Subject: Fathers Sharpening Saws
From: <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 9 Jul 2006 09:14:56 +1000

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Issue 202 - 10thJuly 2006 	Go to our website Here
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*	Hello Warwick
*	Grandads
*	Laughter
*	Single Dads 
*	All you need is Love
*	Thought of the Week
*	Special Feature
*	News & Info
*	Dad's Prayer
*	Help Us

Hello Warwick

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My family and I have just come back from the Hillsong Conference, held
in the Acer Arena (formerly the Super Dome) in Sydney's Olympic Park.
We first attended this yearly conference in 1989, along with 400 other
enthusiastic delegates.  This year (17 years later) Hillsong celebrated
its 20th Anniversary with 26,000 delegates plus 4,500 volunteers and a
total attendance at their two night meetings of up to 35,000 people.

You may have seen stories in the media about the Hillsong Conference
because it is now the largest conference in Australia. People come from
all over the world to Hillsong.  This year over 71 countries were
represented. It is also the largest media event in Australia, with a
daily broadcast to the world via satellite. The music and media of
Hillsong Conference is almost beyond belief.  Each year it has different
stage and lighting sets that combine the latest and greatest in
technology with such full blown creativity it takes your breath away.
As someone who is involved in the music and TV industry, and as a
committed father, I find the whole event incredibly inspiring, as does
my musical family.

Each year the Hillsong Conference has different elective streams that
you can attend. Examples are media, music, community action,
counselling, business management, spiritual leadership and much, much
more.  They bring the best speakers in the world to Australia for this
conference.  Speakers such as John Maxwell, one of the world's best
business management speakers, spiritual leaders like Bill Hybels, who
has organised the world leadership summits in the USA for many years,
speakers on family issues such as Robert Fergusson and Dr Allan Meyers,
musicians like Darlene Zschech, Australia's biggest selling artist
although better know around the globe than in Australia.  Last year Guy
Sebastian sang, and this year Paulini (both from the Australian Idol
series) sang a breathtaking version of 'Wind Beneath My Wings'.

For us Hillsong is a real family affair.  We attend together as a family
and find that there is plenty to do for the whole family.  Hillsong has
a program called Kidsong for under 12 years, Jam for high schoolers in
two different age sections as well as the general stream for all and
sundry.  

Why would we go to such a conference?

It's simple really, 'You have to keep the saw sharp'!  Every family
needs time away together.  Every family needs some fun.  Every family
needs inspiration.  Every family needs a purpose.  Hillsong is one of
those conferences that inspires and teaches people and families at so
many levels.

If the saw gets blunt, it needs to be sharpened,
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otherwise frustration will set in, and sadly the saw sometimes is thrown
away in disgust.  The answer is to keep the saw sharp (thank you Mr
Covey) and the work will get done with a minimum of fuss and
frustration.

We, as fathers, have to find ways to get new inspiration and new ideas,
in order to renew the child within us, so that we can be a source of
life and encouragement to our families.

One of the Hillsong speakers, Jentezen Franklin, challenged us, 'When
the child in us dies because of the pressure of work and life, we cease
to become a source of life and hope for those around us'. Bill Hybels
spoke candidly about how he 'hit the wall' because of overwork in 1990,
and was almost put in the madhouse.  His psychotherapist ordered him to
find some form of recreation outside of his work.  He took up sailing
and now encourages those busy people working in stressful occupations to
do the same to avoid burn out.  Recreation is important for us all.
Recreation is another word for 'sharpening the saw' of our hearts, minds
and souls.  Conferences such as Hillsong give us the opportunity to get
great input into our lives that will challenge, inspire and refresh us
and our families, something we cannot afford 'not to do'.

Lovework

Take a recreation audit on your life.  What are you doing to keep the
saw sharp and keep yourself inspired and encouraged as a father?  If the
answer is 'nothing' - beware!  Blunt saws make family life frustrating
for all concerned, especially your wife and children.  Take time out to
go to a conference, family seminar or have some fun.  Expose yourself to
continual challenges and learning opportunities.  

Your family will be glad you did.

Yours for more inspiration

Warwick Marsh

PS Enquiries continue to pour in for our 'Good to Great' Fatherhood
Mentoring Course which will be starting on 7th September 2006 in
Wollongong and running for 10 weeks.  For information and a free DVD
pack please email [email-masked] <mailto:[email-masked]>
with your name, address and phone details and we will send it to you.
Places in the course are limited and we will have to prioritise those
who get their applications in first.

Looking forward to hearing from you.  Keep up the great work of being a
great dad!

Regards

WM

 ________________________________________ 

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is 
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in 
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician, 
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he 
can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 

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The most unhappy people I know 

are searching for happiness 

through self gratification.

The best way to stay happy 

is to live beyond yourself.

Bill Hybels

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Laughter

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One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant
only to find that he had locked the keys in the car. He insisted he
could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back to the
restaurant to get one. There were none to be found. 

John then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned
with a hanger. After a few attempts, he got the door open and we climbed
in. As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger under his
seat. 

With a smug grin, he said, "Now if this ever happens again, I'll have
one." 

_________________________________________________________

Incapacitated
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g> 

I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned
asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," I
replied, "but I've been incapacitated." 

Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and
volunteer. 

I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that
means?" 

She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?" 

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Single Dads 

 

The DIDS meeting 

5.5 years have passed
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It would be in truth easy to write an actual book, on the years of
continued support I have been given during the most horrific time I 

have experienced over the last 5 years. 

A Breakdown, mentally, physically and Spiritually devastated my life, 

Which was no longer a life, crippled with rejection, depression,
anxiety, grief, despair, loneliness, exhaustion , guilt and seemingly 

continuing badgering from those I sort help from, psychiatrists,
psychologists and general practitioners, even 'Lifeline' could not mend
this broken man . 

Utterly crushed by life's events, with no hope ...yes, no hope of a
life, no future......death, was the only release I could find. And I
gave the attempt a very well thought out attempt. I withhold the details
... [as others may use it, and with horror succeed!] 

Horror...attached to anguish, anguish attached itself to confusion and
the depth of sadness.....all that within me, likened to a cancer
ravishing the struggling, tired, body, all were in my eyes, and mind,
crushing what was left of this pathetic husband, and a father of 3
wonderful children, and all my deep pains were irreversible. 

So burnt out thoroughly, the grief of my losses so painful that no
physical pain could outdo it. The words 'depth of pain', and 'anguish'
are mere words, reality would out display all of their pitiful meaning,
and the words to endure, to survive held no reasoning within them, to Go
on living. 

'IT'....had been now 8 years of 'HELL'. Even these pitiful words remain
insipid and without meaning, totally weak and pathetically useless in
this crisis. 

Crisis did I say! Even this word also, held no meaning! 

And.........then there was DIDS ...WHAT A PATHETIC NAME!!! 

This advert in the Advocate gave me a sense of..... help?.... Yes? 

No......Not at all ... though, I would like to speak to a man for a
change! 

Even that seemed of little hope ...a useless waste of the little energy
I could muster. 

So ... I went along ... after dragging myself to Church! For the reality
of God was all I could clutch onto, "If He and His Son Jesus aren't for
real then what hope was there anyway, and, if He is for real, where are
You in my anguish ?" 

I found the meeting area [a place, I would in time to come call with a
sense of belonging, 'The Pub with No Beer!' - Oh yeah!!!! I can laugh
now!!! Back then, pathetically it looked like a piteous dump! Hope went
somewhere!! 

Yet, there . I found myself sitting and listening nervously, too afraid
to talk except for 'g'day'...a real.... short conversation! 

What a bunch of 'no-hopers' they looked, and this bloke... who
supposedly ran it, well he looked worse than me!!!! So........with my
new confidence, that I would be the least, most crippled man in the
place ... I took my seat, realising my thoughts were hypocritical at
least!
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Coffee was a relief! Then there were these blokes, telling their stories
as each one was handed a rock with a face on it. 

What am I supposed to say? Where would I start? Well they did start by
telling their name.........at least I knew mine! However downtrodden I'd
become. 

Blast! Their stories were incredible, but their honesty was what struck
me. We weren't being counselled? We were actually being listened to,
unless I was so far gone, or I was mistaken! 

And this? This rock thing! I MEAN, what sorts of 'Cult' have I let
myself fall into? Blokes from all parts of life, all differing in
stories and looks, all with heads and eyes staring at this rock as if it
had 'ears to hear, let ME listen!' So, I'm sitting there, still like,
wishing I could get up and disappear, and I'm thinking, perhaps they
won't notice if I move. . . No chance, I'm stuck here! 

Coffee was great!!!!!! 

Oh yes, I shared, well I talked, and listened!!! And at last the time
came, I got up and retreated to 'home' ... well where I existed. 

I went there devastated..... that I had used up my last option for life!
But, the next week, Sunday night, I went back to 'The Pub with No Beer!'
Didn't matter, I hardly ever drank...only depressed me further. 

This visit was different, very different as I recall. I spoke!! Burnout,
grief and depression, anxiety and stress had confined me to a life
without people, so talking was almost impossible. 

I was always a good listener, so foolishly I kept my pain to myself,
pretended that I could cope, and stressed myself foolishly, as I
listened to others telling their stories of broken lives and lost
dreams, smashed relationships along with seldom seeing their kids. So it
went on, weeks at a time, until I learnt that it was ok to speak the
truth about how devastated I truly was. But how could I talk. 

And so the week came when I just 'spoke' with tears .Another broken man,
amongst broken men. At last I fitted the group. We each met on that
verandah as often as we could, and told our stories of the past, the
present week, and of our needs for what we had lost. 

It is, and was a great experience, we all learnt to encourage one
another as best as we could, and sustained each others hope in that we
were not suffering the conflicts of domestic warfare alone. We began to
really understand ourselves, and to accept each other's different
circumstances, and age differences. 

As I said, I could write a book, I'll leave that to Tony Miller, who
along with the other guys helped me back into life. As a Christian Youth
Director for 18 years, I decided that it would be wise to return to a
meeting place, which is one meaning of church, the building is but a
rain shelter.........and began to get my life back, who I was, and where
I could assist as I had been assisted, So here I am at dids, along with
you all. Why did I tell my story here ...well why not?!!! And I thank
God truly for my Family, and their support, even tho' they each
themselves were hurting. To them I say a huge thanx. 

If you are depressed, or think you are, feel defeated, in despair, tired
of the 'battle', then I am interested to speak with you. 

If you want to leave this world because of the pain of loss, I care. 

My very best Regards Col

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All you need is Love

  

Jan. 26, 2006 - Good Morning America  

Dr. Scott Haltzman admits that his 17-year marriage has its flaws (as
does everyone's, he says), but you can still learn plenty from him.
Haltzman, author of "The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to
Win Your Wife's Heart Forever", shares his tips below. In case you're
wondering, Haltzman does follow his own advice.
www.secretsofmarriedmen.com <http://www.secretsofmarriedmen.com/>  

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/womans.heart.230
x230.jpg> Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever

Make Marriage Your Job: Treat your marriage like it's your top priority.
Use the problem-solving skills you learn at work on your marriage. If
there's a problem in the marriage, react the way you would if you had a
problem at work: Break it up into small doable tasks, hatch a strategy
and stick to it. 

Know Your Wife: Most men assume they know their spouse, but don't know
who she really is. Observe her when she's with her friends or cheering
on the sidelines at a soccer game. Take notes: What does she like?
Dislike? And use that information to convey to her that you truly know
her. 

Be Home Now: Most men are not hardwired to spend a lot of time at home -
harkening back to the hunter-gatherer days. They also struggle to let go
of their bachelor ways. When they get married, they don't know the rules
- one of which is: Your wife expects you to come home. Also many men are
away from home because they're working very hard to support the family -
something they consider a labor of love, but their wife considers a
problem. 

Expect Conflict, Deal With It: Fights are inevitable. Even happy couples
fight. Trouble is, a man's natural inclination is to dig in and fight
till the death. But a guy can lessen the blow if he learns to fight
better. Don't get defensive. Soften your tone. Don't point fingers. 

Learn to Listen: Simple, but powerful. All those women out there who
complain their men don't listen may be right: Listening does not come
naturally to men. The good news is: It's a skill that can be learned.
Men can make small changes and in turn make their wives feel like
they're being heard. First, turn off the TV. Second, make eye contact
with her. And third, don't pace; stand still. 

Aim to Please: All those networking skills men learn at work - use them
at home. Treat your wife at least as well as you would your boss, your
co-worker or your most important client. Rule of thumb: All those things
you did for her while you were courting, you should still be doing them
now that you're married. 

Understand the Truth About Sex: The simple, unavoidable fact is that men
and women are different, and what they need in the bedroom is different,
too. The old stereotypes - that women need more intimacy, a slow build ?
may or may not be true. But what is true is men and women need to
acknowledge that they're different and be sensitive to where the other
is coming from. 

Introduce Yourself: This should be the last step - once you're in your
wife's good graces, reintroduce yourself to her. Let her know who you
are, what you care about and what you want. 

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Thought of the Week

 
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jpg> 

Love God,
love people . . . love life.

Brian Houston

founder of Hillsong

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Special Feature

What is Happiness Anyway?
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pg> 

'Happiness' should be distinguished from 'joy'. 

Happiness can be defined as the feeling of pleasure when a need or
desire is met. Unhappiness results when we expect that need or desire to
be met, and it isn't. Happiness is a superficial, fleeting feeling. It
fades quickly unless the need or desire is met again and again. 

Joy on the other hand, is a deep seated attitudinal emotion. It is
associated with spiritual values and is more lasting than happiness. The
joyful person knows their value and goodness and remains positive about
their life even in the face of great suffering. It is possible to be
unhappy and joyful at the same time.

Too many people, including married couples and parents, focus on
happiness rather than joy. We focus on satisfying the superficial
desires and overlook the deeper longings of the heart. 

An obvious example is the parent who caves in and buys their child a new
toy, when really what the child desires is more attention and time.
Attention and time (in other words, love) gives a child (or a spouse) a
sense of their value, of their inestimable worth. It develops within
them an attitude, a certain perspective that sees and experiences life
as a privilege. 

We say, 'we just want our children/spouse to be happy', but happiness
really is a very low goal. Rather, aim for joy: a lasting and empowering
perspective that gives us meaning and fulfillment that endures.

________________________________________________________ 

An excerpt by Byron & Francine Pirola from their newsletter 'Smart
Loving'

www.CelebrateLove.com.au <http://www.celebratelove.com.au/>  

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News & Info

 
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t%20Logo.JPG> 

 

 

 

GOOD  to  GREAT  -  the  challenge

The 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course is a ten week, intensive
training exercise in fathering excellence. It features some of the best
speakers on fatherhood in Australia such as Brigadier Jim Wallace,
former commander of Australia's SAS. 

Commencing: 7 pm Thursday 7th September 2006 at Wollongong Campus 

Completion: 16th November 2006 - Duration: 10 weeks 

'Good to Great' is not for the faint hearted. Our children deserve the
best of the best, the world's greatest fathers. An attitude of
excellence will prevail in this course. Recruits will need integrity,
courage, self discipline and a sense of humour as well as the
determination to be a team player who will do what he must, to ensure
the success of himself and those around him. 

Modelled on the training plan of Australia's elite special forces, the
SAS.

The Australian SAS is one of the greatest special service military units
in the world. The training for SAS recruits produces soldiers who are
the best of the best - proficient, disciplined and committed leaders.
Becoming a 'Father of Excellence' will require a similar standard of
single-mindedness and devotion. The challenges and inspiration to be
gained will equip men to be effective servant leaders well able to
challenge and inspire those around them. 

Hear from fathers who have succeeded at what matters the most

Each week of 'Good to Great', you and your colleagues will be issued
with field exercises. These exercises will involve you increasing your
level of practical fatherhood skills. One such assignment will be to set
one night a week aside for family dinner. Another, to take your wife
away for a romantic weekend. Each dad will have a mentor. These fathers
will share their weaknesses and strengths and their keys for success as
a father. A pooling of our knowledge and skills will help us all to be
more effective. Everybody has something to contribute to one another's
development.

If you are up to the challenge and opportunity of being a father by
which other fathers can set their compass, then 'Good to Great' is for
you. Be more than a man, be a Father of Excellence. Do it now. Do it for
your children, yourself, your wife and family and your nation.

A DVD and enrolment form is available. 

Please email [email-masked] <mailto:[email-masked]>
with your name, address and phone number to request an enrolment form
and DVD.

Places are strictly limited. Priority will be given to those who are
first to register. A rigorous selection process will be completed and
you will be notified at the earliest opportunity.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

40,000 Strong at Hillsong Conference

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_________________________________________________________

 

Letters

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

I would like to know whether you are planning on running the 

Good to Great course down in Melbourne sometime. 

Thanks for praying with me a few weeks ago. 

God was my strength and defence, the outcome was great.

You guys are fantastic - keep up the good work.

Alex

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Dad's Prayer

 
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Dear God

Please help me love you more.

Please help me love people more,

especially the unlovely ones.

Help me love life.

If I love life, this will help

keep my saw sharp.

Sawing timber with a blunt saw 

is hard and frustrating work

If I keep myself constantly 

challenged and recreated,

the saw will stay sharp

And we will have more fun.

Fun is not a four letter word.

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us
<http://www.ausheart.com.au/fathers/about/index.html>  

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. 
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a   source
of harm. 

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in
fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible,
involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their
children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation
Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund 
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax
deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558 

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the
Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the
Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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