Subject: Overcoming Blind Spots
From: <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 4 Feb 2007 09:19:27 +1100

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Issue 233 - 5 th February, 2007 	Go to our website Here
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*	Hello Alison
*	Grandads
*	Laughter
*	Single Dads 
*	Special Feature
*	Thought of the Week
*	All You Need is Love
*	News & Info
*	Dad's Prayer
*	Help Us

Hello Alison

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Truck%20squash.j
pg> 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few years ago I remember driving pretty fast along a three lane
highway. I was about to change lanes in order to make a right hand turn
and quickly checked in my rear view mirror. Nothing there! I went to
make the lane change but hesitated for a split second. I was glad I did.
Out of nowhere came a massive truck that would have killed me had I not
hesitated for that split second. The truck was in my blind spot.  Not
being aware of your blind spots can cause great pain and heartache.

Our eyes have blind spots. Each of our eyes contains an area that has no
photoreceptors because it is occupied by the optic nerve. You may not
have noticed these areas because they are on opposite sides of your
visual field. However, this exercise is designed to isolate your blind
spot and you will be amazed at the results.

Instructions: Close your left eye and fixate your right eye on the cross
in the first diagram. If your eye is about 30 cm away from the monitor,
you should notice that the round dot disappears. This distance may vary
according to the screen resolution you have set.

  <http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/blndspt1.gif> 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You may be surprised to see that the dot is replaced, not by a black
region, but rather blank white space. The brain simply 'fills in' the
most probable stimulus (in this case, a uniform white area) where there
is none.

Stephen R Covey had tremendous success with his 'Seven Habits of Highly
Effective People' ©1990. Recently someone wrote an article called 'Seven
Habits of Highly Defective People'. This article takes a light-hearted,
irreverent look at analysing the habits of the people who do not have
such great prosperity. Chronically less than successful people suffer
from seven diseases (or habits) including:

- Playing the victim

- Failure to see the bigger picture

- A lack of priorities

- Destructive competition

- Blind spots

- A lack of creativity

- Resistance to change

It is so easy to be less than successful. If we always blame our
circumstances or our upbringing, we never fully take responsibility for
our own life. We must become the change we seek. True change starts with
the individual who takes responsibility for change. All of us are part
of a family in one way or another. We are part of a community, or maybe
we are committed to a local church. All of us are part of a nation, and
all of us make up the world. The world does not revolve around us and we
need each other. We must see the big picture in everything we do.

Goal setting is the foundation key for success. If we don't know where
we are going, we probably will never get there. Plan your work and work
your plan. Developing your priorities in life, business, church and
family are critical for your success. Don't compete with others for the
sake of bolstering your own ego. Always go for win-win situations. Love
your neighbour as yourself and avoid destructive competition. Work on
being creative and innovative in every thing you do. If you can't be
creative, work with people who are. It might rub off. Don't just work
harder - think smarter, and whatever you do, be open to change. Our
world is changing faster than ever before. Not all the changes are good
and you must make a judgement about right and wrong at all times, but
don't resist change if the change will improve things.

Lastly, and most importantly, work out what your blind spots are and
deal with them at all costs. The trouble with blind spots is that most
people don't know they have them until it is too late. You might have
blind spots in relationships with your wife and children. ie areas of
weakness or inconsistencies that you just don't know about. Sometimes at
our weekly family dinners every Monday night the conversation gets
heated. Sometimes I have to apologise because I am wrong. Sometimes
others have to do the same. Our wives and children are great at pointing
out our blind spots if we are brave enough to listen.  

The workplace can also be a great place to expose and improve or remove
blind spots. Our employers will be very happy if we do so. 

Our friendship networks in the community or church can also be places
where we can, through positive relationships, get rid of our blind
spots.

Every Friday morning I meet with four or five men for breakfast. This is
a great accountability group. Mostly we talk, sometimes we pray. It is a
great time to share our hearts, be transparent and open to the
revelation of our blind spots. 'Better are the wounds of a friend than
the kisses of an enemy.' Such a group can provide a positive place of
healing for the heart, and a blind spot removal par excellence. After
all, getting hit by a truck is not a nice experience for any of us.

Lovework

Work on your blind spots as a father with your spouse and family. Ask
your children how you can improve. They won't hesitate to tell you. Why
not get together in a regular men's group to hang out, talk and
challenge each other in the art of life.

Yours for less blind spots

Warwick Marsh

PS Great news! Last week the Fatherhood Foundation received an offer of
a $30,000 interest free loan over 5 years. This will go towards
purchase/setup of a new office.  If we are to go ahead with a purchase
we will need to raise much more.

Would anyone else be able to help us with an interest free loan for 5
years? Any amount from $5,000 to $100,000 would be fantastic.

Please email me at 

[email-masked] <mailto:[email-masked]>  

Kind regards

Warwick Marsh

 ___________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father
of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years
to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public
speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

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Better are the wounds 
of a friend

than the kisses of an enemy.

Proverbs

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Laughter

 
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jpg> 

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.

Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small
box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal
of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought
his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn,
and into the hole he goooes."

__________________________________________________________

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old
leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I
found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With
astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
underwear."

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Single Dads 

 

On Tue 23 Jan 2007 Geoff Holland was
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Phillip%20Ruddoc
k.jpg> lucky enough (thanks to Charlie McKillop) to have a one-to-one
meeting with the Attorney-General, Philip Ruddock, lasting 45 mins, and
later in the day was part of a round-table discussion with about 15
people including the Attorney-General.

For the next two weeks we will have parts of the paper that Geoff
Holland presented to the Attorney General.

Geoff Holland

Equal Parenting Movement

[email-masked] 

 

Part 1

Brief Overview of Failure of the Family Court System

1. Family Court system policy denies the rights of parents as it says it
is only interested in the best interests of children.  But in denying
the rights of parents and marginalizing one of the parents in asymmetric
Court Orders, it acts against the best interests of the children.

2. The Family Court system greatly amplifies conflict between separated
parents due to:

a. Handing down asymmetrical residency orders which significantly
marginalize one of the parents, together with a skewed property
distribution and Child Support obligations when the non-custodial parent
is available and willing to put in the time.

b. Being structured as a highly formal, aggressive adversarial system 

c. The Family Law Industry which is rewarded by increasing levels of
conflict (I have seen solicitors actively undermine so-called
'conciliation conferences').

d. Maintaining a policy where Mums are rewarded for creating conflict
because of the Family Court policy that any evidence of conflict (even
if only from the Mum) will eliminate the option of Equal Parenting Time.
With this policy, the Family Court is sending the wrong signal.

e. The enormous expense - typically $30,000-$50,000.

f. The lengthy time - two years or more - of a Family Court case.

g. The uncertainty of the outcome of a case.

3. The Family Court system amplifies conflict between separated parents
so much that the chances of future reconciliation (cooperative and
communicative friends) is put in jeopardy, and often causes irreparable
damage to an already strained relationship.  But the real damage is the
emotional and psychological damage to the children of the separated
parents.

4. Marginalizing one of the parents also has a negative impact on the
wellbeing of the children.

5. For these reasons the Family Court system cannot be said to serve the
best interests of children.

6. We need to devise an effective alternative model such as the Family
Relationship Centre network which minimises cases going to the Family
Court system

 

Equal Parenting Movement 

tel (07)4055 9995   mob 0404 376 991 

PO Box 263E, Earlville, Qld 4870   

[email-masked]  

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Special Feature

 
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ital_bed.jpg> 

 

 

 

 

 

A risky business being male

Jill Stark, The Age January 13, 2007, page 14.

Top 5 causes of injury-related death

Falls                                 30%

Suicide                             22%

Transport related               17%

Other unintentional             17%

Poisoning by drugs               8%

Top 5 causes of injury

Falls                                 36%

Transport related                14%

Self harm                           7%

Self-harm                           7%

Assault                              6%

Poisoning                           2%

Key findings

73% of transport related deaths are male, 33% of them aged between 15
and 34.

79% of suicide deaths are male. Highest risk are 30 to 34 year-olds.

73% of assault victims are male, mostly 20 to 24 year-olds.

Australia's young men are at far greater risk of dying in a traffic
accident, committing suicide or being assaulted than any other sector of
the community, Federal Government figures reveal.  Offering a stark
snapshot of the nation's mortality and injury rates, reports released
yesterday show that 73 per cent of transport-related deaths are among
men - 33 per cent of whom are between 15 and 34.

Young men aged 20 to 24 are seven times more likely to die in traffic
accidents than women of the same age.  The Australian Institute of
Health and Welfare report - compiled from 2003-04 figures - also
highlights the tragedy of suicide among young men. Overall, suicide is
on the decline but remains second only to falls as as the most common
cause of injury-related deaths. In 79 per cent of cases, the victims are
male. At the highest risk are 30-34-year-olds - rates are nearly five
times more than women of the same age.

Men in rural areas are also more likely to commit suicide than those
living in cities.  Violent crime remains a man's world, with 73 per cent
of all assault cases perpetrated against men, with the highest rates
among 20-24-year-olds - nearly four times the rate in women the same
age. Male murder rates are twice as high as those for women.

Men are mostly attacked by strangers in a pub or the street; women are
generally (60 per cent) assaulted by a spouse or partner in their own
home. George Patton, VicHealth professor of adolescent health research,
said high-risk behaviour was common in young men who were on the
"margins of society".

"We're seeing a harder core of young males who are engaged in this kind
of violence who are also likely to be the victims of motor vehicle
injuries," he said. "These tend to be, very often, young males who are
not well-connected socially to their families, not linked into education
or employment.  They still have significant problems with substance
abuse and alcohol, they're engaged with anti-social behaviour and crime
and some of the (prevention) measures that have been taken are less
likely to be effective."

Professor Patton said that from school age, women tended to handle
conflict differently to men and it was no surprise the highest rates of
self-harm injuries were among young women between 15 and 19. "Self-harm
is a way of dealing with things that are difficult, emotions of
unhappiness, anxiety that become really prominent in girls in their
early teens," he said.

Barbara Hocking, chief executive of SANE Australia, said men should be
encouraged to talk about their feelings.She said people seeking help
could now get consultations with psychologists through
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/redneck_lawnmowe
r_3.jpg> Medicare.  De-Arnee Schmidt from the Traffic Accident
Commission said a mix of inexperience, peer pressure and distraction
raised the chances of young men being involved in a car accident.  The
report also recorded some of 2003-04's more unusual injuries, including
541 people who were injured by lawnmowers, five bitten by rats, seven
attacked by crocodiles, five people injured by venomous plants, 29
lightning strikes and 14 injuries from poisonous centipedes or
millipedes.

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Thought of the Week

 
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Blind-Spot_large
.jpg> 

 

Blind Spots.

If you don't check your mirrors

you're going to crash.

Martin Vine

www.urbanlife.net.au  

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All You Need is Love

 

MARRIAGE WORKS EVEN IF IT'S OUT OF STYLE

22nd January 2007 The Daily News (Los Angeles)

BY TOM PURCELL, Guest Columnist

ALL right, ladies, the gig is up. It's time for all of us to get
married, including you.

I refer to The New York Times' recent report. After sorting through U.S.
census data, The Times determined that for the first time in American
history the majority of women, 51 percent, are living without a husband.

The story tore through the media like a lightning bolt. The storyline
was clear: Women are finally free and independent now, and the last
thing they need is some sloppy spouse who leaves his socks lying all
over the house.
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Man%20sox.jpg> 

Well, nuts to that. Look, ladies, deciding not to marry for your own
well-being is one thing, but it is we you're not marrying in the
process. Your decision is killing single men - literally.

Single men partake in more risky behaviour than married men. We eat
badly, smoke more, and avoid doctors' offices. We die younger. And we're
far more likely to wake up in a pile of crumpled newspapers still
clutching the tequila bottle we began sipping from two days before. The
reason why is not complicated. We are social animals. Men and women are
very different creatures, but we were made for each other. The Catholics
call it complementarity - a man and woman, in union and harmony,

Round each other out.

Men need to be rounded out, too. Take dust. Because our brains take in
less sensory detail than a woman's, we don't notice dust the way women
do. Thus, married men tend to live in orderly, dust-free homes, whereas
single men, says P.J. O'Rourke, clean up their place about once every
girlfriend.

Though it's not like single women are faring much better. Admit it,
ladies: You need us, too. Sleeping next to a burping, snoring lug of a
husband may not be the stuff dreams are made of, but it sure beats
sleeping alone - especially when you hear a prowler rattling the door
knob in the middle of the night.

I know The Times is eager for a more progressive society to take hold -
one in which the stodgy traditional marriage is kicked to the wayside -
but the fact is marriage, imperfect though it is, is good for us.

Married people are happier, says the Pew Research Centre. They enjoy
life more - they enjoy sex more, too. Children raised by married couples
fare better. Society fares better. Successful civilizations are built on
the stability that traditional marriage brings.

But despite these simple and obvious truths, we keep trying to reinvent
our nature. We keep trying to prove there are better ways to fulfil our
simple needs - keep trying to leave every option open, so that we can be
'free' and 'independent' forever.

And we end up alone.

I can't imagine what old folks homes will be like 40 years from now.
There will be an unprecedented number of elderly single people living
alone. No children or grandchildren will visit them - no spouse will
care for them. I wonder if The Times will do a front-page piece on that
trend, too.

Tom Purcell is a nationally syndicated humour columnist.

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News & Info

<http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20312376-421,00.html> 

HEALTHY LIFESTYLE
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Healthy%20Man.jp
g> 

Risk Factors for Heart Disease 

?Risk factors? for heart disease are characteristics that increase our
chance of developing heart disease. 

These include:  

- smoking 

- high blood cholesterol 

- physical inactivity 

- diabetes 

- high blood pressure 

- being overweight 

- depression, social isolation and lack of social support. 

Being male and having a family history of early death from heart disease
are also risk factors for developing heart disease. 

From the Heart Foundation

www.heartfoundation.com.au <http://www.heartfoundation.com.au/>  

________________________________________________________

It is hard to understand decisions that are supposed to be made in the
BEST interest of the Child when:

Child Porn Addict Partner wins custody

Read more:

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,21161606-2702,00.html
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Letters

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

I would just like to say thanks for telling me about the movie "Pursuit
of Happiness".

I went to see it and was moved by it. I would definitely recommend if
you're a dad to see it. I really empathised with the character of Will
Smith. This has to be one of the best movies I have ever seen.

Once again thanks for making me aware of it. Keep up the good work guys.

Regards Alexei

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

My husband has been in receipt of your regular newsletter (I've also
enjoyed reading it).

I am in the process of organising some fatherhood related events for the
Shoalhaven area. At this point in time I do not have a precise idea on
what we will be doing and was wondering if there would be someone in
your organisation who could comment on what kind of events have been
found to be useful for fathers or whether there is a way you could be
involved.

I'd look forward to any comments you may have.

Kind regards

Jacqui Leonard

[email-masked] 

Programs Manager

Shoalhaven Community Support & Outreach

ANGLICARE Diocese of Sydney 

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Dad's Prayer

 
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pg> 

Dear God

How I hate those blind spots!

Most of the time I don't even know I've got them.

That's why it's so scary when something pops up

and I didn't see it coming.

Of course the really bad

Blind Spots are our own character defects,

that always seem to want to come back

and bite us every time. 

Once bitten, twice shy.

Could you help me get rid of them?

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us
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Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. 
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source
of harm. 

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in
fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible,
involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their
children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation
Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund 
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax
deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558 

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the
Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the
Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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