Subject: Planning your Life
From: <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 24 Dec 2006 08:45:19 +1100

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Issue 227 - 25th December, 2006 	Go to our website Here
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*	Hello Warwick
*	Grandads
*	Laughter
*	Single Dads 
*	Special Feature
*	Thought of the Week
*	All You Need is Love
*	News & Info
*	Dad's Prayer
*	Help Us

Hello Warwick

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/thinking%20man.j
pg>  

The Christmas - New Year period is always a great time of year for
families. This is an opportunity to take some time out and hang loose
with those you love and hopefully strengthen the bonds of love between
us all. The Christmas New Year period is also a great time to reflect on
the successes and failures of the past 12 months and plan for an even
greater level of success with your family in the next 12 months. There
is a lot said about planning when it comes to the workplace, but very
little is said about planning when it comes to your family
relationships. The saying 'plan your work and work your plan' is a good
one, but I suggest a new saying that you can adopt as your own - 'plan
your life and relationise your plan'.

Unfortunately the drive within our culture is to acquire, consume and
get! We have to ask the simple question, 'Is this what life is all about
or are there other things?' Jesus Christ, the one whose birthday we are
celebrating at this time of the year said something very profound, 'A
man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions'. True,
we all have to eat, wear some clothes and have some sort of shelter from
the elements, but after these needs are satisfied, how much more do we
really need?

I have just returned from Melbourne and staying with friends where we
talked about growing up poor.  My good friend Steve spoke about living
on bread and dripping when he was a youngster. Trying to out do him, I
told him that I used to have to borrow money to go on school excursions.
Steve said that he never went on school excursions due to lack of money.
His son, who has just finished high school said tongue-in-cheek, "Gee,
it looks like I really missed out then doesn't it?" After a bit more
laughter we all realised that none of us had really missed out at all.

You see, what our children treasure more than new toys and school
excursions is time. Your wife feels the same way, although she might not
tell you in so many words. Another saying of the birthday man is, 'Where
your treasure is, there will your heart be also.'  In many ways our time
is our greatest treasure. Most of us, if not all of us, exchange our
time plus a certain level of skill or experience for treasure. Our
greatest resource then is not our money, but our time.

You have all heard the story about the university professor lecturing in
time management who placed sand into a container and had great
difficultly placing five large rocks into the container because the sand
had packed down so hard. He emptied the sand out, placed the five rocks
into the container first and then poured the sand in around the rocks.
Now he had no trouble fitting in the sand. The professor even poured two
cups of water into the container too. Miracle of miracles!! There was
room for the rocks, the sand and the water.

We spend a lot of time concentrating on the little things when we could
be investing in the things that really matter. The five big rocks
represent the following five goals:

1) Spiritual Goals

2) Relationship Goals

3) Integrity & Character Goals

4) Financial Goals

5) Self & Self-Development Goals

Remember all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Next week we will
explore the exciting process of goal setting even further.

Lovework

Figure out what the big rocks are in your life and your family's life
and then begin to plan your life and relationise your plan.

Yours for more planning

Warwick Marsh

PS We at the Fatherhood Foundation wish all our readers a very blessed
Christmas & a Happy New Year.
Warwick & Alison Marsh and Ron Hellyer who bring the fathersonline to
you each week, and members of the Fatherhood Foundation Board: Phil
Latz, Geoff Moses  and Mark Sewell. Special thanks to all those who
contribute articles and help with proofing etc. 
We would also like to extend huge appreciation to those who have helped,
encouraged and financially supported the work of the Fatherhood
Foundation. 

We look forward to a year of growth in 2007. 

 ___________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father
of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years
to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public
speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/thinking_man_1.j
pg> 

Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live

Margaret Fuller

 

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Laughter

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/carpet%20spill.j
pg> My MUM
  by Me

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning." 

My mother taught me RELIGION 
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL 
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!" 

My mother taught me LOGIC. 
"Because I said so, that's why." 

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC 
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me." 

My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 

My mother taught me IRONY. 
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 

<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/messy%20child.jp
g> My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS 
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 

My mother taught me about STAMINA 
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 

My mother taught me about WEATHER. 
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY 
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE 
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION 
"Stop acting like your father!" 

My mother taught me about ENVY. 
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do." 

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION 
"Just wait until we get home." 

My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/cross%20eyed%20b
oy.jpg> 

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE 
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way." 

My mother taught me ESP. 
" Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 

My mother taught me HUMOUR. 
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 

My mother taught me GENETICS 
"You're just like your father." 

My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a tent?" 

My mother taught me WISDOM. 
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 

And the favourite: - 

My mother taught me about JUSTICE. 
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" 

<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/crazy%20kids.jpg
> 

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Single Dads 

 

A Christmas Message to All our Friends

By Tony Miller
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/father-&-son.jpg
> 

Dads in Distress would like to thank you all for your help and kindness
throughout the year and we want you to know that we appreciate you,
especially in the fact that you have made a difference to OUR lives and
of OUR children's lives...........

It has been a year of many changes, many ups and many downs, which we
have survived with your help, our supporters, our lifesavers, our
grandparents, our children and the many many women who are standing
beside their men fighting for a fair go. Times are changing and although
we still have a long way to go, we are already seeing movement forward.
The year ahead will be a challenge for our organisation but one which we
will face head on. After all, the future of our children is at stake; we
cannot fail and we won't. Our children deserve to have two parents in
their day to day lives regardless of divorce or separation.
Fatherlessness is the major domestic issue of our times and we need to
bring this out into the mainstream and make it a civil rights issue in
this country. 

Please spare a thought over the Christmas and New Year celebrations for
those dads who for whatever reason cannot be with their children at this
time. I light a candle on Christmas Eve and put in my window. I like to
think of it as a light guiding those dads and their kids together, if
not in person, at least in spirit. I like to think that wherever my kids
are on Christmas Eve there is a guiding light to show them the way home
to my heart, my love and my thoughts for them. I won't have my kids for
Christmas this year but I will in my heart and I will also make room for
all of you who are similar circumstances at this time. My thoughts and
prayers will be with you all. You may wish to put a candle in your
window to help guide someone you know or even maybe someone you don't.
And if you are lucky enough to have your kids around you over Christmas
give them an extra hug from those of us who haven't.

We are so often caught up in our destination that we forget to
appreciate the journey, especially the goodness of the people we meet
along the way......

We are so pleased we were fortunate enough to meet you.......

Thank you for being there when we needed you, we wish you a very special
Christmas and a peaceful New Year........

Yours Sincerely Tony Miller  

dids Inc  

www.dadsindistress.asn.au <http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/>  

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Special Feature

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/aust%20soldier_i
raq.jpg> This poem was written by an Australian Peacekeeping soldier
stationed overseas.

 T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE  IN

A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE, MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.

 I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY, WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,  AND

TO SEE JUST WHO, IN THIS HOME, DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO

TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON

THE WALL HUNG PICTURES, OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER

THOUGHT, CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,

I  FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON

THE FLOOR, IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT

HOW I PICTURED, AN AUSTRALIAN SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO, OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?  CURLED UP

ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES, THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED

THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS, WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD, THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY, AND

GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE, A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM, EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,

BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS, LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER, HOW MANY LAY ALONE, ON A COLD

CHRISTMAS EVE, IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE, I DROPPED

TO MY KNEES, AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED, AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,

"SANTA, DON'T CRY, THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM; I DON'T ASK FOR MORE, MY LIFE IS

MY GOD, MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER, AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP, I

COULDN'T CONTROL IT, I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS, SO SILENT AND STILL, AND WE  BOTH

SHIVERED FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL,

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE ON  THIS COLD, DARK NIGHT, THIS

GUARDIAN OF HONOR, SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER, WITH A VOICE SOFT AND

PURE, WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA, ITS CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT

"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."

Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our all of the
service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities.

Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe.

Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who
sacrificed themselves for us.

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/aust%20soldiers_
iraq_1.jpg> 

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Thought of the Week

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Plan your life and relationise your plan

Warwick Marsh

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All You Need is Love

THE OFFICE PARTY
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gif> 

By C.W. Nevius 

San Francisco Chronicle - Sunday, December 17, 2006

Attend your spouse's company shindig;

infidelity experts warn of  'workplace affair on steroids'

You know the drill for your spouse's holiday office party. There will be
stale snacks, tipsy co-workers and that guy with the dumb jokes who
always corners you. Wouldn't it be better for everyone if you just
stayed home and let your partner have some fun?

In a word -- no. That's the advice of relationship counsellors.

"Tell all the spouses! Go to the party!'' says Diane Sollee, a marriage
therapist who founded SmartMarriages.com. 

"The Christmas party is the workplace affair on steroids,'' warns Peggy
Vaughan, author of "The Monogamy Myth'' and a former corporate
consultant who founded DearPeggy.com. "It is playing with dynamite is
what it is.''

Really? Just the old office gang, getting together for a few adult
beverages and a laugh? What could possibly go wrong?

Well, there's the obvious stuff. A Canon Copiers survey last year of its
technicians in the United Kingdom found that 32 percent of service calls
over the holidays were "to repair copier glass that had been sat on'' or
"to fix paper jams that revealed evidence of embarrassing images.''

Ah yes, copier high jinks, a staple of holiday parties. But that's not
where the unfortunate behaviour ends. An independent survey of 1,000
office workers in the United Kingdom last year, cited by Canon, found
that one-third of respondents have "kissed or gone home with a
colleague.'' Now we're getting into problems that could last long after
the holiday festivities are over.

University of California psychology Professor Dacher Keltner suggests
you take a look at the numbers. His best estimate from the research he's
seen indicates that "35 to 60 percent of couples will experience
infidelity.'' A conservative estimate would be the University of
Chicago's "American Sexual Behavior'' survey of married men and women,
which found that 36 percent (22 percent of them men and 14 percent
women) would have extramarital affairs.

And like everyone else who studies relationships, Keltner says the
Christmas party is a setup for problems.

"You've got a collective gathering,'' he says, "there's the eggnog,
you're wearing a Santa hat ...''

OK, but aren't we getting a little paranoid here? After all, it is just
a once-a-year party? Not really, says Sollee. She likes to cite the late
Shirley Glass, a Baltimore psychologist who was one of the nation's
foremost experts on infidelity.

Glass noted the rise in the number of women in the workplace and the
opportunity for interaction. She jokingly suggested that office
buildings post a sign out front reading: "Danger, men and women working
together here.'

 

That's why Sollee suggests that spouses show up at the office regularly,
from the holiday party to the company picnic.

"It's just like war,'' she says. "It is harder to shoot people you know.
It is like going in and marking your territory.''

And if you suspect your spouse is having an affair, you should
definitely go to the Christmas party, says author Ruth Houston. She
wrote "Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs.''

Seriously? 829 signs?

"Well, they are divided into 21 categories,'' Houston says.

Oh, good. Because otherwise it was starting to sound a little obsessive.

Houston is a holiday party militant. If you suspect your spouse, she
says, you can't afford not to attend.

"If anything is going on, it will be evident,'' says Houston. "Someone
may be overly friendly, excessively curious, or even hostile.''

Houston also shared her special office party "hot tip'' -- go to the
restroom as often as possible.

"Make a couple of trips,'' Houston says. "You never know what you might
hear. Go into a stall and hang out. Somebody might say something they
aren't supposed to say, like, 'Did you see her face when his wife walked
in?' ''

So, have we completely taken the fun out of the holiday party? With 829
telltale signs to worry about, some spouses may be afraid to reach for a
chicken wing for fear of setting off an alarm.

With that in mind, Cal's Keltner offers a contrarian view by referencing
the work of psychologist Adam Phillips, who wrote "On Flirtation,'' a
series of essays on why happily married people flirt.

Keltner says Phillips' premise is that, "Romantic bonds are just
fundamentally ambiguous, so we are constantly flirting. The idea is that
we are playfully, rather than seriously, doing something that is
universal and that by acknowledging that, it may in fact be beneficial
to flirt.''

So how would that apply to the holiday office bash?

"By that theory,'' he says, "the Christmas party is actually the glue
that holds marriages together.''

So there's your talking point. All you have to do is convince your
spouse. And I'd like to wish you the best of luck.

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News & Info

<http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20312376-421,00.html> 

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/header2_Movember
.jpg> 

 

Together we have been able to raise over 5.3 MILLION DOLLARS in
Australia and $750,000 in New Zealand and an enormous amount of
awareness for men's health issues. 

___________________________________________________

Parents know what drug use can do to their childrens lives.

Check out the warning

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20964191-5007146,00.html

________________________________________________________________________
____

Microsoft dilemma !!

Open a new Word document and type:
= rand (200,99)
then hit "enter"
Wait for three seconds and look again...
Not even Microsoft people can explain that one 
Bet you can't either 
________________________________________________________

The Fatherhood Foundation wishes all our readers a very blessed
Christmas and a Happy New Year. 

Love and best wishes from Warwick & Alison Marsh and Ron Hellyer, who
bring the fathersonline to you each week, and members of the Fatherhood
Foundation Board: Phil Latz, Geoff Moses and Mark Sewell. 

Special thanks to all those who contribute articles and help with
proofing etc. 

We would also like to extend huge appreciation to those who have helped,
encouraged and financially supported the work of the Fatherhood
Foundation. 

We look forward to a year of growth in 2007.

<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Christmas_wiseme
n.gif> 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dad's Prayer

 

<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Big%20rock%20man
.jpg> 

 

Dear God

Help me figure out what my big rocks are.

Help me put them in the container first.

Let me fit everything else around the things that are really important

because I want to make sure that first things come first.

After all, a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his
possessions.

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us
<http://www.ausheart.com.au/fathers/about/index.html>  

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. 
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source
of harm. 

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in
fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible,
involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their
children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation
Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund 
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax
deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558 

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the
Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the
Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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