Subject: Listening to your Heart
From: <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 31 Dec 2006 08:50:42 +1100

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Issue 228 - 1st January, 2007 	Go to our website Here
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*	Hello Warwick
*	Grandads
*	Laughter
*	Single Dads 
*	Special Feature
*	Thought of the Week
*	All You Need is Love
*	News & Info
*	Dad's Prayer
*	Help Us

Hello Warwick

 
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Just as today is the first day of the rest of your life, so is the New
Year 2007 the first year of the rest of your life. Why not make it the
best year?

What do I mean by 'the best'? Well, make it what you want it to be.
There are three types of people in the world. Those who 'make' things
happen, those who 'watch' things happen and those who say 'what
happened?'. A good father is one who makes things happen, but they have
to be the 'right' things.

Therefore the question before us today is, "How do we make the right
things happen for our families and ourselves in 2007, and make sure that
at the end of the year, we are not scratching our heads and thinking,
'What happened in 2007 ?"

We are all captains of a ship, charting a course across the sea of life.
As fathers, this captaincy contains even more responsibility, as we are
responsible for our families. It is all the more critical that we chart
the right course.  How do you chart the right course?

Firstly you must reach down deep inside. In the proverbs it says, 'Guard
your heart with all diligence, for out of your heart flow the issues of
life.'  Steve Biddulph, author of 'Stories of Manhood', which is a
collection of short stories which are 'journeys into the hidden hearts
of men' says, "We have four essential aspects to our being - work,
family, community and spirit. Neglect any one of these and you will fall
over in the slightest breeze."

Last week we talked about planning your life and the need to establish
what are the really important goals in your life and making sure that
they are the first in place, not the last. If we don't establish the
really important things first, we will get swamped with the trivia and
busyness of life and never do the things we really want to do. The
important goals we listed are:

1) Spiritual Goals

2) Relationship Goals

3) Integrity & Character Goals

4) Financial Goals      

5) Self & Self-Development Goals

How do we decide what is really important? We must first acknowledge
that we are spiritual beings and therefore develop spiritual goals for
our life. Sting writes in one of his songs, "We are spirits in a
material world'. Jesus said, 'Seek first the kingdom of God and all
these things will be added to you besides'. Strongly related to our
spiritual goals are our integrity / character goals. The hardest thing
to be is completely honest with ourselves. I find myself lying to myself
all the time. Hence the famous words of advice by William Shakespeare to
Hamlet, "To thing own self be true and as night follows day you can be
false to no man."
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/man_mirror.jpg> 

That is why we must reach down deep inside our hearts and pursue what
makes our heart sing in a spirit of integrity. Thieves and murderers
have goals too. The key thing is to have the right goals. The right
goals come from having a right heart. That is why prayer and mediation
are so important. We must still ourselves in the busyness of life to
hear the voice of our father in heaven, because only then do we know the
truth and of course it is only the truth that can set you free.

Lovework

Stop and listen to your heart. Wait for the still small voice. Try to
figure out what makes your heart sing. Plan your life and relationise
your plan

Make 2007 the best year ever.

Yours for a singing heart 

Warwick Marsh

 ___________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father
of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years
to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public
speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/man%20thinking.j
pg> 

To be successful in the family

the father must have the welfare 

of each family member at heart

and his decisions and plans 

must be based upon 

what is best for them.

Helen Andelin

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Laughter

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/harley-biker.jpg
> A man was riding his Harley along a Sydneybeach when suddenly the sky
clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the  Lord said, "Because
you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I  will grant you one
wish." 

 The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to New Zealand so I can
ride over anytime I want."  The Lord said, "Your request is
materialistic, think of the enormous  challenges for that kind of
undertaking; the supports required  reaching the bottom of the Pacific
and the concrete and steel it would  take! It will nearly exhaust
several natural resources. I can do it,  but it is hard for me to
justify your desire for worldly things. Take  a little more time and
think of something that could possibly help  mankind." 

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I
wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she
feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent
treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong,
and how I can make a woman truly happy." 

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?" 

_________________________________________________________

New Year Safety message from the Fatherhood Foundation

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Single Dads 

 

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ney.jpg> 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wishing You a Great New Year

From Barry Williams

Lone Fathers Association Australia

Hi to all Dads throughout Australia, those who were lucky enough to have
precious time with their loved children, and to those dads who were not
that lucky either through family court rulings or through just
spitefulness from their ex-partner.

We in Lone Fathers Association Australia are thinking of you, and
understand your feelings, frustration and sorrow. We want to ensure you
that we will continue to lobby and fight even harder in this New Year to
bring about massive changes to the cruel system that has been allowing a
second stolen generation of children from their dads.
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g> 

On a brighter note, there is reason for hope as many changes in family
law are on the way. This last year has paved the way for new pathways
for these changes. Some are the new Family Relationship Centres and the
child support changes that come into effect in 2007 and 2008. Although
they are not all we wanted, they are a great start, and god willing we
can improve on them.

Try to think positive

And remember your children will always love you.

Barry Williams

Lone Fathers Association Australia

www.lonefathers.com.au <http://www.lonefathers.com.au/>   

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Special Feature

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The Battle for Balance 

By Alby Schultz Liberal MHR for Hume 

Posted Monday, 2 October 2006

In his May 2005 report 'In the Best Interests of Children' Professor
Patrick Parkinson recommended long overdue reform of Australia's child
support scheme. It is clear that the scheme, dating back to 1988,
however well intentioned, has lost its relevance to families. It can no
longer meet its objectives.

During the past couple of years I have conducted some of Australia's
most comprehensive case study research on this issue. I have now
published this research as The Battle for Balance.

An alarming number of parents, mostly fathers, are not only being denied
a significant place in their child's life by the Family Court, but they
are then being driven to desperation, and in some cases suicide, by
one-sided and discriminatory legislation and the relentless bureaucracy
of the Child Support Agency. 

Professor Parkinson and his taskforce advocated a scheme under which the
costs of children are first worked-out based upon the parents' combined
income, with those costs then distributed equally between the mother and
the father in accordance with their respective shares of that combined
income and levels of contact with their children. The resident parent is
expected to pay his or her share of the cost while caring for the child.
On the other hand, the non-resident parent pays his or her share in the
form of child support. Whilst in the past the resident parent has
received a much more generous entitlement to self-support expenses, the
new scheme would allow both parents an equal amount for themselves.

The major changes to the child support formula will start on 1 July
2008, with the Government having made some changes in July this year and
further changes in July 2007.

Perhaps the most important element of the recommendations is a change to
the way in which the "capacity to earn" principle is applied. Capacity
to earn is the most contentious element of the current scheme and the
one most damaging to parents, and indirectly to their children. At
present the Child Support Agency has the power to assess a person's
capacity to earn based on their pre-separation employment status. So, if
a man is earning $65,000 as a structural engineer at the time of his
separation, the Child Support Agency deems that man is still able to
earn $65,000 in the months and years that follow. The agency ignores
factors including a person's physical or mental state, their personal
aspirations to begin a new career and tellingly their desire to work
reduced hours in order to spend more time with their children. Capacity
to earn is enforced rigorously by the Child Support Agency. Often it
leads to the payer amassing debts to their child and to the Commonwealth
in late payment penalties. In some cases, the debt remains even long
after the child has grown up and left home. In these cases, the debt
becomes due to the other parent, rather than the child. It is these
sorts of situations which can lead to severe depression, anxiety and in
extreme cases suicide. These sorts of emotions not only affect the
parent but also their child or children.

The Parkinson Report recommends that the Child Support Agency be limited
in its ability to increase an assessment based on capacity to earn. The
agency must consider, in making its decision, the person's state of
health and their own caring responsibilities. Where the agency declines
to make a determination in a capacity to earn case due to the complexity
of the issues raised, the agency will be required to refer the matter to
a court. This change, in addition to the new formula, can only ensure a
fairer system for all.

However I believe the reforms should go further.

If capacity to earn is to remain an enforceable issue, the rule should
be applied equally to both parents. If both parents are capable of work,
they should both be assessed on that capacity. The issue of how child
support money is spent needs also to be addressed. There is a severe
lack of accountability on the part of resident parents, which further
inflames tensions. Legislative reform will only go so far. The
administration by the Agency also needs vigorous reform. Many of the
thousands of cases reported to me include complaints about the knowledge
and attitude of call centre staff and a perceived abuse of power by
decision makers.

In a system where more than 90% of payers are men, who in most cases are
unsupported and in unfamiliar territory, it is unthinkable that the
Child Support Agency staff is 72% female. Worse is the fact that the
people on the front line are the lowest paid and the least experienced
staff. They are not trained to deal with conflict. The majority of staff
are single therefore not easily able to empathise with parents' problems
and lives. The Child Support Agency, like many Government agencies, is a
customer relations nightmare that needs to be addressed. addition to
reforming the law, we need to reform the way in which it is
administered. We need to eliminate the bias which so clearly exists. We
need to recognise that child support is not about money. It is about
people. Most importantly it is about ensuring both parents meet their
responsibility of supporting their children in a fair and equitable
environment.

The ABS advises that this is not the most recent CPI information
available. From March quarter 2004 to March quarter 2005, the Education
Group for the CPI rose 6.2 per cent with the corresponding ALL groups
CPI rising by 2.4 per cent. (5) A parent's liability under the Child
Support Scheme ceases when the child turns 18, or on the last day of the
full-time secondary year in which the child turns 18. A court exercising
jurisdiction under the Family Law Act 1975 can make an order for
maintenance of a young person over 18 if satisfied that the order is
necessary to enable the young person to complete his or her education or
because of his or her physical or mental disability. These orders are
made on a discretionary basis, taking into account the parents' relative
capacity to provide for the young person, and the young person's
capacity to provide for his or her own support.

The Ministerial Taskforce on Child Support recently completed
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g> a detailed review of the Child Support Scheme and has presented its
report, In the Best Interests of Children, to Government. The report
includes some recommendations relating to young people over 18. The
Government will fully consider the report's recommendations before
responding.

© The National Forum and contributors 1999-2006. All rights reserved.

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Thought of the Week

 
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.gif> 

Guard your heart

with all diligence

for out of your heart

flow the issues of life.

King Solomon

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All You Need is Love

 

More ResearchConfirms High Quality Marriages
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/couple-together.
jpg> 

Good for You

Mon Dec 18  

University of Virginia Researcher Finds High-Quality Marriages Help to
Calm Nerves

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va., Dec. 18 (AScribe Newswire) -- A University of
Virginia neuroscientist has found that women under stress who hold their
husbands' hands show signs of immediate relief, which can clearly be
seen on their brain scans. "This is the first study of the neurological
reactions to human touch in a threatening situation, and the first study
to measure how the brain facilitates the health-enhancing properties of
close social

relationships," says Dr. James A. Coan, author of the study, which is
published in the December 2006 issue of the journal Psychological
Science.

Visit:
http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01832
.x
<http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.0183
2.x>  

Coan, an assistant professor in the UVa. Neuroscience Graduate Program
and the Department of Psychology, conducted a study involving several
couples who rated themselves as highly satisfied with their marriages.
Coan and colleagues designed a functional MRI (magnetic resonance
imaging) study in which 16 married women were subjected to the threat of
a very mild electric shock while they by turns held their husband's
hand, the hand of a stranger (male) or no hand at all. The MRI was able
to show how these women's brains responded to this handholding while in
a threatening situation.

The results showed a large decrease in the brain response to threat as a
function of spouse handholding, and a limited decrease in this response
as a function of stranger handholding. Moreover, spouse handholding
effects varied as a function of marital quality, with women in the very
highest quality marriages benefiting from a very powerful decrease in
threat-related brain activity, including a strong decrease in the
emotional (affective) component of the brain's pain processing circuits.

Coan is expanding his functional MRI studies in collaboration with the
UVa Department of Radiology, to continue his exploration of the
neuroscience of emotion and close social relationships.

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News & Info

<http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20312376-421,00.html> 

Family Court Fights Back Over Bias Claims
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By Liz Porter 

December 24, 2006

Stung by criticism that it is biased, the Family Court is hitting back
by keeping detailed records of its decisions on parenting.

For the first time in its 31-year history, the court is collecting
statistics, including the percentage of arrangements involving or
excluding fathers.

"One of the things that frustrates me most is people saying that the
court is biased, or that there is a systemic bias against fathers," the
Chief Justice of the Family Court, Diana Bryant, told The Sunday Age.

She said the court had started documenting the number of shared parental
responsibility arrangements and the number of orders where a mother or
father was given sole responsibility for children.

Reasons for the exclusion of one parent are also being recorded, with
the categories including "family violence", "mental illness", "substance
abuse", "distance" and "entrenched conflict".

"With the parliamentary inquiry recently there was a lot of discussion
about what the court was and wasn't doing," Justice Bryant said.

"There were a lot of people saying the court was biased. But nobody
pulled out a judgement and said 'the result was wrong'. It was all about
impressions and rhetoric and the court itself wasn't really able to
respond well to that because we don't have the data."

Is this unprecedented fact-gathering exercise an effort to combat
allegations by the Blackshirts and other men's groups that the court
discriminates against men?

The Chief Justice said she would not describe the project in such terms.
But she said that, in the past, the court had been unable to refute
criticism with statistical proof.

The parenting order data will be posted on the court website, along with
links to the 850 judgements handed down each year.

"So (it would say) here is the data, and if you want to read about the
cases where there was no contact (with one parent), read them," Justice
Bryant said.

Data would also be collected on the amount of time children of separated
parents spent with each parent. In cases of little or no contact with
one parent, reasons would also be noted. 

Comparisons would also be made between orders made by judges and those
made "by consent" of the parents.

The first results should be ready by June 30.

Justice Bryant said the court figures could not be taken as the basis
for generalisations about the fate of Australian children after their
parents' divorce because the cases that went to trial in the Family
Court comprised only 7 per cent of the court's case load and represented
the most intractable, complex and difficult disputes.

Many separated parents also resolved joint sharing of their children
amicably and with no court involvement. "These are parenting cases which
involve allegations of sexual abuse or substance issues," she said.
"Mental illness is also a big issue in many cases, as is entrenched
conflict."

She said the court was often a scapegoat for people's unwillingness to
compromise.

"People always want to blame someone for it. We get the hardest cases,
and some of them are awful," she said.

The Family Court is also planning a February-March blitz on a backlog of
1490 Melbourne cases awaiting a final trial. All nine Melbourne judges
will be sitting, with three extra judges being brought from interstate
to help clear the list.

Delays in the court increased in the 2005-06 financial year, with 90 per
cent of defended cases now taking up to 26.9 months before a final
judgement, more than two months longer than in 2004-05.

But the Chief Justice said that the number of "pending" cases had
dropped over the past two years, from 2100 in January last year, to 1550
last October and 1490 now.

She said the backlog of older cases was being cleared so judges would be
free to start working on the new, "less adversarial trials" - a system
that applies to all cases that began after July 1 this year.

Under this system, one judge would run each case from the beginning,
helping the parties narrow down the issues in dispute and making
hearings shorter.

Justice Bryant said having different judges at different interim
hearings was identified as one of the many factors that bothered clients
of the court.

Working at the bench

The long wait

In 2005-2006

: The average time between application and first hearing was 6.5 weeks

: 91 per cent of cases completed within 27 months.

: 50 per cent of cases took between 3.7 and 22.4 months.

On the books

Cases pending

January 2005: 2100

December 2005: 1725

October 2006: 1550

December 2006: 1490

http://familycourt.gov.au <http://familycourt.gov.au/>  

 __________________________________________

World's Oldest Mum Gives Bith at 67.

A Spanish mother gave birth to twins. Her first babies.

Read more:

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20994154-1702,00.html
<http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20994154-1702,00.html> 

___________________________________________________________

Letters

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

Christmas is a time for family. Tragically around the world there are
many millions of good dads who have been taken away from their families.
This is a human tragedy on an unprecedented scale. It is no surprise
that for every woman who suicides eight men die from suicide. 

If you know any divorced dads, especially if they have been quiet, check
up on them. Make sure that on Christmas day and the few days following,
that they are not alone, grieving for their stolen children. Christmas
is the time when the most people suicide. 

If you are feeling the pain yourself this Christmas, remember, suicide
will prove nothing and leave your kids without a dad. You'll be just
another one of the thousands of victims. Another forgotten statistic.
Remember, your children will eventually grow and want you, and we want
you too. You and thousands like you are the men who are turning this
Jihad against men around. 

And it is a Jihad we are fighting. The FemiNasties (nasty feminists)
can't be reasoned with, they work long and dedicatedly for the 'cause',
are driven by hate and they have budgets of billions of taxpayer dollars
behind them. 

But the evil that drives this tragedy and destroys so many lives is
slowly, but certainly, being exposed. Just as our generation looks at
Hitler as the ultimate example of evil, today's children will see this
man-hating religion as the worst example of (wo)man's inhumanity to man.
But their time is coming to a close. Around the world, more and more men
like you are doing our part in the struggle. RADAR recently stopped the
progress of a paper that would encourage laws that assume men to be
guilty until proven innocent. In Belgium and several US States
legislation that encourages shared parenting has been passed. Glenn
Sacks in USA has created a huge movement and stopped several dangerous
attacks, and KRights (kids rights) radio is syndicated across the US. In
Australia Fathers4Equality has grown by 25% in the last year alone and
other groups have grown by similar numbers. Radio show DadsOnTheAir.NET
has been rebuilt and now has a talented team and is building momentum
rapidly. Dads in Distress continues to save lives and their founder Tony
Miller is a rock that many FemiNasty waves have crashed against. Men's
Rights with Sue and Reg Price and the SPCA (shared parenting council),
Lindsay and continue the good fight. 

The biggest recent news was the despicable High Court decision that said
that a woman's "bedroom secrets" are no business of the law, but a man
who does the same thing will have the C$A sucking his bank account dry.
She can keep secrets but he can't. A child has the right to know both
their parents, yet DNA testing is virtually illegal for men, while free
for women. A child's right to know and be cared for by their natural
parents can only be protected if DNA testing is automatic at birth. In
the New Year our politicians will be voting on this, and we will be
there fighting for children and fairness.

So for now, MERRY CHRISTMAS and THANKYOU. This year we have achieved a
lot, considering how few resources we have... but we have the greatest
strength of all.

The FemiNasties are motivated by hate, we are motivated by love. We are
a movement of love. The greatest love of all is a parent's love for
their kids. That's why we are here. That's why we will win. Each week
our memberships grow, and we get more organised. Each week, more
FemiNasties die of old age. 

Love beats Hate... Youth beats Age, Truth beats Lies. 

We will win, for the sake of our children... (We can't afford not to) 

James Adams

http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org
<http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/>  

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

To activists and supporters of children's rights

What an amazing admission! ... in a Family Court's Christmas PR
initiative. ...that the FC doesn't know how many parents it has excluded
from children's lives!. That they will now respond by looking into what
they have been doing for the last 31 years! Just when excluded parents
from all over the world are enduing heightened grief  for their
children. 

The fact that Christmas is so important to Children and family causes us
all to focus on the horror foisted on our children by the Family Court.

And they trot out the PR lie they've been using for years ...

"Justice Bryant said the court figures could not be taken as the basis
for generalisations about the fate of Australian children after their
parents' divorce because the cases that went to trial in the Family
Court comprised only 7 per cent of the court's case load and represented
the most intractable, complex and difficult disputes. "

This, in essence make the outrageous suggestion that Consent orders are
consensual, that the court process, that expense and outcomes have
nothing to do with the advice offered by lawyers to parents that would
otherwise fight for the right to be more involved with their children. 

And this ! .... " Comparisons would also be made between orders made by
judges and those made "by consent" of the parents" What? ...as if the
decisions people are forced into should be a rule of thumb.

They even claim the number of people who avoid the Family Court
altogether as proof of its success!! This is breathtakingly absurd and
further admission of their failure to deliver justice to children and
their otherwise excluded parents.

If there's a positive in this article it's that at last we have
convinced the FC that it has to at least pay lip service to the notion
of accountability.

Regards

Simon

 

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Dad's Prayer

 

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Dear God

Finding what makes my heart sing,

Takes more than I can feel.

Finding what makes my heart sing,

Brings a challenge to my mind.

Finding what makes my heart sing,

Requires truth way down deep inside.

Finding what makes my heart sing,

Brings pleasure to my life.

And life is too short not to be enjoyed . . .

Help me find my joy by 
listening to your voice.

Help me find my joy by 
making the right choice

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us
<http://www.ausheart.com.au/fathers/about/index.html>  

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. 
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source
of harm. 

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in
fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible,
involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their
children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation
Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund 
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax
deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558 

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the
Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the
Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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