Subject: True Love Waits
From: <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 23 Jul 2006 09:19:06 +1000

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Issue 204 - 24thJuly 2006 	Go to our website Here
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*	Hello Warwick
*	Grandads
*	Laughter
*	Single Dads 
*	All you need is Love
*	Thought of the Week
*	Special Feature
*	News & Info
*	Dad's Prayer
*	Help Us

Hello Warwick

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/father_daughter.
gif> As we drove along the busy street into town my 13 year old daughter
asked me, "Where are we going for lunch?"  I answered, "Somewhere
special because you're special!"

I'd like to think she was impressed, but I couldn't help feeling that
she just rolled her eyes with the nonchalant 'whatever' expression that
young teenage girls are so 'clever' with, especially when it comes to
anything to do with Dad.  Yes, my daughter too is thirteen going on
nineteen.  That most challenging of times that every parent braces
themselves for, and yet is never really ready for.

I have taken my daughter out on dates before and she was always mildly
impressed, except for that time when Dad started swinging around poles
in George St, Sydney on the way to the movies.  Dads are funny creatures
at the best of times.  This time I had to use pure subterfuge to win
this date with my daughter. She was not going to be embarrassed by her
dad again, so I had to be a little more cunning in order to get her to
go out with me.

My daughter had asked her mother for a purity ring, also known as a
chastity ring.  The idea behind it is to wear this ring to show that you
intend to keep yourself for your future husband/wife until marriage.
Whatever 'the ring' may be called, it struck me as a very good idea,
even better that it was not our idea but hers.  Just to know that my
daughter was thinking along these lines made me, as a father, intensely
proud.  The ploy was that we were going to pick up 'the ring' after we
had lunch together, my way of making a bit of a big deal about the whole
thing.  However I had already picked up the ring and had it in my
pocket.  All women love jewellery and my daughter is no exception.

As we turned into our local plush hotel, she said, "We can't go here its
too expensive."  I thought to myself, "You're right!" (As always money
is too tight to mention) But with a brave voice I said, "Nothing is too
expensive for a special daughter like you." As I asked the waiter for a
table for two, I felt my daughter's unimpressiveness wearing down
slightly.  

The next challenge I faced was conversation.  Even though my daughter
and I live in the same house, we both tend to live in a 'world of our
own'.  Come to think of it, maybe that is a hereditary trait.  Gee,
that's a worry!  

Trying to sound interested I asked, "What is your favourite pastime?"
"Sleep," was the one word reply.  I had long suspected that, but I was
still surprised by the answer.

"What about hanging out with your friends?" I asked.

"Depends on what friends," was the simple reply.

Horse riding and a whole host of other activities were pipped at the
post by 'sleep'.  

When it came to school, art and music were equal first, closely followed
by English and history, because of the teacher.  Maths was not high on
the list, because of the teacher. Singing and song-writing were
activities that at times came ahead of sleep and this was comforting for
me as a father, or should I say musician.  Mind you, all through this
deep and meaningful conversation my daughter was saying to me, "Can we
go now and pick up the ring?"  

<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/purity%20rings.j
pg> 

When I pulled the jewellery box out of my pocket and placed the ring on
her finger, she was delighted.  I asked her what this ring meant, and
she told me it was all about keeping herself for the man she was going
to marry.  When I asked, "Why?" she answered, "I don't know!"  That's
when I told her that if a man was able to love her by keeping the sex
act for marriage then he really did love her.  Love is best measured by
commitment.  True love waits.  When I asked my daughter if she had
thought about marriage, she told me she had picked her three best
friends to be her bridesmaids and the colour of their dresses. As I said
before, she is thirteen going on nineteen. This shows that it is never
too early to start talking about these important issues.  I am glad that
I have made a start with my wife's encouragement.

If our children can't learn from us, they will learn from someone else
and that person might not share our values and have our children's best
interests at heart.  Don't miss an opportunity!

Lovework

Talk to your children about marriage, true love and sex.  Use your
moments wisely.  After all, who better can they learn from?

Yours for True Love

Warwick Marsh

PS  We are offering 'Good to Great' for Single Dads as a specific stream
of our Good to Great Fatherhood Mentoring Course, commencing on 7th
September 2006.  To register your interest please check out the enclosed
'News & Info' section or email: [email-masked]   

 ________________________________________ 

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is 
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in 
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician, 
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he 
can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/grandparents.jpg
> 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

GRANDPARENT'S WEEK

By Dianne Sollee from Smart Marriages

http://www.smartmarriages.com <http://www.smartmarriages.com/>  

Those of you that have been on the list, know about "gramma week" which
I've been doing all ten years of Smart Marriages - started the first
year with just one grandchild.  For past six years, all five of my
grandkids come each summer to spend 10 days with me. Their parents go
off for a child-free "marriage vacation". I highly recommend it to all
able-bodied grandparents as the best marriage-strengthening gift you can
give your adult kids. My sons and daughters in-law look forward to it
all year long. I also think of it as preventive grandparenting - to help
make sure I don't ever end up either losing contact with my grandkids or
raising them full time after a divorce. (50% of all divorced adults
return to live with their parents after divorce - bringing their kids
with them.) But much more, I just do it for the sheer pleasure, it's a
total change of pace and makes me feel so young. I also love giving my
grandchildren the idea that their parents have a romance going on that
doesn't require their presence.  And that marriage is fun and romantic.
They get all giggly over the idea. "Wonder what mamma and daddy are
doing right now?" I ask them. "Probably dancing. Probably holding hands
while they kayak around the glaciers. Probably kissing on top of the
Eiffel Tower. Tee hee." It's also absolutely the best way to get to know
your grandkids - just you and them with no parents in between.  Mine are
now almost all grown up, 6 - 11.  Very different than when they were 1
to 7, but we can now go farther and do bigger adventures.

If you don't have parents that can do this, I encourage you to set up a
swap with siblings or friends.  It takes planning - so start now. If you
can't manage a week, take a long weekend.  It's a message to each other
- and a strong message to your kids.  We must practice what we preach.

http://www.smartmarriages.com <http://www.smartmarriages.com/>  

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Laughter

THE BIG BOYS
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pg> 

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Shane
Wakelin)

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein." (Mick Malthouse)

 "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (Peter
Bell - Fremantle - on his University Law studies)

 "You guys line up alphabetically by height," and "you guys pair up in
groups of three, then line up in a circle." (Barry Hall Sydney  Captain
at training)

Brock Maclean (Melbourne) on whether he had visited the Pyramids  during
his visit to Egypt: "I can't really remember the names of the  clubs
that we went to."

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of
what time it is." (Kevin Sheedy on James Hird)

Jonathan Brown, on night Grand Finals vs Day Games "It's basically the
same, just darker." 

Ron Barassi talking about Gary Cowton "I told him, 'Son, what is it
with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Barass, I don't know and
I don't care.'

Barry Hall (Sydney) when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to
kick 70 or 80 goals this season, whichever comes first."

"Luke Hodge - the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago."(Dermott
Brereton)

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"Chad had done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator." (Mark
Williams)

 "He scored that goal after only 22 seconds - totally against the run of
play." (Dermott Brereton)

 "We actually got the winning goal three minutes from the end but then
they scored." (Ben Cousins, West Coast Eagles)

 "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."(Luke
Darcy)

"That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was
identical." (Dermott Brereton)

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in football - but none of them
serious." (Adrian Anderson)

 "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing
again." (Andrew Demetriou)

 "I would not say he (Chris Judd) is the best centreman in the AFL, but
there are none better." (Dermott Brereton)

 "I never comment on umpires and I'm not going to break the habit of a
lifetime for that prat." (Terry Wallace)

 Garry Lyon: "Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography? David
Swartz: "On what?" 

"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/football.gif>
draw." (Dermott Brereton)

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air
for even longer." (Dermott Brereton)

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Single Dads 

 

<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/rollercoaster_1.
jpg> Well it was time to take my boy back today after spending the first
half of the school holidays together. We were fortunate this time as I
was able to save some money for an upcoming trip but ended up blowing it
on the little fella over the holidays. One of my dads in distress had
his three little girls for the first half of the holidays as well and
called in on his way up to Surfers Paradise. They were going to do all
the theme parks and we were invited to join them for a couple of days. I
thought it would be great for my young bloke as he would have someone to
go on the rides with as I always seem to have all the symptoms they
display on their warning notices for those that should not ride. Anyhow,
I ended up flaunting a few and joined my young bloke and the girls on
some of the rides. I have to say they scared the pants off me, but it
was worth seeing and hearing my young bloke and the girls having the
time of their lives. I was indebted to my mate for letting me share part
of his time with his kids. I hadn't witnessed my young bloke laugh and
smile so much in a long time.

The girls had a ball as well and were very, very brave. There seemed to
be no ride that scared them, all but the littlest. They started to call
me pop until they saw my disgruntled look ( I don't feel that old,
although I am already a pop) and after I ventured on a couple of rides
it was uncle and smiles all around. We shared lollies, ice cream,
donuts, maccas, all the stuff we as adults are not suppose to eat
anymore, but what the heck. It was good to be there. I had taken my
family there many years ago, way before my young fella could remember. I
remembered though. Once there were five of us now there are two.

One of the rides was a roller coaster in darkness. When I got off and
the kids went back for 2nd's, 3rd's, 4th's, I sat there thinking that
the ride pretty well summed up the roller coaster that I and many of the
dads in distress I know have been riding over the past 6 years. Sharp
twists and turns, up one minute down the next, going forward one minute,
backwards the next, never knowing where the next turn will take you or
what surprise is around the corner, all in utter darkness, not knowing
what's coming next and then eventually emerging back out into the light.
I was pleased to be out in the light.

No more time for thought. I was quickly snapped back into reality.
"What's next, Dad, Pop, Uncle........The Wild West ride, let's go," and
we did.......Two single dads, four kids, in a sea of families and we did
good.......

Now it's back to the empty time but maybe not so empty as before. I can
still hear their laughs......... I hope you are emerging into the light.

Tony Miller dids

[email-masked]  

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All you need is Love

  

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MESSAGE ON MARRIAGE TO YOUNG WOMEN

Chattanooga Times Free Press

By Julie Baumgardner 

July 2, 2006

When Barbara Dafoe Whitehead was growing up, her father gave her four
rules for selecting a husband. He should be a man of good character and
conscience and a man who will make a good father and be a good provider.
He must not be an asthmatic. Her father was a doctor and an asthmatic.

Ms. Whitehead did find a man who exuded most of these qualities and has
been married to him for 39 years. The one area in which she rebelled:
she married a man who is asthmatic.

"Things are different now for girls," Ms. Whitehead said. "Both of my
girls are single and in their 30s. One of them shared with me that
someone in college told her that to think about marriage shows a lack of
ambition. In the popular culture -- reality TV, celebrity gossip, etc.
-- young women today hear messages of heartbreak and failure, heartbreak

and cheating, heartbreak and lying. There is NOT a lot out there about
being successful in marriage."

According to Ms. Whitehead, only 20 percent of young adults came from
broken homes in the late '70s compared to 40 percent in the late '90s.
Many women have first hand experience with divorce. These young people
gather a tremendous amount of misinformation along the way that if acted
upon will significantly lower their chances of success in marriage.

"I believe there are five pervasive messages of failure that young women
are receiving today," Ms. Whitehead said.

* Teenage sex has nothing to do with having a healthy marriage. Two
thirds of today's teens believe it is OK to have sex if you love the
person. The truth is the consequences of teen sex can last a lifetime
while the relationship doesn't.

* It is OK to have kids first because you can find a guy later. The
highest percentage of unwed births today is to women in their 20s.
Although they hope they can find a guy later on, evidence shows that
their chances of successful marriage decline as do their chances of ever
marrying. 

* People should live together before marriage. The evidence suggests
that it does not increase your chances of having a successful marriage
and there is strong evidence that it increases your changes for divorce.

* There is nothing you can do to prepare for a healthy, successful
marriage. There are many who believe having a lot of bad relationships
is the only way to have a good one and heartbreak is unavoidable.

* There is nothing you can do to change your chances of divorce. The
mantra for today's young people is "50 percent of all marriages end in
divorce," Ms. Whitehead said. They believe that a successful marriage is
a roll of the dice. That is not true. There is a lot they can do.

"The truth is, young women in their teens and 20s should have tremendous
hope for a successful marriage in the future," Ms. Whitehead said. "If
you want to have a healthy marriage, here are some things to consider:

Caring adults can utilize the excellent resource "Making a Love
Connection" to assist teens in making healthy decisions. At the heart of
the message of hope is a message about sequence or timing. Young women
can significantly improve their chances of having a healthy marriage by
finishing high school, waiting until they are out of their teens to

marry and waiting to have a child until they are married. If they do
these things, their chances of living in poverty or divorcing decrease
dramatically, and their chances of having a healthy marriage go way up.

Teen girls looking for a committed relationship shouldn't settle for any
old guy. Don't live with someone before marriage. Most women want a
committed relationship. When they marry, they typically do so in front
of many people. There is no mistake about what they are doing. Moving in
with someone is private. There is nobody there except maybe the moving
guys. One young lady said, "I really didn't care about wedding vows, but
when I lived with my boyfriend we didn't vow to do anything.''

Young women should complete their education in their 20s and marry
before the age of 30. In general, research shows that if people marry in
their 20s, their marriages are distinctly happier than if they marry
later in life.

Girls should date with the intentions of marrying. It's important for
them to consider what they are looking for in a mate and don't date guys
who aren't marriage minded. They should put themselves in places where
they are likely to meet the kind of guys they are interested in
marrying. 

Young adults shouldn't wait until they are engaged to get marriage
education. They need to study relationships as much as possible. People
who know better do better. It's important to value marriage education
and share the knowledge with others.

Lastly, they should consider a small wedding, if marriage is in their
plans. Many people delay getting married until they can pay for a huge
bash or a destination wedding that stresses them out and makes them
crabby and tired. By focusing on the relationship instead of the big day
itself, couples can get a good start emotionally and financially and
spend more time together.

Julie Baumgardner is the executive director of First Things First, an
organization dedicated to strengthening marriages and families through
education, collaboration and mobilization. She can be reached at
[email-masked] 

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Thought of the Week

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Bride%20Father-1
s.jpg> 

 

Fathers are what give daughters away

to other men who aren't nearly
good enough . . .

so they can have grandchildren

that are smarter than anybody's.

Paul Harvey

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Special Feature

 
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pg> 

 

Talking to Your Kids About Sex

By Wayne Parker

 http://fatherhood.about.com <http://fatherhood.about.com/>  

Age Appropriate Discussions

Ages 0-3. You may feel that under 3 is too young to communicate about
sex, and from a clinical standpoint, you are right. But attitudes about
sex are formed early and have their foundation in relationships. The
focuses at early ages should be on knowing the names of body parts, on
healthy touch and on privacy and respect. 

Naming Body Parts. Children under age three are exploring their world
and their bodies and will be inquisitive. When you start helping them
know about ears and fingers, its OK to start helping them know about
penises and vulvae. Don't be ashamed or embarrassed. It is just part of
learning about their world. 

Healthy Touch. The foundations of sexual attitudes are formed early. You
can help your preschool child start to identify how good touch feels as
opposed to bad touch. Hugging and cuddling is good and healthy and will
help children feel confident in their own bodies. But avoiding unhealthy
touch (touching their own or others genitals) should be taught as well.
Watch for opportunities to teach proper attitudes toward touch. Help
them know that they should talk with you if anyone touches a part of
their body that is covered by a swimming suit. 

Teaching Privacy and Respect. One of the most important things parents
can do with preschoolers is to teach privacy and respect for others'
privacy. Teach them about dressing modestly when they are three and it
will not be much of an issue at 14. Help them know that certain parts of
our bodies need to stay covered. 

Ages 4-8. At this stage, children's curiosity about bodies in general
and sex in particular is growing. They begin to be aware of anatomical
differences-even a trip to the grocery store or the water slide may
evoke a discussion. And this is generally the stage where parents are
asked about some of the mechanics of making babies. 

Cultural Influences. The awareness of children to their surroundings
begins early and they will start noticing the cultural issues around
sex. If Mom or a friend's mom, is expecting a baby, there will be an
opportunity to talk about how babies get in there and how they come out.
They will also start becoming aware of body differences between men and
women. This is a good time to give accurate information and to reinforce
the messages you hope they get about sex and intimacy. 

The Mechanics of Sex. When you get the inevitable questions about sex
("How did the baby get in there?"), it's time to start talking about the
details of reproduction. It can start pretty simply. For example, you
can talk about a special seed that is inside daddies that combines with
a little egg that is inside mommies. When these two things combine, a
baby starts growing. Then, as questions continue ("How does the seed get
from the daddy into the mommy?") then you can get more clinical. You may
want to find some good books at your library or local bookstore that
will help you teach these principles. 

Ages 9-12. By the time your children reach nine or ten, they should know
the mechanics of sex and reproduction. They will likely be starting to
hear about sex from their friends and may start experiencing sexual
desire or arousal. Girls usually start first finding the opposite very
interesting-boys typically take a little longer. This is a good time to
start focusing on responsibility and helping children understand values
and consequences. 

Talking About Responsible Sex. As your children start feeling hormones
or cultural pressures about sex, it is a good time to talk about
responsibility. Help them learn that sex is natural and healthy, but
that it is meant as a part of a mature, committed relationship. Teach
them about the need to wait for sexual activity until it is in that
context. Help them know that sexual feelings are normal, but need to be
managed according to their values. Just like we don't always strike out
physically when we are angry, we don't act out when we feel sexually
aroused. Our actions need to always be governed by our values. Also,
help them understand the risks and consequences of a pregnancy if the
mom and dad are not ready to be parents. 

Be There To Answer Questions. Ages 9-12 is also a time when children are
open to asking questions of their parents and listening to answers. This
openness is fleeting once a child enters the teen years, and so dads
should take the opportunity to respond to questions when they are asked.
Full article at:

http://fatherhood.about.com/od/agesandstages/a/talkingaboutsex

<http://www.bensoc.org.au/>  

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News & Info

 
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GOOD  to  GREAT  -  the  challenge

STOP PRESS

Good to Great Information night & BBQ with Jim Wallace former Brigadier
of SAS, speaking 6:00 pm - 8: 00 pm 18th August 2006 at Lighthouse
Auditorium 1 Railway Square, Wollongong

rsvp by Wed 16th 02 4272-6677.

 

 

 

 

The 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course is a ten week, intensive
training exercise in fathering excellence. It features some of the best
speakers on fatherhood in Australia such as Brigadier Jim Wallace,
former commander of Australia's SAS. 

Commencing: 7 pm Thursday 7th September 2006 at Wollongong Campus 

Completion: 16th November 2006 - Duration: 10 weeks 

'Good to Great' is not for the faint hearted. Our children deserve the
best of the best, the world's greatest fathers. An attitude of
excellence will prevail in this course. Recruits will need integrity,
courage, self discipline and a sense of humour as well as the
determination to be a team player who will do what he must, to ensure
the success of himself and those around him. 

A DVD and enrolment form is available. 

Please email [email-masked]  with your name, address and phone
number to request an enrolment form and DVD.

Places are strictly limited. Priority will be given to those who are
first to register. A rigorous selection process will be completed and
you will be notified at the earliest opportunity.

_________________________________________________________

Brad Pit says Fatherhood is a true joy!

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Movies/07/18/people.pitt.ap/
<http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Movies/07/18/people.pitt.ap/> 

_________________________________________________________

A man who understood failure

by Bettina Arndt

From: Herald-Sun 
July 21, 2006

LAST Monday, the usual gathering of dog-walkers were wandering the
cliff-side park near Sydney's Clovelly beach.

But the peaceful early morning scene was disturbed by the arrival of
policemen who explained they were looking for a man with a baby.

As they peered over the cliff face to the rocks far below, they were
joined by the police helicopter, hovering along the rugged coast line.

Read the article below:
http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,19855485-5006029,00.html
<http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,19855485-5006029,00.html
> 

 

Editors note:

I personally met with John Perrin three times. I knew he was supportive
of fatherhood but not that supportive. Obviously Bettina Arnt knew him a
lot better.In my last conversation with him I asked if he had seen the
"I am sam" dvd I had given him. He told me he didn't have a dvd player.
He was genuinely thankfull. We salute John Perrin and the many others
who have worked on behalf of Australin fathers over the years.

Warwick Marsh

Fatherhood Foundation

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Dad's Prayer

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Dad_daughter_mum
.gif> 

 

Dear God

To be a Dad requires a great deal of wisdom 

especially when it comes to teaching 

about sex and self control.

Help me to practise what I preach

because what I say 

will then mean something

to my children.

Actions speak louder than words.

Help my actions and words harmonize together.

Only then will my children really listen to me.

Only then will they be able to hear my voice.

What I say must first be confirmed by what I do.

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us
<http://www.ausheart.com.au/fathers/about/index.html>  

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. 
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a   source
of harm. 

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in
fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible,
involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their
children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation
Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund 
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax
deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558 

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the
Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the
Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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