Subject: Fathers Setting Goals
From: <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 10 Sep 2006 08:25:12 +1000

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Issue 211 - 11 th September, 2006 	Go to our website Here
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*	Hello Warwick
*	Grandads
*	Laughter
*	Single Dads 
*	All you need is Love
*	Thought of the Week
*	Special Feature
*	News & Info
*	Dad's Prayer
*	Help Us

Hello Warwick

 

If we are going to be successful as a father to
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/dad_daughter%206
.jpg> our family, we have to set goals.  Before we can set goals we must
first dream about the future and develop a plan of action on how to get
there.  My good friend, Mark Sewell, says it this way, "To set goals we
must first have a vision. It is very hard to separate values from
vision."  In fact most corporate Mission Statements include Values /
Beliefs / Philosophy next to their corporate purpose. We at the
Fatherhood Foundation believe the same.  Integrity is everything!

There is enormous pressure on marriages and families today, and that is
why it is so important for every man in consultation with his wife and
family to develop a Family Mission Statement that includes the following
aspects: vision, purpose, outcomes and values.  I tend to throw them all
together and call them goals because they all have bearing on your
forward motion.

Zig Ziglar, in his book 'Success for Dummies', tells of a story about an
8 year old boy who wanted to be the Prime Minister of England.  He
imagined himself as the Prime Minister and even had his picture taken as
a schoolboy standing in front of Number Ten Downing Street.  Becoming
Prime Minister was not only his goal, but he could also envision himself
as Prime Minister of England - and yes, his name was Harold Wilson.
(Prime Minister of England for almost 8 years)  

Zig Ziglar goes on to say, 'According to William James, the father of
American psychology, the attitude that you have in approaching an
objective is the single most important factor determining whether you
reach that objective.  I like what Bishop Fulton J. Sheen said about how
attitudes relate to goals: "When we walk towards the light, the shadow
will always follow, but when we walk away from the light, the shadow is
always in front of us." . . Sheen is on to something - he's absolutely
right.  Discouragement is a tremendous factor in the lives of many
people, particularly those who strive with all their might and see
little progress toward a worthy objective.'

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Goals_Zig%20Zigl
ar.jpg> Zig Ziglar's words have been an inspiration to me over the
years.  Many people tell me that I am a good father, but I find this
hard to believe because I know about the many times I have failed as a
father.  But this I know, I have always been a goal setter from an early
age.  Any success I have as a father is because of my penchant for goal
setting and my belief in the power of prayer.  I have found notes of my
goals 25 years ago and find that 'miraculously' I am still on track
today when it comes to my desire to put my family first.

That is why in the first session of Good to Great Fatherhood Mentoring
Course last week I spoke to the participants about the need to set goals
and prioritise their lives accordingly.  Zig Ziglar talks about 7 key
areas for goal setting as being physical, mental, spiritual, personal,
family, career and financial.  The key thing is to develop your dreams,
create a vision and put your goals on paper.  You will be amazed at the
results.

Lovework

You guessed it: write out your own personal goals as a father.  Use Zig
Ziglar's 7-spoke template as detailed above or use my 'Ten Secrets for
Success' found in the 'Special Feature' to develop your goal and vision
plan for your life and a better future.  You will never regret it!  I
guarantee!! Just do it!!!

Yours for goal setting

Warwick Marsh

___________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is 
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from
25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and
public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Stock%20Clerk.jp
g> 

Give me a stock clerk with a goal,

and I will give you a man 

who will make history.

Give me a man without a goal

and I will give you a stock clerk.

J.C.Penny

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Laughter

Dear Tech Support:
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Indian_Tech_Supp
ort.jpg> 

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend version 7.0 to Wife version 1.0. I
soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that
took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0
installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other
system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0,
Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
my favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend
7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User. 

___________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child
Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear",
to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE because'
ultimately' you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the
system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep
3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs . Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 Once this happens,
the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support 

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Single Dads 

 

A DIVORCED DAD COMMENTS
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er.jpg> 

I posted this to the website on the "before you even think about
divorce" page, but don't know if I ever shared it with the list:

Diane, On the fallout of divorce, the following comes from a Smart
Marriages regular who is participating in my online Art of Loving Well
workshop.  His poignant response comes after reading "A Distant Bell" by
Elizabeth Enright, a story about all that goes on during the summer days
11-year-old Susie and her dad spend together.  (I have his permission to
share these comments.) Nancy.

A few lines from the story will set the scene:

"The year after my father and mother were divorced, my father, who got
me in the summers, took me to a town on the Cape called Harbor
Landing.... "My father, I sensed, was trying hard.  I smiled obligingly,
though I thought he could not know much about me if he didn't know I
loathed most boys and planned never to marry; and it was no joking
matter.  I was eleven years old, with straight hair, and skinny knees
that jutted out above my socks.  I felt uncomfortable with my father,
and I think he did with me.  We did not know each other very well,
having lost track of each other, rather, in the years just past."

I am a divorced father of now a 19-year-old daughter.  She was 10 at the
time of the divorce. I can completely sympathize with Suzie's dad.  I
think that he is really quite a good dad and trying very hard to be an
effective parent for his daughter.  I can sympathize with the fathers
that pack up and leave, 1,000's of miles away and never see their kids.
It is selfish and wrong but I have often felt that it would be a relief
to completely forget I have a family and start fresh. It is so painful
to not be with your flesh and blood, to know that your reputation is
constantly being soiled in the home that you purchased and maintained,
even if your ex-wife is conscious not to say anything bad about you.
The very connotation that her mother could not live with him another
minute is completely different than living with spite while her father
is in the home. At least her father is not so bad that her mother could
not have him in the home.

The thought that he only 'gets' to see her at court ordered times and is
not involved in seeing her progress toward adulthood day after day gnaws
on him multiple times each day. The financial siphoning of his income
without any recognition or thanks.  The erosion of the dream.  He is
organizing as good a time for Suzie as he could imagine without really
knowing what she likes or would enjoy.  He can only afford what he has
arranged for her.  He really doesn't know her except the frozen memory
of what she was like before he left home.  That is why he may treat her
like a little girl, because that is all he's known her to be.  Beyond
that day is primarily a guess, a tapestry of moments he talked with her
in snippets.  Maybe the notes she wrote.  He pieces together who he
knows is Suzie and hopes that he is somewhere close to who she might be.

So his time with her is joyous yet searing as he is reminded of times he
has missed with her, not knowing what her favourite food is, how her
teachers react to her essays, not knowing if her shoe size is a 3 or 4,
or what she looked like before she got her last haircut.  He knows that
she doesn¹t know him either.  Much of what she does know is tainted by
her mother¹s comments and her wishes of what she would like a dad to be.
He does not meet her expectations and wants of a father because he is
not meeting the most basic need of being one, being there.

I cannot fault him at all.  He is being much better of a father than
many others who are in his position.  I can fault him like I can fault a
wheelchair bound person for blocking the hallway.

Susie has lost her place in a family.  She is not the apple of her
father's eye because she cannot see her father's eye, except for a few
days on summer vacation.  She has lost the communication skills of the
two genders as she does not see the interaction of a committed couple
but rather sees a romanticized interaction of potential second-go-'round
suitors.  She has lost her confidence in dealing with boys/men.  She has
lost being a part of a cast that is family but now becomes a special
guest of her father at a summer resort.    

Nancy McLaren 'The Loving Well' Project School of Education Boston
University    http://www.bu.edu/sed/lovingwell    

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All you need is Love

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Family%20Group%2
02.jpg> 

 

MARRIAGE IS BEST FOR BRINGING UP CHILDREN

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.bcft.co.uk/Family%20breakdown%20in%20the%20UK.pdf
<http://www.bcft.co.uk/Family%20breakdown%20in%20the%20UK.pdf>  

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/09/07/nmarriag
e07.xml
<http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/09/07/nmarria
ge07.xml>     

Harry Benson

Bristol Community Family Trust, UK

Excerpts from the UK Daily Telegraph:

The findings will put intense pressure on David Cameron to offer voters
a cast-iron guarantee that he will put marriage at the heart of Tory
policies on the family. . . .

The findings are based on a study of 15,000 mothers who gave birth
during 2000-01 - the so-called Millennium Cohort Study. It found that
cohabiting couples were twice as likely to experience a family breakdown
during the early years of parenthood than married couples of a similar
income.

When the sample was expanded to include all unmarried couples -
including those cohabiting and "closely involved" - family breakdown is
five times more common than among married couples.

Almost 3,000 of the women involved in the study had become lone parents
during the first three years of their child's life.

However, analysis of the figures reveals that six per cent of married
couples had experienced a family breakdown compared with 32 per cent
among all unmarried couples. When the unmarried figures are broken down,
they show that 20 per cent of cohabiting couples experienced breakdown
while the figure among "closely involved" couples was 74 per cent.

Evidence from the study suggests that the low breakdown rates among
married couples can be explained by a range of factors including
commitment, fathers playing a greater role in their children's
upbringing and better communication.

Mr Duncan Smith said that the study offered compelling evidence that
marriage must be the basis of Government policy to tackle family
breakdown.

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Thought of the Week

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/man_frustrated.j
pg> 

You must have long range goals 

to keep you from being frustrated 

by short range failures.

Anon

 

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Special Feature

TEN  SECRETS  FOR  SUCCESS

by Warwick Marsh

Life Goals

Value Goals

Relational Goals
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/binocular%20man.
jpg> 

Material, Financial & Work Goals

1) Spiritual Goals

Love God - God is love and God is truth - 'I wanna know what love is' by
Foreigner - find God.  God is the Great Father, the creator of all
things.  God loves you; love is the greatest force in the universe.

2) Integrity & Truth Goals 

Love Truth - 'Honesty is the best policy' (anon), 'buy the truth and do
not sell it', 'a good name is more desirable than great riches' (both
proverbs), 'to thine own self be true and as night follows day you
cannot be false to any man', William Shakespeare.

3) Attitude Goals

Love Faith - Believe in yourself, believe in others, be positive and
speak positively - 'the cup is half full, not half empty'.  'He who
guards his lips, guards his life', life and death are in the power of
the tongue (proverbs), 'as a man thinks, so is he', Jesus said, 'You
shall have whatsoever you say'.  Faith - you can do very little with it,
but you can do nothing without it.  

4) Learning Goals 

Love Wisdom & Knowledge - Never stop learning, never stop growing - 'by
wisdom a house is built and through understanding it is established',
'the more you know, the more you grow'.  The more you know, the more you
realise you don't know - this is the key to humility.

5) Personal Goals 

Love Yourself - Love Life - Don't worry, be happy.  'Life is for
living', The golden rule is to love your neighbour as you love yourself.
'Life be in it', 'Don't let life pass you by'.

6) Health Goals 

Love Being Healthy - plan health, eat right, sleep right, exercise right
and you will be right. 'A merry heart doeth good like a medicine', Keep
your sense of humour, plenty of people will try to take it!  Keep the
saw sharp.

7) Family: Marital & Fatherhood Goals 

Love Your Neighbour - Your relationships are your most important
treasure.  Those closest to you - your wife, your children, your family
members, love your friends.

8) Community: Giving & Helping Goals 

Love People (Love Giving) - to smile at someone is a wonderful gift.
The key to life is giving - Mother Teresa.  'Be a giver, not a taker'
-'there is great joy in giving' - giving is exciting.  The great people
of the world are all giving people.  It is more blessed to give than to
receive.

9) Career, Business & Work Goals 

Love Work - 'whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might'
- the hand of the diligent will prosper - discipline is part of work -
whoever loves discipline loves knowledge.  Success is 90% perspiration &
10% inspiration.

10) Financial, Business & Asset Goals 

Love Being Financially Healthy - Plan your work and work your plan.
Saving is important and so is giving - investing for the future,
building your asset base - be careful of gambling addictions.

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News & Info

<http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20312376-421,00.html> 

<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/steve%20irwin.jp
g> 

We Love You dad-the final message Steve Irwin didn't get

http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,20361307-5006301,00.htm
l
<http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,20361307-5006301,00.ht
ml> 

 

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Peter Perfect leaves his Legacy

'I was fortunate I had a father who supported me no matter what I did.'

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20375652-2,00.html
<http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20375652-2,00.html> 

 

 

 

 

Group calls for laws to ban smacking children by parents.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20381957-2,00.html
<http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20381957-2,00.html> 

___________________________________

Fathers closer to children

By Clair Weaver

August 20, 2006 12:00

VIRTUALLY all fathers are spending more time with their children than
previous generations, a study shows.

In a trend consistent with the popular stereotype of the "sensitive
new-age guy'', today's dads are also better at helping around the house
and performing childcare duties. 

Research by the online magazine motherInc has found 95 per cent of
fathers believe they spend more time with their children than their own
fathers did with them. 

motherInc chief executive Claudia Keech says 25 per cent of dads are
"completely hands-on'' - meaning that they undertake everything from
school runs and doctor's appointments to homework and sporting
activities at weekends. 

Scott Avery, the father of Zoe, 4, and Tegan, 3, typifies the modern
dad. 

Mr Avery juggles fatherhood with a full-time job at Sydney University,
where he has an agreed flexible working arrangement. His wife, Alison,
also works full-time. 

For four years, Mr Avery and a group of fellow dads have met regularly
at a pub to socialise and offer one another support. 

"It started off with all the blokes talking about sport, then we got to
know the children and what their issues were,'' he says. 

"We were comparing stories, and we became a group of friends who could
support one another.'' 

Mr Avery, who has begun writing a column called DadInc for the motherInc
website, says his flexible working regimen has improved his relationship
with his children. 

"I had a year in which I was working quite long hours doing the rat
race,'' he said. 

As a child, he spent less time with his own father whose role was seen
as the breadwinner. 

Mr Avery and his fathers' group will definitely be spending this
Father's Day with their children - their wives are leaving them behind
to go on a trip to Canberra together. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Letters

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

My daughter saw the Superman TV advert on Perth TV.   She recognized it
when I played the video clip to her.

Well done.

Happy Father's Day

Steve Blizard

Perth

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

Yes, I am one of the very lucky single dads and it is now just after
midnight and I have got on the net to read any mail over the weekend. My
fathersonline was terrific as usual. I just want to say even though it
has been wet since Friday nite nothing could have dampened my Fathers
Day. My eldest gave me the present on Friday, it was one of my NRL
teams' stubbie coolers. I broke it over a few drinks on the weekend. My
youngest was busy Saturday night finishing her card she started making
at school. I went to church as normal, one up, one asleep, though as I
drove home (all of 3 minutes) I get a text message; are you on your way
home yet dad?" I replied, "Getting paper, there in 2 min." I shedded car
and walked into a full cooked breaky, clean kitchen, washing up done
from night before, a fruit juice and finished Card; my 15 and 12 year
old spoilt me really special. I will never forget this day. Then after
dinner we watch TV together, and then I helped my older girl with school
assignment, hence the late net access. 

Yes life can be and is blessed some days, just another number one. 

Don't forget dads, you are the number ONE Dad to  your children, no
angry sick ex or step dad can steal that title from you, that is all
yours, so treasure it with your children the best way you can.  

Cheers from Mike :)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

The new ads that you are showing are fantastic. They show the lighter
side of fatherhood and that being involved isn't such a chore.

Here in Port Pirie we have re worked some Canadian ads from "My Daddy
Matters because". With permission we have changed the voice over and tag
line and these ads are being shown on Southern Cross GTS/BKN. At present
only one ad is on view as the voice overs are being done on the others.

We decided to promote Being Dad with these ads so as to raise the local
awareness. So far the response has been great.

The others feature a dad rehearsing some wild animal noises on the drive
home so that he can read to his young daughter and a dad getting ready
for a work out and then doing a dance routine with his teenage daughter.

Thanks for the inclusion about Dads Drop Off Day here in Pirie

Keep up the good work

Andrew Hadert

Being Dad Project Officer

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

I just saw your ad and thought it was an ad for child abuse. I could not
believe my eyes when I saw it was an ad for you. It portrayed a father
with his young son sitting on a couch drinking coke and belching with
the then also drinking coke spilling it and belching. I find this ad
insulting as a father if that was the only input in my child's life. If
I was as bad a father as the one portrayed in the ad I would expect
family services to take the child from me. How about the next ad have
the father playing a sport or helping the child with homework or
something. The Amart allsports ad is a better ad for fatherhood than
yours.  

My wife thought the ad must have been created by a disgruntled single
mum for a joke.

Yours faithfully

Insulted father

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 TRAINING COURSES

Code  WWM 3

 Working with Men Accredited Course

 Wednesday, Thursday, Friday 20,21,22 September & 15,16,17 November 2006
from 9.30am to 4.30pm

          North Parramatta

 

Code  EIT 16

Hey, Dad for Separated Fathers Facilitator Training

Wednesday, Thursday 25,26 October 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm

North Parramatta

Code  EIT 17

Fathers' Matters Program - Facilitator Training for an Intensive  Group
Program

Monday, Tuesday 4&5 December 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm

At Macarthur

To register:    To obtain an application form for this training, call
Maureen Micallef at Burnside on 02 9768 6811 or email
[email-masked]  or visit the web site www.burnside.org.au
<http://www.burnside.org.au/>   and follow the prompts to Resources and
Training

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Dad's Prayer

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/couple_writing.g
if> 

Dear God

Help me have a vision of the future

that includes you.

Help me determine my plans and goals.

Help me write them down

so that they make sense

and include all the aspects

of my life and my family's life. 

Then help me achieve them.

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us
<http://www.ausheart.com.au/fathers/about/index.html>  

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. 
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a   source
of harm. 

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in
fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible,
involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their
children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation
Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund 
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax
deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558 

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the
Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the
Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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