tragic cost.

We think of every man, woman and child who, in those crucial years, died
so that the lights of freedom and humanity might continue to shine.  We
nurture too the obligation of showing gratitude for the peace we enjoy
and the responsibility of ensuring that the freedom and liberty so
costly won is not lost by our own indifference.

So let us mourn with pride, but let us also remember with equal pride,
those who served and still live. 'See that ye hold fast the heritage we
leave you, Yea and teach your children that never in the coming
centuries may their hearts fail of their hangs grow weak."

Lovework

Teach your children well.  They should know what price our fathers paid
for their liberty. We do not seek to glorify war beyond its rightful
place, but our father's stories must be told, otherwise our hands might
grow weak and we may lose our liberty by default.  So teach your
children well.

Yours for remembering

Warwick Marsh

PS  On ANZAC Day I went to see the movie 'Kokoda', a five star rating
according to the reviewers.  For once they got it right.  Next week I
will tell you more about Kokoda and how our forefathers 'done us proud'.
In the meantime see the movie for your self and make your own judgement.
________________________________________ 

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is 
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in 
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician, 
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he 
can still laugh at himself.

(Grandaughter Photo by Robert Pierce. SMH )

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Grandads

 
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if> 

 

They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old,

Age shall not weary them nor 
the years condemn;

At the going down of the sun, and 
in the morning

We will remember them.

The Last Post

 

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Laughter

 
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An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He
would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old
and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an
e-mail. He explains the problem:

"Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my
garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the
garden for me.
I love you,
Your Father"

The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son:

"Beloved Father,
Please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the
THING'.
I love you, too,
Ahmed"

At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit
the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every
inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house.

A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son.

"Beloved Father,
I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes.
That's all I could do for you from here.
I love you,
Ahmed."

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Single Dads

 

Barry's Story
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g> 

Hi. My name is Barry Williams, National President of Lone Fathers
Association Australia. 

Back in 1970 I become a lone dad, after my wife decided she no longer
wanted to be part of the family and left, leaving behind four children,
the youngest 3 months old, and the other three in primary school. I was
a truck driver at the time and worked long hours starting at 6am and
finishing often at 8pm, which made it extremely hard to do my job and
cope with four small children. However I was determined that I was going
to raise our children regardless of the obstacles placed before me.

I tried to encourage my ex-wife to see the children but she did not want
to. She was a chronic alcoholic and was only interested in drinking with
her mates in Nambucca Heads where she ended up shifting to. But I did
not give up trying to get her to see the kids as she was still their
mother, and for the next 2 years I drove from Canberra to Nambucca Heads
with our four children every third weekend trying to coax her to see
them as I always believed that children need both mum and dad in their
lives.  

After two years she made no indication she would cease her drinking and
spend time with our children. I decided I was not going to continue to
put the children through this torture of travelling that far to see
their mum, only to be disappointed at what they saw. My ex filed for
divorce and the case went to court in Sydney. I somehow
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> managed to win custody of the children, but that was not enough. As
soon as welfare found out I was a lone dad working and looking after
four small children they harassed me stating, 'It is not right for a man
to raise children on his own'. They came to remove the children from the
family home with the intention of putting them into a welfare home. The
children were always clean and well groomed, attended school and were
properly fed, the house was always clean. Pretty good considering I was
working and a full time house dad. The three month old child was being
cared for by Mrs Pearl Smith (pensioner) whilst I was working.

I challenged the two welfare officers on what grounds they believed they
could take the kids. They could only say that mothers should be looking
after the children and that they knew of no other cases in Australia
where a man was looking after so many young children. I told them to get
off my front steps or I would push them off it. They went over the other
side of the road and rang the police, who attended and asked what was
going on. They told the police I refused to let them take the children.
The police then asked me if I had threatened the two women. I responded
and said I told them to get off my steps and stop harassing me or I
would push them off the steps. I am the father and have custody granted
by the court, and I intend to raise my children even by myself. The
police told the two welfare officers to get going or they would charge
them.

So life went on for me and my kids. I was classed as some sort of freak,
I guess, because I was a single man looking after his own children.
Strange as it may seem, many of my so-called friends did not want to
know me, even some members of my family did not give appropriate support
that one would expect.
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pg> 

I ended up having an accident whilst driving the truck. I could not work
and was only given compensation for 6 weeks, then had to sue the company
for negligence. This took nine years to go to court. In that time I had
no income and no money, so I had to resort to shooting rabbits, ducks,
kangaroos, and catching fish to feed my kids and myself.

Back then there was only a supporting mother's pension, not extended to
fathers who had their children. I saw this as discrimination and went on
a five day, five night hunger strike outside Federal Parliament House in
Canberra, to change the supporting mothers benefit to the Single Parent
Pension. Gough Whitlam wouldn't hear about it, but Malcolm Fraser told
me to pack up and go home and he would meet with me. A meeting with him
took place two weeks later and Malcolm Fraser agreed it had to be
changed to the Single Parent Pension, which it is now. I never ever went
on that pension as I chose not to. Down the line I received the Queens
Medal (BEM] British Empire Medal for that change and other work I
continued to do.

I founded Lone Fathers Association which is now the National Peak body
of Family Law in Australia and is the largest and longest running
established men's movement in Australia, with 19 branches in operation,
and further large branches to be established in Sydney, Melbourne, Gold
Coast, and Tasmania by the end of June 2006. (We do not discriminate and
allow women to become members and become committee members if they wish.
We have 30% women members).

By the way after many years my ex-wife sought help for her chronic
alcohol problems and started to see the children. We get on really well
now, and I believe we may have established a pattern of part-shared
care, although by that time the children were a lot older. 

Thirty years ago, and even twenty years ago, men had no rights
what-so-ever in family law. There have been many good changes in many
areas, giving men much more rights than in those days, but there is
still a long way to go before we see complete equity and justice. Lone
Fathers Association Australia will continue until this goal is achieved.
I am sure I can say this for all our closely associated associations:
Parents without Partners, Dads in Distress, Fatherhood Foundation,
Shared Parenting Council, Fathers for Justice, FICS, Law Reform
Association NSW, Fathers for Equality, Child Support Action Group, Men's
Rights Agency, Grandparents Association, Stepfamilies Association, and
others I may have missed out on.

I would like thank all our hard working branches for all their great
work and support in volunteering, helping all those less fortunate, with
their family law and child support problems.

Finally I would like to pay respect to all those who could not cope with
the system and may have taken their lives or passed away. This is also
extended to all our military service men and women.

God Bless

Barry Williams BEM, JP, CMC

National President

LFAA         

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All you need is Love

 
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pg>   

More Fun Ways to Say "I love you" 

By Michael Kiely

 

*BUTLER - My son's very beautiful and very observant girlfriend pointed
out to my wife that I have become her butler. I make it a practice to
bring her a cup of tea in bed in the mornings, and slice some fruit if
we have any fresh, or juice some vegetables, whatever is available. I
make her favourite poached eggs once or twice a week. And I have learned
how to cook her favourite dish: lamb roast. I consciously put myself out
to fetch things for her when I see her about to get up and get them for
herself. I do it because I enjoy it and it feels good. And it is part of
my 'walking the talk' strategy. I stumbled onto it by sheer luck. My
wife tripped and damaged her sciatic nerve, soon after my conversion.
She was bed ridden for a week and needed to be chauffeured everywhere. I
became her arms and legs for a few weeks, a good start for my campaign
to win her heart.

* MASSAGE - This is the best relationship mender I can think of. It
started for us when my wife's damaged sciatic nerve left her in great
pain. And has continued ever since. Feet, calves, thighs, buttocks,
back, shoulders, neck, arms, hands, and that's it. One rule: no sex
afterwards unless she initiates it. It is not a trade for sex. She must
feel no pressure, so she can enjoy the massage completely relaxed
throughout. This might seem hard on the male masseur, but I find the joy
of touching her body satisfying in itself. The physical closeness is
what sex is mainly about. Fixation on orgasm is blocking lovers from the
full enjoyment of sex, anyway. Sex catches up to you eventually and it
is better for the wait. And what better way to demonstrate your love
than by denying yourself the most basic urge. She knows what it means. I
massage her twice or three times a week. I tell her what a privilege it
is and how I get as much from it as she does. It won't work if she feels
guilty. You might have trouble getting her to agree at first. Keep
trying. Start with only a foot massage. As she grows to trust you, it
will develop. 

Taken from Michael Kiely's blogspot.

More ideas there:  http://manoverboardbook.blogspot.com
<http://manoverboardbook.blogspot.com/>   

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Thought of the Week

 
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By profession I am a soldier

and take pride in that fact

but I am prouder 

to be a father.

General Douglas Macarthur

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The ANZAC Spirit

 
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pg> 

The Anzac Spirit (Part 2)

By Col Stringer

Possibly just one Aussie Digger saved Australia from invasion by the
Japanese. The action taking place at Isurava. Let me quote Patrick
Lindsay again from 'The Spirit of Kokoda': 

"There are turning points in battle - as in life - critical moments in
which the course of events is frozen for an instant, waiting for someone
bold enough to seize a fleeting chance at immortality. At that moment
the Japanese were poised, ready to make a final triumphant charge
through to battalion headquarters. It would have been the terminal
blow!.Bruce Kingsbury saw his chance. Firing from the hip, he charged
straight at the stunned attackers. Alan Avery watched in awe: 'He came
forward with the Bren and he just mowed them down. He was an inspiration
to everybody else around him'.he just went straight into 'em'.as if
bullets didn't mean anything ...We all got a bit of the action, you see.
When we saw him, when you see a thing like that you sort of follow the
leader, don't you?....I reckon he almost gave his life away!..there was
nothing scared about him. He did a marvellous job."

Kingsbury's gallant charge completely demoralised the enemy. His
sweeping fire cut down perhaps 30-40 of the enemy and sent the remainder
diving for cover. For his inspirational valour, Bruce Kingsbury was
posthumously awarded the Victoria Cross - the first ever on Australian
territory.

What was the motivation, what turned these young 'teenagers' into
courageous fighting men? Men who inflicted the first defeat on the
hitherto invincible Japanese Army! To answer that question let me quote
the young men's officer Phil Roden, from the book 'The Spirit of
Kokoda',

"I'd like them to be remembered as a group of men who stood up to be
counted when the chips were down, and who fought to save their country
from what was deemed then to be a threat. And they didn't think twice
about doing it. Some gave their lives doing it. I'd like them to be
thought of as good parents, good fathers, good husbands and as good
Australians who were there for the welfare of all people in Australia." 

The Anzac Spirit of Mateship

Two things stood the young Anzacs in good stead, their great sense of
humour under almost any circumstances and their great sense of
"mateship". Let me quote Ion Idriess again as he relates about those
magnificent Light Horsemen in "The Desert Column":

"No doubt we are a queer lot, a scatter-brained, laughing lot. Last
night, the whole crowd were trying to sing comic songs. They made the
oasis hideous with choruses of the most idiotic songs I've ever heard
......But the dearest memory, the one that will linger until I die, is
the comradeship of my mates, these men who laugh so harshly at their own
hardships and sufferings, but whose smile is so tenderly sympathetic to
other's pain." 

This account in the book "The A.I.F. in Sinai and Palestine" sums up the
young Light Horsemen's attitude towards their beloved "mates": 

"..no wounded man should be permitted to fall into enemy hands. To a
singular degree this noble pledge was observed. After two and a half
years constant fighting only 73 Light Horse prisoners had been taken by
the Turks, and most of these were wounded before capture. Not a single
Light Horse officer was captured by the enemy. During the same period
the light horse captured 40,000 to 50,000 Turks...."

This 'mateship' is a distinguishing feature of the Aussie Digger, always
has been! During WW11 Australian prisoners of war survived the
horrendous Japanese prisons at almost twice the rate of the Americans
and Brits. How come? No one is suggesting for a minute that these young
Anzacs were physically superior in any way. So obviously there must be
some other explanation. I saw a documentary on TV recently dealing with
this very subject, and the answer came from an Aussie doctor who had
been there himself. He said whenever he visited the 'hospital' in the
Japanese prison camps he would find a dying American or Brit often
accompanied by a mate or two, but more often than not he would be dying
alone. But not so with the Aussies ? rarely would he find such a
scenario. The doctor said that it was an honour to watch an Aussie
Digger die, because he was always surrounded by a bunch of his mates!

The doctor added that these mates would be bathing their friend,
spending hours keeping him as cool and comfortable as possible during
their bouts of malaria or dengue fever. If the sick needed help or water
there was always a mate there to lend a hand - day or night. Another
thing was the verbal support they gave each other, urging their sick
mates on, that they were going to make it. I can imagine some of the
blokes: "Come on Bluey mate! You have to make it back to Aussie, you
still owe me 10 quid and I ain't gonna let ya cop out on us!" I believe
it was this support that would have pulled their mates through those
tough times. The documentary also talked about how many of the
Australian Diggers would risk their lives to sneak out to steal food
(and medicine) or buy it on the black market for their sick mates. One
old Digger interviewed broke into tears and said. "It was my mates that
pulled me through. If it wasn't for those blokes I wouldn't be here
today!" 

Many of the men formed bonds that lasted a lifetime. It was this
mateship that resulted in a survival rate of almost twice that of other
Allies. This quote from 'The Spirit of Kokoda' sums up mateship: 

"I emphatically believe in looking after number one. But number one is
not yourself - it's your best mate .....The feeling mateship gives you
when you are at the bottom of the barrel and along comes those mates of
yours. Often they don't say anything, they just sit with you. It's like
a husband and wife holding hands on one another's death beds - in time
of crisis words aren't necessary."  Is this not what exactly Jesus
taught us, after cutting away all the 'religiosity' -  "Greater love has
no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." (John
15:13).

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News & Info

 
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jpg> 

Mendacious mums can't be let off lightly 

If the High Court is too soft on women who deceive their husbands on
matters of paternity, parliament will have to step in, writes: Janet
Albrechtsen 26 Apr 06 - The Australian

SOME issues are so fraught with emotion and hurt, they don't bear
thinking about. It's tempting to put paternity fraud in that basket. But
science is putting pressure on the law to confront this vexed issue.
When a woman dupes a man into believing he is the father of a child she
conceived with another man, increasingly, DNA tests end up delivering
the shattering news. A father loses a child he thought was his, one he
raised, loved and cared for as his own. A child loses a father and a
family collapses. When that happens, what is the law to do?

The High Court is confronting that issue right now. Liam and Meredith
Magill were married in April 1988. A son was born in April 1989. Unknown
to her husband, a few months later Meredith began an affair with a man,
having unprotected sex until early 1995. In July 1990 a second son was
born. Then, the next year, a daughter. After separating, Meredith
admitted to Liam her concerns over paternity. A few years later she
agreed to DNA tests. Liam learned that the two younger children were not
his. 

He was left devastated, suffered chronic depression and was unable to
work. He sued Meredith for the tort of deceit, claiming financial
compensation for his pain and suffering, but not for money spent on the
upbringing and maintenance of the children. 

While the Victorian County Court found that Meredith had deceived Liam
when she nominated him as the father on birth registration notices, that
was overturned last year by the Victorian Court of Appeal. The High
Court will now decide whether the tort of deceit will hold Meredith
accountable for her actions. 

There are few hints as to which way the High Court will go. But few will
be surprised to hear that at the hearing a few weeks back, Justice
Michael Kirby pointed to international law as the guiding light. He
cited Article 3 of the Convention on the Rights of the Child and said it
means that the starting point in any matter that comes before the court
must be determining what is in the best interests of the child. 

Up in the rarefied atmosphere of international law, it's a neat sounding
slogan. But down in the trenches, trying to apply it to the specifics of
a case like this is another matter. Kirby suggests that the "best
interests of the child" test applies for the simple reason that this
case involves the depletion of family income: were Liam Magill to win,
Meredith Magill would be forced to pay. It's a novel argument. Taken to
its logical conclusion, it would prevent any legal action against any
person who also happens to be a parent. After all, any legal payout
drains the family income to the detriment of a child. 

Note that Kirby's focus on the best interests of the child did not
extend to a child knowing their biological father. Given that adoption
laws are now premised on this rationale, one might think it should also
apply here. 

In any event, the High Court will need to probe a little deeper than the
fine sounding but vacuous provisions of international law. And the
question is simple: should the law of deceit apply where a mother and
wife has deceived a husband into believing he is the father of a child?
The court need not mess with the law of deceit. The principles are
clear. Only the facts are new because science - DNA testing - is now
revealing the deceit. 

Those who claim there is a public policy argument in letting sleeping
dogs lie assume that preventing litigation of this kind will make for
happy families. It will do no such thing. It will only encourage women
to perpetrate fraud in an age when science can uncover the truth. And
there is no turning science back. Legal disputes over paternity fraud do
not create the unhappiness. They are merely the aftermath of mothers
deceiving men. 

As in every other sphere of life, the only way to encourage
responsibility is to make people accountable for their actions. The law
has an important role in sending powerful messages capable of shaping
behaviour in the future. Far from creating more unhappiness, legal
sanctions for paternity fraud will, in the long run, encourage mothers
to be honest about paternity. 

To read the rest of this article please go to source:

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20876,18928924-32522,00.htm
l
<http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20876,18928924-32522,00.ht
ml>  

________________________________________________________________________
______

Letters

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

I've been reading your newsletter every week since 2002, and the Monday
morning perspective check is invaluable, I reckon.

Well done for keeping this going for so long

Even though there's a bit of right wing fundamentalism at times over
certain issues, I'm sure that there are many other of us blokes out
there who appreciate the work you do, so thanx again

Ciao

Chris Maple

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

Thanks for the newsletters they keep me going sometimes

Cheers

Gary

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Dad's Prayer

 
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g> 

Dear God

It was very inspiring to join

with millions of my fellow Australians

who attend dawn services all 
across Australia.

I was thinking about what I could say to you this week.

Would you accept the word of 
the 'Abide with Me'

which we sang on the streets 
of Port Kembla

At the ANZAC Dawn Service?

Abide with me, fast falls the eventide,

The darkness deepens, 
Lord with me abide;

When other helpers fail, 
and comfort flee, 

Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

I fear no foe with Thee at hand to bless,

Ills have no weight and 
tears no bitterness, 

Where is death's sting?

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About Us

Mission Statement & Help Us!

 
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h%20October,2005_Foundation%20Logo%20180.jpg> 
Mission Statement 

The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated
association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence
as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and
empowering families.

Click here for more information about us
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www.ausheart.com.au/fathers/about/index.html>  

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.
That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation.  Life is
also about relationships.  That's what being a good father is all about,
developing relationships with your loved ones.
 
If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,
please mail your cheque or money order to:
Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

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