Subject: Twice Adopted
From: <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 16 Jul 2006 08:14:25 +1000

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Issue 203 - 17thJuly 2006 	Go to our website Here
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*	Hello Warwick
*	Grandads
*	Laughter
*	Single Dads 
*	All you need is Love
*	Thought of the Week
*	Special Feature
*	News & Info
*	Dad's Prayer
*	Help Us

Hello Warwick

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Michael%20Reagan
.jpg> 

Sometimes, when you read a book, it is just a story. Other times the
story reaches out and grabs you with both hands. That's what the book
'Twice Adopted' by Michael Reagan © 2004, Broadman & Holman, Nashville
USA, did to me when I read it. 

Mike is the adopted eldest son of Ronald Reagan, former President of the
United States of America. He is also a syndicated, radio, talk-show
host, who has a 200 station hook-up across the USA. Mike has authored a
number of best selling books and appears on TV regularly www.reagan.com
<http://www.reagan.com/>  

Sean Hannity says this of Mike Reagan. "Mike is a courageous,
compassionate and generous human being. He is honest to a fault. In this
book, Mike turns his life inside out and dumps it on the table for the
whole world to see. He has held nothing back. In 'Twice Adopted' Michael
reveals the pain, fears and tortured memories of a survivor of childhood
sexual abuse. He also shares the story of his salvation and redemption
from those painful memories and his self destructive behaviour . . .
Mike's story will make you angry. It will bring tears to your eyes. It
will challenge, inform and motivate you. And one more thing . . . it
will change your life."

Sean is right. If you have experienced any level of family dysfunction,
and let's face it, most of us have who are alive today in the western
world; you will find some part of Michael Reagan's story to call your
own. The fact that he was the son of the President of the United States
makes it all the more interesting. Perhaps Michael's words at his
father's memorial service give us an insight into the drama more fully
told in the book.

Good evening. I'm Mike Reagan. You knew my father as governor, as
president, but I knew him as Dad. I want to tell you a little bit about
my dad - a little bit about Cameron and Ashley's grandfather, because
not a whole lot is ever spoken about that side of Ronald Reagan.

Ronald Reagan adopted me into his family in 1945. I was the chosen one.
I was the lucky one. And in all of his years, he never mentioned that I
was adopted, either behind my back or in front of me. I was his son,
Michael Edward Reagan.

When his family grew to be two families, he didn't walk away from the
one to go to the other. He became a father to both families. To Patti
and then Ronnie, but always to my sister Maureen and myself.

We looked forward to those Saturday mornings when he would pick us up.
We'd sit on the curb on Beverly Glen as his car would turn the corner
from Sunset Boulevard, and we would get in and ride to his ranch and
play games - and he would always make sure it ended up a tie. We would
swim and we would ride horses or we'd just watch him cut firewood. We
were in awe of our father.

As years went by and I became older and found the woman I would marry,
Colleen, Dad sent me a letter about marriage and how important it was to
be faithful to the woman you love - with a PS: "You'll never get in
trouble if you say 'I love you' at least once a day." And I'm sure he
told Nancy every day "I love you," just as I tell Colleen.

He also sent letters to his grandchildren. He wasn't able to be the
grandfather that many of you are able to be because of the job that he
had. So he would write letters. He sent one letter to Cameron and said:
"Cameron, some guy got ten thousand dollars for my signature. Maybe this
letter will help you pay for your college education." He signed it
"Grandpa," then added, "PS. Your grandpa is the fortieth president of
the United States, Ronald Reagan."

Those are the kinds of things my father did.

At the early onset of Alzheimer's disease, my father and I would tell
each other we loved each other and we would give each other a hug. As
the years went by and he could no longer verbalise my name, he
recognised me as the man who hugged him. So when I would walk into the
house, he would be there in his chair opening up his arms for that hug
hello and the hug good-bye. It was a blessing truly brought on by God.

We had wonderful blessings of that nature - wonderful, wonderful
blessings that my father gave to me each and everyday of my life. I was
so proud to have the Reagan name and to be Ronald Reagan's son. What a
great honor . . . Thank you for letting me share my father, Ronald
Wilson Reagan.

Lovework
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jpg> 

Read a book that inspires you, challenges you and motivates you to be a
better father. Fathers are imperfect creatures at the best of times, but
in spite of all our imperfections our children need us so much more that
we will ever know.

'Twice Adopted' is all about the power of a father's love in more ways
than one. A country can always find another president but a good father
is irreplaceable.

Yours for 'a father's love'

Warwick Marsh

PS Enquiries are rolling in for the ten week 'Good to Great' Fatherhood
Mentoring Course commencing in Wollongong on 7th September 2006. Read
the News & Info section for more information about this course.

 ________________________________________ 

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is 
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in 
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician, 
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he 
can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

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Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We
didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought
for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same. 

Ronald Reagan
<http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/r/ronaldreag183965.html>  

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Laughter

These are actual comments left last year on Forest Service registration
sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping
trips in American National Parks:
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"A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a
way I can get reimbursed? Please call." 

"Escalators would help on steep uphill sections." 

"Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to
reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to
wilderness." 

"Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands." 

"Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are
more likely to chase animals." 

"All the mile markers are missing this year." 

"Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse." 

"Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go
uphill." 

"Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the
wilderness to rid the area of these pests." 

"Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow in the winter." 

"Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful
views without having to hike to them." 

"The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please
eradicate these annoying animals." 

"Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike
at night with flashlights."
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pg> 

"Need more signs to keep area pristine." 

"A McDonald's would be nice at the trail head." 

"The places where trails do not exist are not well marked." 

"Too many rocks in the mountains." 

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Single Dads 

 

Suicide Avoidance - 

Another Avenue of Assistance for Men - 

Help with Parenting Plans

By Ian Windsor

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For more than 17 years I have helped abused and deserted husbands and
fathers navigate their way through the Family Law minefield. I have a
high regard for good women and good men who respect each other and their
children. I strongly support families and the sanctity of marriage and I
am passionate about the rights of children to have both their biological
parents continue sharing their upbringing after separation, and this
implies the responsibility on the part of both parents to make it
happen. The problem we are still facing is that too many good fathers
are being denied this responsibility and there is insufficient practical
help readily available for them, hence this letter.   

You are no doubt aware that the new amendments to the FLA are
effectively a reiteration of the failed 1996 amendments. The government,
fully aware of the all the issues, has chosen not to change the custody
provisions that effectively put the best interests of lawyers and other
Family Court hangers-on ahead of children and their fathers. The changes
will make little difference unless good fathers are taken by the hand
and guided through the system.

Early in my own separation I was fortunate to get practical help from a
knowledgeable friend of a friend whose assistance with strategic
planning and detailed documentation was over and above the 'help' I got
from my solicitor. After three years of sheer hell I was awarded interim
sole custody and several months later I acceded to the mother's request
for shared custody. Having survived this dreadful ordeal I chose to
carry on the good work of my mentor in an attempt to stem this mindless
and needless destruction of other good fathers.

Under the new system good fathers, even with a vexatious ex-partner,
theoretically have a better chance of sharing custody. Even if they meet
the stringent requirements and are well prepared to deal with the system
and negotiate a fair and practicable parenting agreement, there are
still several hurdles to jump, namely: mediators, court appointed
experts, lawyers, children's representatives and judges. It remains to
be seen just how professional and unbiased these people will be
regarding best child-centred outcomes. 

Hitherto, most separated fathers seeking my help, have already wasted
tens of thousands of dollars on legal fees. The government quite
rightly, now wants separated parents to make parenting arrangements
themselves without first resorting to lawyers, whom it infers add to the
problem by encouraging litigation (a great money-spinner). The core
problem still remains. The government's refusal to legislate for a
presumption of shared parenting time, continues to give delinquent
mothers the upper hand. 

The government says that it hopes parents will negotiate fair,
child-centred parenting arrangements but the tilted playing field makes
it very difficult for good fathers to negotiate a proper, fair and
practicable agreement. Some fathers will be forced into court but most
will be 'good guys' and accede to the demands and threats of the
delinquent mother who treats the children as her exclusive property.
Thus little has changed.  

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Dad%20&%20Son.jp
g> I strongly encourage good fathers to have faith in themselves and
draw strength from others and the God who strengthens them, to prepare
for the battle ahead. Those who are motivated by love and who can meet
all the requirements for shared custody should not concede to the
delinquent mother but fight for their children's rights and best
interests. My understanding is that, unless there are good reasons to
the contrary and supported by substantive evidence, these fathers can
now expect equal resident parent time (shared custody) if they ask for,
or are forced to fight for it. 

I can offer very low cost support and practical help for these fathers
in respect of:

*    building self-esteem and self-confidence 

*    setting goals and realistic expectations 

*    learning strategies for dealing amicably with ex-partners and the
Family Law system 

*    planning strategies that include the requirements for equal
resident parent time 

*    drafting a parenting plan to Family Court specifications that can
be used to facilitate negotiation as well as form the basis of an agreed
parenting plan for a parenting order, and 

*    recovering costs from a delinquent ex-partner who force them into
frivolous and vexatious litigation

Ian Windsor Paralegal

More details can be found on my website at
http://www.windsorparalegal.com.au <http://www.windsorparalegal.com.au/>
Email: [email-masked] 

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All you need is Love

  

True Love
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By W. Shakespeare

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments.  Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:-

O no! it is an ever-fixèd mark

That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, 

But bears it our ev'n to the edge of doom:-

If this be error, and upon me prove,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

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Thought of the Week

 
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I love you Dad

Mike Reagan

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Special Feature

 
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g.jpg> 

I will never give up on you

This story was first published in Branching Out 

I gave birth to three children and I am the adoptive mother of one. Our
second child was born with Hydrocephalus and died at two and a half.
Nothing in my training in my first family and subsequently as a teacher
gave me the skills to deal with this. 

We could not have any more children so we placed an application in to
the Anglican Adoption Agency and miraculously were able to adopt. Our
daughter was 21 days old when the 4 of us picked her up. She had a
ready-made family just waiting to love her. A mother, father, 9 year old
sister and 4 year old brother. Our child gave us all a great deal of joy
and was such a blessing to us all. 

Our daughter always knew she was adopted. We tried very hard to make our
child by adoption know that she was as loved as any of our other
children. The adoption experience is different but we tried to make it
as normal as possible. The 3 children each had different hair colouring
so she did not stand out as different, even though this had been my own
experience - having red hair with parents and siblings who were
dark-haired. 

All the children were intelligent, our youngest being the most
competitive. In fact she was very like me and there were many occasions
when others said how much she looked like me or was as capable as I was
in some areas. 

We had 15 years of the ups and downs of "normal" living.Then adolescence
hit us for the third time. The teenage years (15-19) of our youngest
child gave us a great deal of heartache and many sleepless nights. 

There was the discontentment at the school she attended. Changing
schools did not make things any better, but we only recognized this in
hindsight. There were times I did not know where she was or who she was
with. There were many sleepless nights. There was the stealing,
marijuana taking and total disruption of our lives. 

I used to think a policeman would come to our front door and say " We
have found your daughter, dead, near a road. Why didn't you know where
she was?" I nearly went crazy. In fact there were times I was crazy. I
became a detective, a nag, an emotional wreck and felt like a total
failure as a wife, mother and human being. Other parents did not want
our daughter disrupting their lives so this was an isolating experience
for us all. 

She was the master of divide and conquer. There were many arguments
between my husband and me. There came a day when I knew we had to unite
no matter what. I explained to her father that as long as we were united
in our efforts, even if we were sometimes wrong with our decisions, we
would get through this. Her siblings gave up on her saying, "When she
comes good we will love her again" 

Throughout all this chaos and especially when I thought I had nothing
more in me to say or give, I said to my daughter, " I love you and I am
not giving up on you". These words were as much a statement to me as to
my daughter. I also sought help from PARC. There were times I visited
and times we both visited. I had my sanity saved by talking things
through when I was absolutely desperate. We went to the evening group
and spoke as survivors of this experience. I am a great believer in
sharing this success story. 

As a family we went through the challenge of meeting and sharing with
her birth mother and can only say this has been a positive experience
for us all. My philosophy has always been - we do not own any of our
children. They come through us or by adoption, but we do not own any of
them. 

Our daughter became an exceptional Personal Assistant to a high powered
Deputy Managing Director. She is a loving and caring daughter and sister
and is in a loving, committed 4-year relationship. She is the mother of
our first darling grandchild and we are so proud of her. We can now
laugh about some of those tough times. The cycle goes around again. 

The "children" are adults now. We get together around the dinner table
at least fortnightly. If this arrangement happens to slip by a little,
she is the one who says "When is the next dinner?" and organises that it
happens. I appreciate that she of all of them, wants it to happen. In
later years when asked by her bother and sister what is was all about,
she says she does not know. I believe her. 

If she ever has the need in rearing her children, I hope she will
remember to say those words, "I love you and I will never give up on
you". 

Josephine 

_________________________________________________________

This story and more resources available at the Australian Benevolent
Society Post Adoption Resource Centre   http://www.bensoc.org.au
<http://www.bensoc.org.au/> 

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News & Info

 
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t%20Logo.JPG> 

 

 

 

GOOD  to  GREAT  -  the  challenge

The 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course is a ten week, intensive
training exercise in fathering excellence. It features some of the best
speakers on fatherhood in Australia such as Brigadier Jim Wallace,
former commander of Australia's SAS. 

Commencing: 7 pm Thursday 7th September 2006 at Wollongong Campus 

Completion: 16th November 2006 - Duration: 10 weeks 

'Good to Great' is not for the faint hearted. Our children deserve the
best of the best, the world's greatest fathers. An attitude of
excellence will prevail in this course. Recruits will need integrity,
courage, self discipline and a sense of humour as well as the
determination to be a team player who will do what he must, to ensure
the success of himself and those around him. 

A DVD and enrolment form is available. 

Please email [email-masked]  with your name, address and phone
number to request an enrolment form and DVD.

Places are strictly limited. Priority will be given to those who are
first to register. A rigorous selection process will be completed and
you will be notified at the earliest opportunity.

_________________________________________________________

PIXELS FOR LIVES - Buy pixels and become a LIFESAVER! 
We lose 5 males every day through suicide in this country.....and we
seem to accept that..... 
Dads in Distress cannot!  Get behind us and help........please
Buying pixels and advertising your business or showing others that you
care, even by just sending a positive message, can help us to continue
the lifesaving work that we do.
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/pixels.html
<http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/pixels.html>  

10 July 2006 
Shared Parenting Council of Australia 
Letter to the Editor: Re The Age Article "Parents now more likely to
flee with kids" (9th July 2006) 
The specious concerns of lawyer Sally Nicholes about recent Family law
changes and the patently false headline "Parents now more likely to flee
with kids" ( 9th July 2006) do not diminish the common sense approach of
shared parenting. Rather these comments are designed to divert criticism
from the Family Court and its State welfare arm, The Department of
Community Development (DCD), after their poor conduct in the recent
Swiss Child Abduction case mentioned in the article. 
Read more
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news493.html
<http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news493.html>  

09 July 2006 
TVNZ / Sunday 
Father's fight Family Court 
They are bitter, desperate, and they are demanding justice - angry
fathers have been picketing the Family Court accusing it of an anti-male
bias. 
Read more
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news492.html
<http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news492.html>  

 

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Dad's Prayer

 

<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/man_looking_up.j
pg> Dear God

Mike Reagan says, 

"My search ended when I was twice adopted.

God is my father, and I am his child.

I'm finally home."

Mike is right - 

You are our father and you love us.

Help us love our children just like you love us.

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us
<http://www.ausheart.com.au/fathers/about/index.html>  

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. 
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a   source
of harm. 

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in
fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible,
involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their
children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation
Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund 
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax
deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558 

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the
Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the
Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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