Subject: Open Hearted LIstening
From: <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 15 Oct 2006 08:54:28 +1000

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Issue 212 - 16 th September, 2006 	Go to our website Here
<http://www.fathersonline.org/> 	 
 
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*	Hello Warwick
*	Grandads
*	Laughter
*	Single Dads 
*	All you need is Love
*	Thought of the Week
*	Special Feature
*	News & Info
*	Dad's Prayer
*	Help Us

Hello Warwick

 

In 1986 Gordon Moyes was awarded
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Gordon%20Moyes.j
pg> Australian Father of the Year. This is not the only reason Gordon
was our speaker at last week's Good to Great course, but it was a good
reason.  

Gordon Moyes is the father of four children and has been married to
Beverly for almost five decades. That is a great sign of love, one way
or the other.  Gordon has been awarded Australia's highest honours, both
the Companion of the Order of Australia and the Member of the Order of
Australia. He is also a member of the NSW Parliament Upper House.

Amongst his many achievements, Dr Gordon Moyes is the first minister of
any church in the world to have raised and spent over one billion
dollars in extending the charitable work of the church. As a result
Wesley Mission is now the largest non-government provider of welfare
services in Australia.

At a dinner held in his honour in Sydney to mark the end of his time as
the head of Wesley Mission, Australian Prime Minister John Howard
described him as 'the epitome of effective Christian leadership.'

In the first of two public farewells, hundreds of dignitaries, business
leaders, politicians and Wesley Mission supporters gathered at the
Westin Hotel to pay tribute to Dr Moyes as a leader, communicator and
social activist.

His life has taken him from ancient tombs in the Middle East to the side
of a US President. He is a Member of Parliament, award winning
filmmaker, author, columnist, international television personality and
adviser to the Prime Minister.

Speaking at last week's Good to Great, Gordon shared stories from many
other's lives about their fathers. However interest really grew as his
stories became more personal.  He shared a very powerful idea with us
that he and his wife do every Boxing Day. Beverly and Gordon go through
their following year's diary together and mark out family celebrations;
celebrations such
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/family%20dinner.
jpg> as their children and grandchildren's birthdays, Mothers Day,
Fathers Day and their own wedding anniversary.  This has now tallied to
28 special family celebrations that must be allocated even before the
year starts.  What a challenging idea!  In Gordon's words, "You have to
make a time and keep a time."  If you don't schedule time for your
family, your family will always come second to everything else. Another
simple but profound thought that Gordon gave us was that he never
listens to the radio while his wife is in the car because he believes
that time should be given to personal communication.

Perhaps the most profound idea that Gordon gave us was the story he told
of how all his family were  sitting on his bed the night before his
first son was married. They all pondered the fact that this was going to
be the last time they were going to get together on his parents' bed -
something of a family meeting place.  Gordon asked each child what was
the most memorable family time they had spent together.  Many different
thoughts were shared but the most outstanding from the children's point
of view were the family devotions they had together. Gordon was
surprised because he felt that those times had always been a disaster,
but one of his children pointed out that as their dad he had always
encouraged his children to share their points of view frankly.  These
small moments of open hearted sharing took the prize that night before
the wedding of Gordon and Beverley's eldest son, and still remain today
some of the Moyes Family's most memorable times together.

Lovework

Practice open hearted listening and learn to pray with and for your
family at family dinners. Prayer and spiritual discussion might feel
like times of disaster for you, but for your children they may just
become a greater source of life than you could ever imagine.

Yours for open hearted listening.

Warwick Marsh

___________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is 
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from
25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and
public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 
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.jpg> 

Criticism kills

but confidence builds.

Dr Gordon Moyes

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Laughter

 
 
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the
other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

 <http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Monk%201.jpg> 

 
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not
from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to
question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in
the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would
be continued in all of the subsequent copies. 

 <http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Monk%202.jpg> 
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for
centuries, but you make a good point, my son." 
 <http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Monk%203.jpg> 
 
He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the
original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't
been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old
abbot. 

 <http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Monk%204.jpg> 

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees
him banging his head against the wall and wailing, ?We missed the "R?,
we missed the "R"!"
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was... 

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CELEBRATE!!!" 

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Single Dads 

 

He is Always There

By Tony Miller

Tony Miller spoke recently at our Good to Great course for Single Dads.

The following is an excerpt of a letter he wrote after his visit to
Wollongong.
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_sea.jpg> 

I live in a beautiful part of the world. Every morning I get up and
thank the Lord for giving me the breath for another day and allowing me
to be a part of another glorious day. I live in a 25 year old mobile
home which is surrounded by beautiful flowers, scrubs and trees. I can
walk 5 minutes and I am on the beach, I have a tennis court at my back
door and a pool at my front. I have a beautiful veranda that wraps
around half the home which I enjoy pacing up and down or just sitting
watching the parrots feed off the nectars, the bees busy at work, the
various flowers displaying their glory. I have nice furniture, crockery
and cutlery, linen and blankets. I have photos of my kids all around the
walls, I have awards that I proudly display on my walls as well, my
nomination for Australian of the Year, my Rotary award, my Fatherhood
Foundation award, grandfather of the year award but more importantly I
have the best award of all and that is my little bloke sound asleep on
the lounge just behind me while I am writing this. He had left me a card
on the table he made for me for Fathers Day, 'Dear Dad, you are the
best. I'm so lucky to have you as my dad! So Happy Fathers Day!

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for a very generous friend, Gabriele
Fink from Germany who actually put the money up to buy the place and
allow me to pay it off. I had absolutely no way of getting a loan or
ever even dreaming of ever owning my own place again. I didn't even have
a deposit let alone a chance of getting one. This generous person from
the other side of the world simply offered to help me out. ME, Now that
showed me real generosity and faith. Another lesson, thank you LORD.

I guess my reason for explaining where I live is simple. Many would not
see the beauty in where I now live but I do. You see when I started
'dids' I was living under a house in what was once an artists studio.
There was no bathroom other than an outside toilet. The kitchen was a
dirt floor which was cut out from the rear of underneath the house.
There was an old enamel tub that was once used to wash the brushes used
by the artists and this was my sink. There was only a cold water tap. I
was fortunate enough to have job as a cleaner and would clean the local
channel Ten studio early in the mornings and that is where I would
shower before anyone came into work. It was here that I landed after
walking away from my company, from my previous life, a bankrupt, bitter,
burnt-out shell of a man. All self confidence, self worth and any desire
to continue in this life had vanished. I had entered into voluntary
bankruptcy simply because I couldn't cope. I didn't want to cope; I
simply wanted to get off the merry-go-round called Life.

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Bitter%20Man.jpg
> When I started 'dids' it was purely a very selfish act. I was looking
at a rope around my neck. I simply wanted to end the pain. I couldn't
stop crying. I couldn't stop praying. GOD give me the answer. I hated
myself. I hated life. I hated my wife. I hated the friends I thought had
let me down. I hated myself. It was in this quagmire that I started on
the road to self discovery. I went looking for help, couldn't find any,
so I started it. I spent most of my life trying to get out of life, I
needed to find out why.

So what kept me going, what drove me? The biggest thing MY father gave
me was my faith. I am an adopted child who didn't get the opportunity to
know my real parents (They both died before I was 1) And out of all the
things my adopted dad gave me was compassion to those less fortunate, to
have integrity, but most of all, faith. A belief in GOD. That has kept
me going. That has been the one constant in my life. I have hit some
hard times in my life but my faith in GOD has never wavered. There may
have been times I questioned HIM. There were no doubt times I even
cursed HIM. There were times when I was in a hurry to meet HIM. But I
have never doubted HE was there. And I have always had the belief that
whenever I buggered up, HE was there ready to forgive me.

I couldn't live, I wouldn't want to live, without the absolute truth of
knowing that HE is there. That I can talk to HIM, That HE is watching
over me, That HE is my best mate, That whatever happens, HE wont ever
let me down. I feel absolute sadness for people who have no faith. And I
pray that HE watches over them just the same and helps them to know HIM.
As Nigel Forsyth a great friend and someone who once saved my life said
to be once, Tony, some people just need a slight tap on the shoulder
from GOD to believe, others like me needed a four be two across the
kneecaps to wake up. Nigel was an unbeliever and now a training pastor
and our 'dids' chaplain, a man of great faith who has turned is life
around and I may say his marriage. His kneecaps now hurt from praying.

So I am writing to you Warwick and Alison and all the helpers you have
there at the Fatherhood Foundation simply to say I honour your work in
bringing faith back into the lives of those men who feel lost and are
now found. There is no greater work then yours . . .

Thank you for that from our dads, from our kids and ultimately from our
wives . . .

Tony Miller dids

[email-masked] 

www.dadsindistress.asn.au <http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/>  

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All you need is Love

The Commitment Challenge

From the Smart Loving E-Newsletter

To subscribe to this free monthly newsletter go to:

www.CelebrateLove.com.au <http://www.celebratelove.com.au/>  

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pg> 

Commitment Phobia. We've heard the phrase bandied around for years, but
is it really as simple as someone being afraid of, or threatened by,
making a commitment to his or her dating partner? Usually the
'Commitment Phobia' accusation is levelled towards the man in the
relationship with the related belief that it comes down to something
genetically programmed on the Y chromosome!

At the core of a person's willingness to commit to a relationship, is
their willingness to accept limitations and restrictions on their
options. And here-in lies the problem. Maintaining our options is highly
valued by our culture. We see it as a wise position; why close the doors
on anything unless you have to? Keep your options open because you can't
predict whether you will need that option in the future. It's like
insurance - have a back up plan in case this one doesn't work out.

However, for many people, the options game is not just about insurance;
it revolves around the fantasy that we can 'have it all' - the career;
the family; the soul mate spouse; the overseas experience; the home to
die for; the rugged-but-sensitive and emotionally vulnerable man; the
pure-and-untouched-but sexually uninhibited virgin woman. We've been
told by our consumer society that we deserve it all. 

The problem is, in relationships, it doesn't work like this. It's not
possible to enjoy the benefits of an intimate, soulful and joyous
relationship if we're still playing the field (even if it is only in our
imagination) or have a back up plan. Intimacy flourishes in a bed of
confident fidelity and exclusivity; it's only safe to be emotionally
vulnerable if the couple's commitment to each other is rock solid. 

The life-long love-affair of which we all dream comes about through the
dedicated effort of both spouses. You're just not going to make that
kind of effort if in the back of your mind you're holding onto the
thought that maybe there's a better option out there for you.

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Thought of the Week

 

<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/holding_hand.jpg
> To turn the hearts of the fathers

To the children

And the hearts of the children

                   To the fathers.

                      Very last words of Malachi

                      400 years BC

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Special Feature

Extract from 'Boy's Passage Man's Journey'

By Brian D Molitor p. 108 © 2004 Emerald Books Lynnwood WA USA

The Original 'Mentor'
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The term mentoring is actually based upon both the actions and the name
of an ancient Greek named Mentor. In the classic Greek tale the Odyssey,
Mentor is a friend of Odysseus, the king of Ithaca, a small island
kingdom. More important, Mentor is the trusted tutor of Telemachus, the
son of Odysseus. In the story, Odysseus reluctantly departs from his
family to go and fight another man's war. Rather than leaving his son
solely in the care of his mother, Odysseus chooses Mentor to be the
boy's guide teacher, and protector. Over the next twenty years, Mentor
remains faithful to his task and even risks his own life for Telemachus
during his father's long absence. 

After many years away, Odysseus attempts to return home to his family
with his ships filled with treasure from all of his exploits.
Unfortunately things do not go as planned, and this absentee father is
once again swept away. Odysseus eventually returns, having lost his
worldly treasures, and finds his home in chaos. (Why am I not
surprised?)

The Modern Mentor

This ancient tale contains amazing parallels to what is happening in the
lives of our young people today. Too many modern families are thrown
into chaos as parents depart, either physically or emotionally, to fight
battles for significance, financial increase, and/or identity. That is
the bad news. However, as in the Odyssey, there are many adults today
with the courage and wisdom to stay and serve the new generation rather
than going off to fight for a less vital cause. 

Mentors for today's young males come in many shapes, sizes and colours
and are called by many different names.  First and foremost, they are
called dad. Despite some reports to the contrary, our world is still
filled with fathers who are deeply dedicated to the development of their
children. Other titles of mentors include youth pastor, coach, teach,
grandfather, uncle, older brother, stepdad, foster parent and scout
leader, and there are other possibilities.

In addition, since the function of a mentor is slightly different from
the function of a role model, it is clear that mentors can also be
called mum, grandmother, aunt, and foster mother. Across the world,
mothers are investing themselves in the lives of their sons. Countless
single mums are raising sons, and these sons can certainly turn out well
if a plan of mentoring, intentional blessings, and rites of passage is
successfully designed and carried out. Mothers also have important,
unique roles in the lives of their sons in nuclear homes where both
parents spend time mentoring, teaching, and disciplining their boys. For
example, my wife does an outstanding job of teaching our children life
lessons during trips to town, at bedtime, or at the dinner table.
Without question, mothers can be excellent mentors and teachers for
their sons.

However, I need to present the complete picture here and say that there
is one thing that a mother can never be for her son: a male role model.
Boys must grow up around some positive male role models so that they can
observe what it means to be a man. In homes where a woman is raising a
boy alone, it is crucial that she find a trusted man to serve her son as
a mentor and role model before, during, and after his celebration.

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News & Info

<http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20312376-421,00.html> 

<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Brian%20Molitor%
20A4%20Poster%20Warwick%20FINAL.jpg> 

Dear Friends

We write to tell you about the Turning Hearts 2006 Speaking Tour with
Brian Molitor.  

Brian is the author of the groundbreaking book, 'Boy's Passage Man's
Journey' (c) 2004, Emerald Books, USA. This book is available from
Koorong Books www.koorong.com.au <http://www.koorong.com.au/>   and has
had a wonderful impact around the world.  Brian is also the founder of
Malachi Global Foundation www.malachiglobal.org
<http://www.malachiglobal.org/>   based in USA.  He is also a management
consultant and an executive coach who has taught leadership and
management principles all over the world.  Brian has been married to
Kathy for 23 years and has four children.

Brian Molitor will be conducting 'Boy's Passage Man's Journey'
Seminars', which focus on lifelong mentoring, transitions to manhood,
father's blessing, words of affirmation and rites of passage.

He will be conducting these seminars in Wollongong, Perth, Kalgoorlie,
Sunshine Coast QLD, Hobart, Melbourne and Berwick from 18th October to
29th October.

The evening seminars will run for 2 hours at a cost of $25.

Full day seminars will be $30.

We encourage you to attend one of these 'Boy's Passage Man's Journey'
seminars which are geared for fathers and young men.

Brian Molitor is a world class speaker with a message of renewal for men
and families for the 21st century.  We encourage you to take advantage
of his presence in Australia and book in early at a location near you to
avoid disappointment.

Yours for Australian families

Warwick Marsh

Fatherhood Foundation

PO Box 440

Wollongong  NSW 2520

02 4272 6677

[email-masked] 

www.fathersonline.org <http://www.fathersonline.org/>  

Boy's Passage Man's Journey Seminars will be held in the following
locations: 

Wednesday 18th October, 7 - 9 pm

Wollongong

Cedars Christian College

Library Building

Waples Rd

Unanderra NSW 2526

Bookings are essential

Ph: 02 4272 6677

AH: 0418 225 212

Saturday 21st October, 9 am - 3 pm

Thornlie Church of Christ

319 Spencer Rd

Thornleigh WA

Bookings are essential

08 9459 8522

AH: 0413 081 228

Monday 23rd October, 7-9 pm

Kalgoorlie Church of Christ 

169 Egan St

Kalgoorlie WA

Bookings are essential

08 9021 2296

AH: 0427 356 619

Wednesday 25th October, 7-9 pm

Goodlife Community Church

100 Buderim Pines Dr

Buderim QLD

Bookings are essential

07 5478 1766

AH: 0412 121 745

or 0410 585 277

Sponsored by: 

Goodlife Community Church

Heart to Heart Ministries 

The Passage Program

Thursday 26th October, 7 - 9 pm

Grace Christian Church

45 Melville St

Hobart TAS

Bookings are essential

03 6231 2648

AH: 0418 123 338

Saturday 28th October, 9.30 am - 3.30 pm

Lighthouse Christian College

(Library Building)

927 Springvale Rd

Springvale VIC

Bookings are essential

03 8796 7373

AH: 0402 067 030

Sunday 29th October, 6 - 8 pm

The Winepress Church

40 Intrepid St

Berwick VIC

03 9796 1006

____________________________________________________

Breathing Under Water

Understanding 12 Step Spirituality

Monday 13th November 2006

7.30pm to 9:30pm

You are invited to register for an evening with

FR. RICHARD ROHR (O.F.M.)

BARDON CONFERENCE CENTRE

390 Simpsons Rd. Bardon, Q.

For further information contact:

MTM Australia (07)  3876 8710

Richard Rohr has been exploring issues of male spirituality
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since 1987. From this work Richard observed that men in our western
culture were lacking in their experience and understanding of the
transcendent power of God. He has established Rites of Passage programs
in New Mexico to help guide men through a formal initiation process that
they may have missed during their critical developmental period as young
men. The Men As Learners and Elders (M.A.L.E.s) program was established
in 2002 to carry out the vision of creating a school for male spiritual
development by expanding the scope of Men's Rites of Passage programs
throughout the world. One of the goals of M.A.L.E.s is to form an
extended network of men and leaders who have an ecumenical vision of the
Gospel. These men will then serve as Elders in providing leadership and
guidance in spiritual development for other men in future generations.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Real Men - Great Dads

with Warwick Marsh from the Fatherhood Foundation

Men's Retreat 27-28 October

at Edmund Rice Retreat and Conference Centre

Winbourne, 1315 Mulgoa Rd, Mulgoa

For more information phone 4732 3139

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

FRESH START - Hear Sam Low speak at the October Meeting.

Are you a PARENT or a CHILD of a broken marriage?

Come along and listen to Sam Low, a gifted speaker and Youth Pastor at
St Paul's, Castle Hill.  He experienced his parent's marriage breakdown
in his early high school years and will share his insights.

28th October, 2006

7.30pm start

St Paul's Anglican Church,

421 Old Northern Road,

Castle Hill

A panel of young people will also answer your questions. Suitable for
separated / divorced parents, and pre teen to young adult children of
divorced parents.

Contact: Michael or Julie on (02) 96296680 or 0404048613

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Highly Recommended!!

Weekend to Remember

27-29 October 2006

Rydges Oasis Resort

Wollongong 

Register at www.ozfamily.org.au <http://www.ozfamily.org.au/>  

Day to Treasure

21 October 06 - Ph: 02 4271 8124

4 November 05 - Ph: 02 4256 2103

Visit www.ozfamily.org.au <http://www.ozfamily.org.au/>   to find more
venues and dates for a Day to Treasure

*************************

US Marriage Leaders Visit Australia

Marriage Leaders and Ministers are invited to attend Morning Tea and an
opportunity to hear from two exciting couples visiting Sydney from North
America:

Leo and Molly Godzich founded the National Association of Marriage
Enhancement (NAME) and are actively involve in teaching couples how to
have a better marriage.  They will share their insights on how the
understanding of a foundation of covenant can make a huge difference in
the lives of our churches. Leo and Molly teach a weekly marriage class
to hundreds of couples with outstanding results. Together they have
created and conduct 'Together Forever' marriage events. 

Bob and Audrey Meisner will share from their dynamic testimony of
marriage healing after seeking God and facing up to the impact of
adultery.  They have recently written two books and are co-hosts of the
television program - It's A New Day' seen daily across Canada and the
UK.  Individually and as a couple, they have been working on Christian
television since 1984. Having pioneered in broadcasting and church
planting, Bob and Audrey are now popular marriage conference speakers.  

THE DETAILS:

FRIDAY 3rd November 2006

* 10.00 am Morning Tea - Conclude by 12.30 pm 

* C2 Connection Centre 

* Corner of Silverwater Road and Egerton Street SILVERWATER 2128 

* No charge/No offering 

* Car Parking available - onsite & on the street 

FOR FURTHER INFORMATION:      

and to RSVP (By Wed 1st Nov) please contact:

Neil and Jane Rookes -  National Marriage Coalition 

28/18 Day Street North  SILVERWATER NSW 2128

P: 02 96486464   M: 0434984295    

E: [email-masked] 

Two similar events will be held in Brisbane and Toowoomba, Tuesday 7th
November.

Please contact above for further information.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

27 September 2006 
Herald Sun 
Dad sues over child support 
A father who paid child support for two children that were not his
biological offspring is suing the Commonwealth of Australia. In a
statement of claim tendered to the County Court, Liam Magill alleges a
gross error was made in calculating his child support liability for the
three children in 1999. 
Read more
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news537.html
<http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news537.html>  

26 September 2006 
Herald Sun 
Neighbours witness tragic flight 
A successful businessman locked in a messy divorce flew his plane into
the side of a mountain minutes after takeoff yesterday. 
Read more
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news536.html
<http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news536.html>  

17 September 2006 
The Sun-Herald 
Nan and pop go to court for sake of grandkids 
Grandparents, frustrated by the way their grandchildren are being
brought up, are taking their own children to court to secure visiting
rights and even to assume custody. 
Read more
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news535.html
<http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news535.html>  

17 September 2006 
The Sunday Age 
Children taking on their parents' stresses 
CHILDREN are increasingly finding it difficult to divorce themselves
from the problems of family breakdown, mortgage and consumer pressures
felt by parents. 
Read more
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news534.html
<http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news534.html>  

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Letters

 

Letter to SBS Insight Program

Dear Sir

Thank goodness! It wasn't just terrible TV! Since your Insight program
last Tuesday was radically biased I have had to commence making some
decisions. I have been informed that the comments and contributions from
a number of panel members were savaged or deleted in the production
process to craft a deliberate viewpoint. 

IN a way this is good! It was not simply a terribly produced and
facilitated program. Rather it was a crafted propaganda statement. It
achieved its purpose.

Nevertheless, now that I have been informed that savage editorial
control was exercised, and an artistic representation created, I need to
make a serious decision how to treat SBS and Insight. Incredible to
think I once took what I saw on your channel seriously. I'm likely going
to inform my students (high school) of the observation that they should
be wary of the obvious bias in your representation. 

I will probably have to also not use this program in class anymore, in
the interests of balanced and integrous discussion! However, I guess as
a program savaged, filtered and shaped to convey a radical and
non-inclusive feminist view, I guess it was a show that achieved its
goal. In THAT way I could use it.

You have radically confused and biased the issue. Even as a responsible
step-parent I can see the bias. Come on, do you really give a stuff
about the kids???? Or is this all about what you want to portray??

Kevin Sargeant

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Turn my heart like yours.

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In turning I am assured,

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