Subject: History of Father's Day
From: <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 27 Aug 2006 07:49:54 +1000

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Issue 209 - 28 th August, 2006 	Go to our website Here
<http://www.fathersonline.org/> 	 
 
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*	Hello Warwick
*	Grandads
*	Laughter
*	Single Dads 
*	All you need is Love
*	Thought of the Week
*	Special Feature
*	News & Info
*	Dad's Prayer
*	Help Us

Hello Warwick

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Fathers-day_2.jp
g> Well, well, well, it's that time of year again.  Father's Day is next
Sunday, 3rd September here in Australia.  We all know that Father's Day
is close because of all the adverts for tools coming on our television
and filling our mailbox.  

How did it all start?

It actually started with a woman.  Sonora Louise Smart Dodd, first
conceived the idea of a Father's Day while listening to a Mother's Day
sermon.  Mother's Day was first celebrated by the ancient Greeks and
then again in 17th Century England as Mothering Sunday.  In the USA Anne
Jarvis revitalised the concept during the American Civil War and it was
eventually officially made a holiday in the early 1900s.

Sonora Smart Dodd wanted to honour her father, William Smart, who was a
veteran of the Civil War, and a very devoted father.  When his wife died
in childbirth with their sixth child, Mr Smart was left to raise the
newborn and his other five children by himself on a rural farm in
Spokane, Washington.  It was only when Mrs Dodd became an adult that she
realised the strength and selflessness her father had shown in raising
his children as a single dad.

The first Father's Day was celebrated on 19 June, 1910 in Spokane,
Washington.  In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a
national Father's Day.  In 1936 a National Father's Day Committee was
formed.  In 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential
proclamation declaring the third Sunday of June, Father's Day.
President Nixon followed that up by making Father's Day a permanent
national holiday.  People in the USA & UK celebrate Father's Day on the
third Sunday of June, while in Australia it is held on the first Sunday
in September.  The concept of Father's Day has spread right across the
world to the point where most countries celebrate this time to honour
and appreciate fathers.

In many cases market forces have taken over Father's Day as just another
excuse to sell more socks and undies.  I might point out that many men
appreciate these presents (how else do they stock up on such
essentials?)  The challenge before us is to not let the market demean
the true spirit of the day itself.  Men as fathers make a wonderful
contribution to families.  I once asked a young girl why she thought
fathers were important.  Her simple but profound answer was one I'll
never forget.  "If we didn't have fathers, mothers couldn't have
babies'. 

This brings me to my next point.  Fathers and mothers, and the
relationship they are able to enjoy and sustain are the key to happy
families.  Last Wednesday, I had the privilege of attending a round
table in Sydney on marriage, hosted by Byron and Francine Pirola from
www.celebratelove.com  There was representation from Federal Parliament,
the media, Relationships Australia and the who's who of the
marriage/family movement.  Professor Bill Doherty and his wife were
major contributors to this exciting time of discussion.  Almost everyone
agreed that there is a desperate need to encourage marriage as a means
to encourage family.  In my contribution I mentioned the need for more
people like USA's Diane Sollee from www.smartmarriages.com
<http://www.smartmarriages.com/>   to stand up and be counted in the
fight to restore honour to marriage, fatherhood and motherhood for the
families of Australia..

Perhaps there is a lesson here for us as men: how important and valuable
is the contribution made by the women of the world in supporting us as
fathers? 

Lovework
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/dad_kids.jpg> 

Practice saying, "What a beautiful pair of socks", or "Just what I
needed, another pair of undies."

Enjoy Father's Day.  It's your celebration.  Have fun with your family,
make it a special day, (leave this newsletter on the desktop for all to
read).  Don't forget there wouldn't be any fathers without mothers.

 

Yours for more socks

Warwick Marsh
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/socks.jpg> 

PS Enquiries are coming in thick and fast from all over Australia
regarding the 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course.  Keep them
coming!!! Our goal is to make this course available on DVD as we train
'Good to Great' facilitators all over Australia who have a heart for the
restoration of fatherhood.  

We encourage any of our readers who would like to financially help other
fathers complete the course.  Help us to help other dads through
sponsorship.  We would also greatly appreciate your financial help to
make the course available on DVD.  We don't have the money to complete
this project, but we are moving ahead in faith, believing that the money
will come in as we move forward, trusting in our heavenly Father's
goodness.

 ________________________________________ 

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is 
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in 
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician, 
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he 
can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/drinking%20water
.jpg> You don't need to be right all the time.

Your child wants a man for a father, not a formula.

He wants real parents, real people,

capable of making mistakes

without moping about it.

C.D. Williams

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Laughter

 

Swear To Tell the Truth
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/bushpinocchio.gi
f> 

Now why am I not surprised with this one....

Below are excerpts from a court reporter: Do You Swear To Tell the
Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth?

These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts", and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
these exchanges were actually taking place.  You have to get this book.

 ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
 WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________

 ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
 WITNESS: July 18th.
 ATTORNEY: What year?
 WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________

  ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at  all?
 WITNESS: Yes.
 ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
 WITNESS: I forget.
 ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?
____________________________________

 ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
 WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
 ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
 WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________

 ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
morning?
 WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
 ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
 WITNESS: My name is Susan.
______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo?
 WITNESS: We both do.
 ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
 WITNESS: We do.
 ATTORNEY: You do?
 WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
 WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________

 ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
 WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________________________________________

  ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
 WITNESS: Yes.
 ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
 WITNESS: Uh....
______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
 WITNESS: Yes.
 ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
 WITNESS: None.
 ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

_____________________________________

 ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
 WITNESS: By death.
 ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
 WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
 ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
 WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
 WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
 WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
 ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
 WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was  doing an
autopsy on him!
______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: So, then, it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
 WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
 ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
 WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.

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Single Dads 

 

 

Death Can Show us the Way

By Tony Miller

I came home from Cairns to a message left by my 11 year old son on the
answering machine. 'Dad, remember Ken Wilson the guy you told me about
who died in that car accident on the highway. Well it's the anniversary
of the accident on Thursday. You told me to remind you, say a prayer for
him dad, I will, love ya dad..........'

I didn't expect the message and have to admit I was a little surprised
that he remembered. It was a quite a few years ago that I was driving
down to the Central Coast from Coffs Harbour to see Ken Ticehurst MP for
Dobell. I had an appointment with him to explain what our group was
about and to discuss the issue of 5 males suiciding every day in this
country. I wanted to enlist his help in combating the tragedy on the
Central Coast. I hadn't met Ken before so didn't know quite what to
expect.
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/car%20accident.j
pg> 

On my way there I was travelling down the highway thinking of the
impending meeting when out of nowhere from my left came a car that
looked as though it was doing 150kms an hour and ploughed straight into
the side of a car travelling directly in front of me. The impact pushed
both cars into a rollover and straight down a slight embankment in the
middle of the highway. Pieces of metal and plastic went flying
everywhere. I was a few seconds behind the car that was hit. I pulled
over and rushed down to the car that was hit grabbing my mobile. I got
to the first car and the two occupants a male and female were climbing
out already. Bloody and bruised at least they were on their feet I
thought. 'What the hell, happened?' they mumbled walking in circles in a
daze. 'Are you OK, are you OK?' I frantically asked. 'Yes, Yes, I think
so' the male said. 'Did you see that?' he said. 'Yes I saw everything,
you are lucky to be alive.' I quickly raced over to the car that came
tearing out from the side street. There was no movement from the two
occupants. The car was a mess, there was smoke billowing from the
engine. The driver, a big man I guess in his 60's was unconscious, so
was the female occupant who I surmised was probably his wife sitting
next to him. I couldn't get the door open it was so badly smashed in. I
reached into the driver's window and fumbled looking for the ignition
switch, which was pushed down near the floor. I found it and turned the
engine off, I was scared it would catch fire and I wouldn't be able to
get them out.

I got on my mobile and called 000.  I stayed next to the car just
patting the driver on the shoulder telling him to, 'Hang in there mate,
help is on the way'.

What seemed like forever, but was probably not, the police arrived.
Ambulance and rescue are on the way he told me. Just keep doing what
your doing mate, you're doing a good job. 'Should we try and get them
out?' I asked. 'No mate, the ambos and rescue will look after that', he
said

So nervously I stayed there, just reassuring this guy and the lady
sitting unconscious next to him that they would be ok. The policeman was
walking back and forth making sure the other couple were OK and then
coming back to me, 'You're doing a good job mate, just stay with them if
you can', he said. I didn't know what to do other than talk to them and
utter a few faint prayers to the good Lord asking that He look after
them. I felt pretty useless. I kept telling them they would be OK. I was
drawn to keep squeezing the old guy's arm, reassuring him. He seemed to
be in a worse condition than the woman. I doubted whether they could
hear me but something just kept drawing me to repeat myself.

Finally the rescue crowd arrived and I was relieved to be ushered back
to my car while they took over. The policeman came over and spoke to me
while I was rolling a smoke leaning against my car watching the rescue
crowd do their work. 'Are you OK?' he asked. 'Yeah sure', I said, not
really believing myself. As he was getting the details of what had
unfolded I saw them throw a blanket over the driver's body. 'Sh*t, he
was breathing a minute ago', I exclaimed to the cop. 'I thought he would
make it', I said sadly. 'See it all the time, mate, tragic isn't it?' he
replied. 'Are you OK', he asked again. 'Yeah, I'm OK, I said.

After taking my details and description of what happened, I left the cop
a 'dids' business card and continued on my journey. I got thinking about
the poor old guy and I guessed that he was a dad. I started to wonder
how his kids were going to take the news. It wasn't long before I had
tears rolling down my face and pulled over. I immediately rang my dad,
told him what had happened and more importantly told him I loved him.
With the thought of 'it could of been my dad', I continued on my
journey.

A few weeks later I received a call from the guy's son who tearfully
tried to thank me for offering assistance to his mum and dad. 'Mum is
still in hospital but she will be OK. Dad apparently had a heart attack
at the wheel before flying out onto the highway. He was a good man,
loved by many, thank you', he said between the tears.

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/cross%20on%20roa
d.jpg> The accident happened where the Bullocky Way meets the highway
near Taree. I travel the highway often and ever since the accident I
always stop there to have a smoke and have a talk to Ken. They put up a
white cross on the corner opposite where the accident happened. It has a
plaque with his name on it. Often I roll a smoke for him. I don't know
if he was a smoker but I leave one stuck in a cable tie that is attached
to the cross, just in case. It was on one of these journeys that I had
my little boy with me and when he enquired what I was doing I related
the above story to him. I was unaware that he noted the date on the
cross and hence the phone message . . .  I guess Ken's death touched him
too . . .  I'm proud of my little boy, he has found heart . . . 

I often ask the good Lord that if there is a space designated for me up
there, 'Well do ya reckon you could fit Ken into mine?' I seem to ask
the Lord that a lot especially with the tragic cases I see day in day
out. I figure the amount of time I have asked him to squeeze someone in,
that by the time I get there, and if I do, I will be sleeping outside.
Well let's just hope he has got a big place................

Death can show us the way, for when we know and understand completely
that our time on this earth is limited, and that we have no way of
knowing when it will be over, then we must live each day as if it were
the only one we had.......Elisabeth Kubler-Ross 1926

Footnote: I eventually got to my appointment late that same day with Ken
Ticehurst MP who took my concerns to Allan Cadman MP and who both raised
the issue in Parliament. Ken tells me it was that meeting that got the
ball rolling which eventually led to 'Every picture Tells A Story' the
report on the inquiry into child custody arrangements in the event of
family separation.
Dads in Distress

[email-masked]

www.dadsindistress.asn.au <http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/>  

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All you need is Love

SAVE YOUR ENERGY AND SANITY: 

JUST STAY FAITHFUL: 

'JUST WITH YOU'

Cristina Odone

Sunday August 20, 2006
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/sexual%20disease
s.jpg> 

The Observer (London)

Monogamy has much to offer. We should trumpet its benefits far more
loudly in sex-education classes and teen magazines. The chastity pledge
'Just say no' has failed to catch on; 'Just with you' should be an
easier sell.

Syphilis is back. Chlamydia is out of control. Sexually transmitted
infections went up 20 per cent between 2000 and 2004. This time, though,
the epidemic of venereal diseases is not limited to youngsters raging
with their hormones and against authority.

Increasingly, their mothers and fathers are victims, too. The number of
syphilis cases treated among women aged 45 to 64 is up sixteen-fold
since 1996; incidences of gonorrhoea have more than doubled.

Who should we blame for this new trend? An urban myth dating back to the
Seventies is of middle-class, wife-swapping sessions where men throw
their car keys into a bowl and women pick a set at random and go off
with the owner. But now, there are swinging singles parties, gaining new
popularity among divorcees, with condomless sex as an added thrill.

There are few statistics for this kind of carrying on, but we do know
that there is a cure for the diseases acquired by those who dabble in
such unhealthy promiscuity: monogamy.

The serial shagger has long been a favourite in fiction: from Fielding's
Tom Jones to Fleming's James Bond, the playboy's lineage is long and
entertaining. Even in more feminist times, writers such as Rod Liddle
and Nirpal Singh Dhaliwal, or Guy Blews, author of the newly published
Marriage and How to Avoid it, tirelessly trot out the line that men are
not meant for monogamy.

In so doing, they give fidelity a killjoy reputation, portraying it as a
recipe for boredom and an excuse for a low libido. According to these
men, a faithful husband is bound to develop an unhealthy interest in
your daughter's teenage friends or an obsession with internet porn.

And yet. Think of Paul McCartney before the debacle with Heather Mills.
One of the reasons for his iconic status was his famously monogamous
relationship with Linda. A big part of David Cameron's appeal is his
radiant uxoriousness, something that once stoked the stardom of the
young Tony Blair.

Consider Paul Newman, married for more than 40 years to Joanne Woodward,
and Patrick Swayze, still married to his childhood sweetheart: these
actors seem a lot more appealing than, say, Jeremy Irons with his
famously open marriage to Sinead Cusack.

Monogamy is, most appealingly, an energy-saving device which prevents
you wasting time and effort on hunting new prey, deceiving a partner or
curing a broken heart or bruised ego.

Preserve trust in this essential area of your life and you can reap
tremendous rewards: the 100 per cent devotion of another human being
fuels your ambition, supports you in your mission and helps you to
overcome obstacles.

Monogamy has much to offer. We should trumpet its benefits far more
loudly in sex-education classes and teen magazines. The chastity pledge
'Just say no' has failed to catch on; 'Just with you' should be an
easier sell.

But how are we going to make monogamy a turn-on for grown-ups? Perhaps
we should leave that to the researchers charting the rise in blindness,
infertility, jaundice and genital warts that accompanies sexually
transmitted disease.

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Thought of the Week

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/dad_son%20arguin
g.jpg> 

By the time a man realises 

that maybe his father was right,

he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.

Charles Wadworth

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Special Feature

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/male%20depressio
n.jpg> Postpartum Depression Hits Dads, Too

By Ed Edelson

HealthDay News- 7th August 2006

Almost as many new fathers as mothers suffer depression after the birth
of a child, a new study shows. About 14 percent of mothers and 10
percent of fathers showed signs of moderate or severe postpartum
depression, according to the study, which followed more than 5,000
members of two-parent families.

"There have been a few small studies in the last two years showing this,
but nothing has been known on a national basis," said study leader James
F. Paulson, an assistant professor of paediatrics and psychology and
behavioural sciences at the Eastern Virginia Medical School Center for
Pediatric Research.

The findings are published in the August issue of Pediatrics.

New parents who participated in the study filled out questionnaires and
were interviewed to determine whether they showed symptoms of
depression. Their relationships with their children were determined by
questioning such practices as breast-feeding, putting the child to bed
on his or her back, and whether the parents read to, played peek-a-boo
with or sang to the child

"What we found in this study is that basic day-to-day interactions were
impaired in fathers, just as they were in mothers," Paulson said. "Also,
basic activities were impaired." Paediatricians should make a greater
effort to identify postpartum depression in both mothers and fathers,
Paulson said. "Paediatricians, in general, may be in the best position
to catch depression, but they don't often do it," he said, adding he's
now doing a study to look at patterns of screening for postpartum
depression.

Dr. William Coleman is a professor of paediatrics at the University of
North Carolina and chairman of the American Academy of Pediatrics
committee on the psychosocial aspects of child and family health.
"Physicians do a very poor job asking about or detecting postpartum
blues in the mother, and they may not even see the father," he said.
"They might detect the mother's feelings, but may not even ask the
father."

Fathers usually feel elation after a birth, Coleman said, but that
feeling of "engrossment" can fade away, depending on family
circumstances. That can happen "if the mother is very, very controlling
and wants the baby all to herself," Coleman said. "Also, fathers can
experience frustration, sexual and emotional, if they forget to remember
that the wife is not interested in sex at that time. If the wife is very
motherly and maternal, he might feel kind of useless, on the periphery."

Depression in a father leads to a well-known pattern of behaviour,
Coleman said. "He tends to work longer, to watch sports more, to drink
more and be solitary," he said. One problem in detecting postpartum
depression in fathers is that paediatricians are not told to inquire
about adult issues," Coleman said. "It is a silent game." Yet, it's
important to detect postpartum depression in a father for the sake of
the child's long-term outlook, Paulson said. "Based on what we know of
mothers' postpartum depression, it is associated with health problems
later on, not only emotional problems and difficulties adjusting to
school but also basic health problems," he said.

More information

For more on postpartum depression, visit the U.S. National Library of

Medicine.Copyright © 2006 HealthDay. All rights reserved.

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News & Info

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/man_reading_news
paper.gif> 

 TRAINING COURSES

Code  WWM 3

 Working with Men Accredited Course

 Wednesday, Thursday, Friday 20,21,22 September & 15,16,17 November 2006
from 9.30am to 4.30pm

          North Parramatta

 

Code  EIT 16

Hey, Dad for Separated Fathers Facilitator Training

Wednesday, Thursday 25,26 October 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm

North Parramatta

Code  EIT 17

Fathers' Matters Program - Facilitator Training for an Intensive  Group
Program

Monday, Tuesday 4&5 December 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm

At Macarthur

To register:    To obtain an application form for this training, call
Maureen Micallef at Burnside on 02 9768 6811 or email
[email-masked]  or visit the web site www.burnside.org.au
<http://www.burnside.org.au/>   and follow the prompts to Resources and
Training

________________________________________________________

Good to Great Mentoring Course 

will be running for 10 weeks from:

7th September 2006 - 16th November 2006

It includes many activities for dads and their families.

Cost of the course is $250.00 which includes a course manual and a copy
of the book, 

'Fathering from the Fast Lane'.

For more information please contact:

Fatherhood Foundation

[email-masked] 

PO Box 440

Wollongong  NSW  2520

02 4272 6677

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Age (Melbourne) 
Little custom for new family centres 
Just one person a day is visiting each of the federal government's
much-vaunted new Family Relationship Centres, and only three are phoning
in directly for advice. 
Read more
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news511.html
<http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news511.html>  

_______________________________________________________

Letters

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

Thanks again for the weekly bulletin, I enjoy and look forward to each
edition.

I would like to comment on one article. 

I refer to the sad story of single father John Murtari. Unfortunately,
because there is a communication breakdown in almost all such cases
there can only be one side represented, often the most important person
in the tragedy, the child, ignored as well.

I am not commenting without experience, having had frustrating dealings
with child support agencies. The frustrations are compounded when the
man feels that he is unfairly assessed, that he has no control over the
money paid, sees no value for the money he pays, and  receives a rough
deal regarding his access rights.

However the John Murtari article is a series of injustices directed to
the father.  A brief note about the breakdown in the relationship with
his son is the only consideration of the boy.

No doubt there are injustices in this case, but each party must fulfil
their legal and ethical obligations. For whatever reason John Murtari is
paying child support of $50 per month. How does he expect, for a start,
any appeal process to take him seriously, and how does he expect the
boy's mother to care for him on $50 per month. How does he expect the
boy's mother to support a healthy father / son relationship when all
financial help from him is done reluctantly, and via the legal process.

I am sure John thinks he is a good father. However it is not difficult
to imagine the mother, financially destitute, on hunger strike, in
protest at a system that delivers her $50 per month. I think it's quite
probable that the boy knows that his dad is in gaol for refusing to
support him, not a good state for protecting a relationship.  

I urge fathers in a family breakdown situation to accept that the parent
giving day-to-day care for the child is entitled to financial support.
This acceptance is not a belief that the non-custodian is able to
allocate funds as he or she sees fit. In John Murtari's case it is
simply not his decision to allocate financial support payments, as he
sees fit, toward covering travelling costs.

Sadly, it seems commonplace for fathers to spend lavishly on their
children during access visits, while the mother struggles every day
because of limited support.

It also seems common that child support and access to children are
somehow intimately related, the reward for payment is access and vice
versa. They are not, both parents have rights and responsibilities that
are not in any way tradeable.

Peter Ferguson

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

Mike McManus-excellent article The Need for Shared Parenting, FF
Newsletter, 21 Aug 2006, once again highlights the systemic abuse of
good fathers by the Family Law system.

The treatment that prisoner John Murtari is receiving is nothing short
of disgraceful. I wonder how many readers are appalled by John Murtari's
mistreatment in the land that holds that all men are -endowed by their
Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life,
Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness!

Several hundred thousand good men in Australia, including myself, have
suffered similar abuse by the Family Law system while good men and women
looked on and did nothing. There were no rallies or marches with
politicians across the Harbour Bridge to support us. Neither were there
prayer vigils or mass demonstrations around the country.

We were cowered and beaten. No one cared except for our fellow victims
and our mothers if we had one. Legislators, human rights lawyers and
churchmen ignored us. We didn't fit the required stereotype. 

Human rights abuses of good fathers continue. We don't choose to be
access fathers. All we ask is to be allowed to share the responsibility
of raising our children without going to court and without having to
fork out money we don't have to unscrupulous lawyers.  

And we want is to share the responsibility equally of supporting our
children. Where unequal parenting time cannot be avoided we want the
parents to negotiate a financial agreement.  Get rid of the CSA. Get rid
of the Parkinson formula. It is pathetic. A good starting point is half
the cost of consumables, including food, energy, childcare, clothing and
school expenses actually incurred by the higher resident parent for the
extra days. 

I will present this formula and debate it with anyone, anywhere.

Yours sincerely

Ian Windsor

[email-masked] 

http://www.windsorparalegal.com.au/ 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

Have been following the good work you've been doing via the Fatherhood
Foundation newsletter.

Congratulations on securing DGR status with the ATO. 

I can identify with this week's cited article on single fathers from the
US.  It is difficult when you have the system against you.  

Despite the latest legislative changes family court judges can still
fall on the old line of children's interests as a defence when granting
majority of time with the mother.  In my case, I have much evidence of
alienation to present before the court, but fear that it will not be of
sufficient weight to ensure that we have a shared parenting regime.  Our
court expert report failed to dig below the surface but simply stated
interview comments from the parents and children.  The question as to
why certain attitudes are present was not properly explored.

It could be a bit like the John Howard and Peter Costello squabble.  Few
doubt that Costello was correct, but with pragmatism and public profile
being the leading determinant, Costello faced little prospect of
advancing his leadership credentials.  Thankfully, we can have two
parents engaging in shared parenting, but when the ex spouse does
everything possible to sabotage this it can be difficult to have the
court overlook the entrenched benefit and focus on the benefits.

I am expecting a Call over in the next month, and hopefully will have a
trial by Christmas.  Regardless of the outcome, at least my children
will know in future years that I have explored all avenues to try and
ensure that they can experience growing up with Mum and Dad.

Anyway, I am but one, though no less important, statistic in the annals
of the Family Court.  The work you are engaged in to encourage,
challenge, prevent, rescue, men in marriage, single parenting, and
fatherhood is a much needed one in Australia.  Your vision is grand, but
the labourers and resources are few.

(Name withheld)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

The SA Govt has defunded the Men's Information and Support Centre
[MISC]. To cover its costs, for the past year, the agency received funds
from several Depts, to a total of $27,000. The SA Govt claims MISC
failed to provide certain services, and also failed to fully account for
funds provided, in previous years. What exactly was done or not done, by
previous management of MISC may emerge over time. What is certain, is
that the present manager of MISC, works at least 60 hours a week for no
renumeration! That is not the issue I wish to address.

It was the claim by government, of the other services on offer to men,
that is a cause for grave concern. Men's Line Australia, was mentioned,
this is an admirable and necessary service, the trouble is, it's a voice
on the end of a phone, where does a man go to see a friendly and
understanding face? 

Even more concerning was the suggestion that they use Relationships
Australia, whatever it's past merits may have been, it is an
organisation that has lost the trust of many men. Whatever the truth may
be, it is perceived by a growing number of men to now be heavily
feminised, as such it has limited  value to them.

To have any hope of assisting a person, one must first be able to
effectively communicate with them, this requires that they trust you.
This was where MISC provided such a valuable service.

The real problem faced by the Govt of SA is a financial one, the state
budget was deferred until September. One suspects the Govts problem was
caused by the hiring of thousands of additional public servants {some no
doubt actually needed}, this would have greatly increased the wages
bill, no doubt other community service agencies have, or will suffer
funding cutoffs or restrictions 

In times of financial stringency, traditionally the areas first marked
for Govt cuts, are what they view as "soft spending", read community
grants as one example. With men dying 5 years earlier than women, and
with them suiciding at over 4 times the rate of women, these cuts send a
clear message, as to the value, the SA Govt accords to men, those guys
who pay the largest proportion of its tax receipts! In short, it seems
that men are a soft spending optional extra .

An idea of the states priority, may be gained by comparing, the
resources it provides to women. There are at least 10 Govt full time
positions, allocated to women's services within the public service,
there appears to be one half time position allocated for men. On the
monetary front at least 1 million dollars was allocated to women's
services, compare that to MISCs funding. I think the govt is unlikely to
change its decision now, too much loss of political face, as it has
publicly put its position re MISC.

In light of the lamentable lack of appropriate services for men in
crisis, it does the govt no credit to ignore the issues that some men
face. It is still within the power of the govt to address the issue, an
appropriate, and I stress that word, service needs to be funded, and to
an amount greatly in excess of what had been allocated to MISC.

The Pallbearer. 

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Dad's Prayer

 

 
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Dear God

The Chinese have a saying:

'To understand your parents' love

you must raise children yourself.'

Help me appreciate my own parents 

this Father's Day,

so that when my children appreciate me

I understand that I am only passing on

what I have been given.

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The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. 
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a   source
of harm. 

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in
fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible,
involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their
children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation
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