Subject: Journey to Greatness
From: <[email-masked]>
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Date: Sun, 13 Aug 2006 09:26:26 +1000

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Issue 207 - 14 th August, 2006 	Go to our website Here
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*	Hello Warwick
*	Grandads
*	Laughter
*	Single Dads 
*	All you need is Love
*	Thought of the Week
*	Special Feature
*	News & Info
*	Dad's Prayer
*	Help Us

Hello Warwick

 

 

 

 
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Many have wondered why the Fatherhood Foundation calls its Fatherhood
Mentoring Course 'Good to Great'? Isn't this some sort of overstated
hyperbole to rouse men up to attempt the impossible. The truth about
'attempting the impossible' is quite true. To be a truly great (perfect)
father is well nigh impossible considering the human condition. Jesus
said, "Call no man father on this earth for one is your (perfect) father
in heaven." In the next breath he said, "He that is greatest among you
will be your servant." I think that he was on to something. The
expectations our children have of us are well nigh impossible to
satisfy, but that should not stop us from attempting the journey to
greatness.

In many ways the inspiration for 'Good to Great' came from reading 'Good
to Great' by Jim Collins © 2001 Random House Publishers. 'Good to Great'
was on the New York Times bestseller list for many years. Having been
involved in business development and organisational structures, I have a
fascination with the process of management and the reasons behind
business success. 'Good to Great' is the best management book I have
ever read because it starts with reality and works back. Most management
books start with a theory and work forward. Author Jim Collins was bold
enough to ask a simple question,
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'Can a good company become a great company and, if so, how?" Jim Collins
and his 21 research associates examined 1,435 fortune 500 companies.
They then narrowed this list down to eleven companies and studied them
for five years. These eleven 'super companies' outperformed the market
by an average of 6.9 times over a 15 year period. In a corporate sense
this is bordering on the miraculous. It is easy to outperform the market
over a few years and then go broke in the third of fourth year, but to
do it over 15 years is simply amazing.

The first thing Jim Collins says in his book after his exhaustive
corporate study is that 'Good is an enemy of great!' The same goes for
fatherhood. To be a good father is easy. Most men are good fathers. In
order to become a great father, one must first decide to abandon just
being a good father (or should we say a mediocre father?) in order to be
great. Greatness is not a destination, it's a journey.

The most staggering thing that Jim Collins uncovers in research on the
CEOs of these 'Good to Great' companies is the one common ingredient he
found in the CEOs. He calls it Level 5 Leadership. All CEOs of the Good
to Great companies were humble men but were also intensely committed to
the cause of their companies success. All of them were true servant
leaders who gave the credit for their company's success to everyone but
themselves. Jim Collins lists many other reasons for corporate
greatness, but this is the one that surprised me the most, especially
the humility factor. I suppose I should not be surprised. After all the
greatest man that ever lived said, 'Whoever among you wants to be great
must become the servant of all.' Great dads are intensely committed to
their family's success but are also humble enough to admit their own
areas of need and failure in order to improve. The fact that you are a
weekly reader of fathersonline proves to me that you want to go to the
next level as a father - you are on the journey to greatness.
Congratulations! Keep up the great work.

Lovework

Improve your skills as a father. Read a book or do a
fatherhood/parenting course. You are never too young or too old to
learn. When we stop learning we start to die. 'Good to Great' by Jim
Collins is a great book on management and leadership. 'Fathering from
the Fast Lane' by Dr Bruce Robinson is a great book for fathers who want
to improve their fathering. Remember - Good is an enemy of Great. The
ball is in your court!

Yours for the journey to greatness

Warwick Marsh

PS If you would like some inspiration as a father and to find out more
about our 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course commencing on
Thursday 7th September 2006, please consider coming to our information
night this Thursday 17th August with Brigadier Jim Wallace speaking on
'Fatherhood, Leadership and the Secrets of Happy Families'. Details are
in the 'News & Info' section of fathersonline. We are also pleased to
announce that we are offering a Single Dads module in the 'Good to
Great' course. Full details can be found in the Single Dads section of
fathersonline. Our long term goal is to make these courses available
everywhere as funding comes in.

Please email [email-masked]  requesting the appropriate
application form. WM

 ________________________________________ 

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is 
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in 
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician, 
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he 
can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 

Speech at Australian Family Association Dinner (Pt1)

5th August 2006
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By Frank Devine

I speak to you this evening from the apex of the family pyramid.  I am a
grandfather.  This means I saw both 'Superman' and 'Pirates of the
Caribbean' during the school holidays.  

It also means I didn't need to make up my own jokes to start this
speech.  The world is awash with grandparent jokes.  They run the usual
joke gamut.  

I'll start with a couple of the cynical ones.

*     My grandmother is over 80 and doesn't need glasses.  She still
drinks straight from the bottle.

*    An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again.
Anything longer than that and you start to age quickly.

*     Then there's this bit of modified cynicism from Ogden Nash: Never
have children, only grandchildren.

An American comedian, Henny Youngman, adapted this by injecting some
warmth: If I'd known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren,
I'd have had them first.

Semi-finally there's one from Dave Barry: You don't really understand
something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.  

However, to make a really strong point about grandparents, let me tell
you about our family's favourite video. It's a genuine reality show and
only runs about a minute.  It was filmed opportunistically by somebody
taking family pictures in a park and being distracted by high drama on a
pedestrian crossing.
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The American friend who sent the video to us calls it 'Granny Rage'.

It starts with a little old lady pausing hesitantly on the edge of a
crosswalk.  She may have dozed off a little. A brutish motorist blows
his horn at her.  Loudly! The little old lady jerks to attention and
steps out on to the pedestrian crossing. She is not a fast walker.  The
driver blows his horn again.  The little old lady bangs the front of his
car with her handbag.  She has a beautifully controlled backswing and a
powerful follow through.  The impact of her handbag on the front of the
car causes the emergency airbag to explode in the driver's lap.  The
denouement comes in the video's soundtrack.  The little old lady resumes
crossing the road and you hear her going: "Heh, heh, heh, heh."
(http://media.skoopy.com/vids/vid_00782.wmv
<http://media.skoopy.com/vids/vid_00782.wmv>  )

This demonstrates the essential character of grandparents.  We are
really tough guys.  Goad us at your peril!  

We need to be tough guys. If we are fully engaged in grandparenthood, it
probably means we have forsaken the comfort of being cool and risked
ourselves in the blazing furnace of marriage.  It also means that we
have become sufficiently tempered in the heat to cope with the
sinew-wrenching task of raising children to adulthood.

More than that, we have probably shown sufficient signs of enjoying this
central struggle on the battlefield of marriage, for our children to
want to have a go at doing the same.  I realise this is a rather linear
generational scan, and based on a number of unargued assumptions.
However, there are several studies indicating that, among the
separations divorce brings about, is often the separation of
grandchildren from at least one set of grandparents.

This is no way to treat kids and grandparents who have put in a lifetime
of effort, not to mention sitting through 'Superman' and 'Pirates of the
Caribbean'.

______________________________________________________

Frank Devine is a well known columnist.  He has been married to
Jacqueline for many years, has three daughters and four grandchildren.

______________________________________________________

The fathersonline is always in need of articles for our Grandads
section.  The next generation needs to hear from you.  How about you put
pen to paper and write about your experiences.  Please send articles and
photos to:

[email-masked] 

or

Fatherhood Foundation

PO Box 440

Wollongong  NSW  2520

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Laughter

 
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Now I lay me down to sleep, 
I pray my sanity to keep. 
For if some peace I do not find, 
I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind. 

I pray I find a little quiet 
Far from the daily family riot 
May I lie back--not have to think 
about what they're stuffing down the sink, 
or who they're with, or where they're at 
and what they're doing to the cat. 

I pray for time all to myself 
(did something just fall off a shelf?) 
To cuddle in my nice, soft bed 
(Oh no, another goldfish--dead!) 

Some silent moments for goodness sake 
(Did I just hear a window break?) 
And that I need not cook or clean-- 
(well heck, I've got the right to dream) 

Yes now I lay me down to sleep, 
I pray my wits about me keep, 
But as I look around I know-- 
I must have lost them long ago!

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Single Dads 

 

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'Good to Great' for Single Dads

by Warwick Marsh

The 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course for the 21st Century was
originally designed for fathers of intact families, to strengthen their
relationships and help fathers go to the next level of excellence in
fathering.  Single Fathers face many challenges, not the least being a
'system' that tends to be very cruel to the male of the species.  The
Fatherhood Foundation has long recognised the many difficulties faced by
single fathers.  The variables are immense.  

On the one hand single dads have total custody of their children when
they find themselves widowed by the passing of their wives.  These men
face a unique set of challenges, one of which is to find female input
for their children, whether girls or boys.  Children need male and
female input and attention in order to receive a good gender balance as
they grow up.

On the other hand, some lucky divorced fathers achieve a 50/50 shared
parenting arrangement - the best way for continued father and mother
involvement in a child's life.  Sadly other single dads are relegated to
every second weekend and half the school holidays.  Some are almost
totally cut off from their children lives, which is a tragedy beyond
comprehension for all concerned.  The very complexity of running a
course for single dads has prevented it in the past, when we consider
the many variables that single fathers face.

The Fatherhood Foundation is pleased to announce that there is now a
Single Dads Module in our existing 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring
Course.

'Good to Great' for Single Fathers will feature a unique session in Week
5 specifically for single dads with Tony Miller, Dads in Distress:
www.dadsindistress.asn.au  and Barry Williams, Lone Fathers Association:
www.lonefathers.com.au   Tony Miller has 5 children and is the first to
admit that he has made mistakes as a dad, but he is one of the most
devoted fathers I know.  When I first approached him to speak at our
course he said, "Sorry Warwick, I can't do it because that's my week
with my son." My brain-wave of giving Tony and his son a bit of a break
in sunny Wollongong caused him to reconsider our invitation.  Tony loves
his children and even though he is separated, his goal is to put them
first.  

Barry William's story is similar.  When he was a truck driver he left
his job so that he could look after his children when his wife left him.
Barry used to shoot rabbits to feed his young family and tried his best
to keep his children in relationship with their mother even though he
was the primary caregiver.

Tony Miller and Barry Williams are just two of the great father figures
who are helping the broken hearted single dads of Australia.  Many men
have contemplated suicide and sadly large numbers have been successful
in their choice.  Many more would have died had not Tony and Barry
sacrificed their own lives and dedicated themselves to helping others.

Being a great father is all about sacrifice and going the extra mile for
the ones you love.  Being a great father is also all about speaking
words of encouragement and love to your family in the most difficult
times.  That's what leadership is all about and 'Good to Great' is all
about developing great leaders. We know that distance alone will prevent
many single fathers from being able to attend our first 'Good to Great'
for Single Fathers at our Wollongong Campus, but perhaps you can help us
in other ways.  The Fatherhood Foundation does not receive any
government funding.  Perhaps you can subsidise another father to attend,
or maybe you could pass this information on to other single dads who
might be interested and able to attend.

Whatever the case, let us continue to work together to encourage fathers
and make Australia a better place for our children.

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All you need is Love

A Good Husband is a Rare Species

by Ellen Connoly

Daily Telegraph 6th August 2006
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AN Australian study has found what many women may already know: a really
good husband is rare.

Despite the media image of the "new father'' who shares housework and
child-rearing equally, this is not the "grassroots reality'', Sydney
University researchers have concluded. 

While families talk of "equality and choice'' researcher Professor
Raewynn Connell said women were still accountable for the housework and
the welfare of the children.

"The really good husband is rare,'' the study found. 

The joint university and government initiative, titled A Really Good
Husband, surveyed 10 work sites in Australia's public sector over 18
months. 

It also conducted 107 interviews with men and with women. 

The domestic situations were diverse, including nuclear families, single
parents, couples with two full-time jobs and those with house-husbands. 

It found that women do most, if not all, of the domestic work. And
despite more than 30 years of feminism, women also believed it was their
responsibility. 

One woman interviewed said: "A really good husband is a husband who
eases the load.'' 

Another said: "There's never any time, really, which I just have for
myself. Still it's what you do, isn't it? My husband, he's very good,
helps out a lot.'' 

But it's not all bad news for women. There has been some compromise in
most households, particularly those where young men support gender
equality. 

"I do housework. I wash-up and put the washing on at the weekend,'' one
man said. "It mightn't be 50/50 but I do contribute.'' 

Kim Jones, 34, is one of the lucky ones. Her husband, Andrew, is a
stay-at-home dad who "does everything'' for their two children. 

"He's incredible. He does the housework, cooking and mother's group,''
Ms Jones, a real estate director, said. 

The study also sought to answer: how do we get more "really good''
husbands? 

One respondent was a mother who said she was teaching her sons
housework.

"I see it as a mother's role to train her sons,'' she said. "Otherwise,
you are just perpetuating a nation of male chauvinist whatevers.'' 

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Thought of the Week

 
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Good is the enemy of Great

Jim Collins

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Special Feature

Good to Great
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jpg> 

Excerpt from book by Jim Collins © 2001 Random House Publishers

Good is the enemy of great.

And that is one of the key reasons why we have so little that becomes
great.

We don't have great schools, principally because we have good schools.
We don't have great government, principally because we have good
government.  Few people attain great lives, in large part because it is
just so easy to settle for a good life.  The vast majority of companies
never become great, precisely because the vast majority become quite
good - and that is their main problem . . .

Level 5 Leadership

We were surprised, shocked really, to discover the type of leadershi0p
required for turning a good company into a great one.  Compared to
high-profile leaders with big personalities who make headlines and
become celebrities, the good-to-great leaders seem to have come from
Mars.  Self-effacing, quiet, reserved, even shy - these leaders are a
paradoxical blend of personal humility and professional will.  They are
more like Lincoln and Socrates than Patton or Caesar.

First Who . . . Then What

Confront the Brutal Facts (Yet Never Lose Faith)

The Hedgehog Concept (Simplicity within the Three Circles)

A Culture of Discipline

Technology Accelerators

The Flywheel and the Doom Loop

From Good to Great to Built to Last

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News & Info

 

 

 

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________________________

Letters

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

Your email for the latest Newsletter from the Fatherhood Foundation just
arrived this morning.  I really and truly enjoy stopping whatever I'm
doing to read your latest offering.  The sacrifice you put into
publishing this is well worth it for the results - very relevant,
enjoyable and thought provoking articles and challenges to the readers.
Congratulations and keep them coming.  

You are a blessing to all of us readers.

Keep on keeping on, with love,

Chris 

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Dad's Prayer

 

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Dear God

Help me follow in your son's footsteps.

After all he did say,

'Whoever among you wants to be great,

must become the servant of all.'

The only problem is, I hate serving.

Couldn't we do it some other way?

I mean I would certainly like to keep
a little bit of pride.

You must know the song, 'O Lord it's 
hard to be humble'?

Okay, if there is no other way,

I'll give it a try!

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us
<http://www.ausheart.com.au/fathers/about/index.html>  

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. 
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a   source
of harm. 

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in
fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible,
involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their
children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation
Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund 
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax
deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558 

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the
Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the
Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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