Subject: Girls Passage Fathers Duty
From: <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 14 Apr 2007 12:17:54 +1000

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Issue 242 - 9th April, 2007 	Go to our website Here
<http://www.fathersonline.org/> 	 
 
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*	Hello Friend
*	Grandads
*	Laughter
*	Single Dads 
*	Special Feature
*	Thought of the Week
*	All You Need is Love
*	News & Info
*	Dad's Prayer
*	Help Us

Hello Friend

 
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g> 

My good friend Brian Molitor, head of the Malachi Global Foundation
www.malachiglobal.org <http://www.malachiglobal.org/>   asked me to
write a recommendation for his new book, 'Girl's Passage - Father's
Duty', which is co written with his wife, Kathy. Brian is not the sort
of guy you can argue with. He is 6'4", built like a Sherman tank and in
his younger days as a professional footballer, he would have been a
formidable opponent. I would have definitely come off second best in an
argument.

Many of you met Brian Molitor last year when he toured Australia on the
Turning Hearts Tour. He was very well received because of his
self-depreciating humour and love of hunting and fishing. Another reason
I wasn't going to argue with him.

Jokes aside, Brian and Kathy's new book is brilliant and complements his
first book, 'Boy's Passage Man's Journey', the title which Brian used
for his seminars in Australia. My review is below.

'Girl's Passage - Father's Duty' is a groundbreaking book that will set
the record straight about the critical need for a father in a young
girl's life. In 2002 when we started the Fatherhood Foundation I thought
that fathers were more important for boys. After much study and research
over the last five years, I have realized that my ideas were wrong. The
input that a father has on his daughter's life is absolutely critical
for her psychosexual development and her success as a woman later in
life.

Every young women, who is coming of age, longs to hear these words from
her fathers lips, "Honey, you are beautiful, you are precious and I love
you just the way you are!" Nothing can be a substitute for a warm,
loving, father/daughter relationship.

Brian and Kathy Molitor give the keys that all parents need in order to
build such a relationship - a warm, loving relationship that every
daughter deserves and needs.  Their book is both spiritual and practical
as they share their personal journey and real-life insights along with
powerful principles that have stood the test of time.

'Girl's Passage - Father's Duty' should be required reading for every
mum and dad on the planet.

When I read Brian's first book about rites of passage and life-long
mentoring for boys, all my sons had come of age but my wife and I were
challenged to put his words into practice and design a rites of passage
/ coming of age celebration for our youngest daughter. It is now several
months since we held this ceremony and I believe it has been a milestone
for our daughter in her journey into womanhood. In Special Feature you
will find the full story written by my wife, to give you insight and
inspiration. I believe that having such a celebration / ceremony has
given my daughter the courage to embrace the responsibility and joys of
being a young woman. The rites of passage celebration has made a
difference in her life and perhaps it is best articulated by this
beautiful hand made Christmas card I received last year with these
touching and moving words.

Dearest Dad

Thanks for everything, you are a great
<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/Messy-Desk.gif>
Dad and I love you. Your name means 'elaborate', which is true for you.
You are elaborate in many things, the mess on your desk for one, your
thinking, your actions. You think outside the box and that's what I like
about you. You try in everything you do, and most of the time you
succeed. You are the greatest Dad in the world and I know this because,
I don't want to have any other. I love you Dad. Have a Merry Christmas.

Your daughter 

Melodie Marsh

Every young daughter need to hear those words, 'Honey you are beautiful,
you are precious and I love you just the way you are.' Conversantly
every father needs to know that he is the greatest Dad in the world,
even if he does have a messy desk.

Lovework

Consider planning a rite of passage / celebration for your children.
'Boy's Passage Man's Journey' 2004 Emerald Books by Brian Molitor is a
great book to read on the subject
http://orders.koorong.com/search/details.jhtml?code=193209606X
<http://orders.koorong.com/search/details.jhtml?code=193209606X>  
Whatever you do, make sure you speak the words your children need to
hear from you, 'You are special and I love you!'

Yours for rites of passage

Warwick Marsh

PS Brian Molitor will be coming to Australia in June and speaking in
Kalgoorlie WA, Sunshine Coast, Brisbane and Sydney. His new book 'Girl's
Passage Father's Duty' should be available in June/July 07. We will
notify you of details of the venues where he will be speaking over the
next few weeks.

 ___________________________________________________________ 

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father
of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years
to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public
speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

Dads and Daughters
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hters_1.jpg> 

By Neil Ryan

I'm a father of three and grandfather to 9 and still learning more about
fatherhood; often from mistakes I've made. 

Recently my daughter (herself now a mother of four) reminded me of
aspects of fatherhood where (she reckons) I had failed to measure up to
expectations. I cannot now make up for past mistakes but at least, for
other dads out there, you can learn from my omissions.

Maybe you are about to enter upon the unenviable task of guiding a young
teenage daughter toward secure and mature womanhood.

At least I expect this is your ambition.

I was one who, until my daughter explained otherwise, believed it was
mum's role to nurture a daughter through her teenage traumas. I was one
who held the view that when girls became teenagers and grew into
womanhood, this was the time to back off - NOT SO!

As my daughter explained to me, this is the time when 'dad' can play a
valuable role in establishing his daughter's feminine security,
confidence and self esteem. This is the time to devote special time for
her alone; to listen to what she has to say; to appreciate her efforts
without too much criticism or off handed sarcasm. Compliment her on the
clothes she wears, but remind her how other 'men' view immodest attire.

I am convinced that 'dad' must learn to overcome any sense of
embarrassment and be able to hug his daughter with fatherly affection. 

Take her out on 'daddy dates'. Never ever let any momentary
uncomfortable feelings dictate otherwise. 

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hters.jpg>  

During teenage years your daughter needs to find (perhaps more than ever
before) in a man, the kind of security only a dad can give. Remember you
ARE the first man in her life.

If you, 'dad', cannot find the time to give her this kind of attention,
she may seek it elsewhere and find the experience hard to handle;
especially when the other 'fella' receives the wrong signals and from
your daughter. Then, 'dad', you may find you have a much more complex
emotional problem on your hands that even mum can't handle.

The strength and confidence you can build into your daughter with
encouragement and affection, both verbally and with healthy hugs, will
create in her an emotional 'wall of protection' for her emerging
sexuality. 

However, NEVER substitute affection toward your daughter for the love
and cherishing expressed to your wife-her mum. Chat over some of these
thoughts with your wife and see if she would have loved her dad to have
treated her this way.

I might have failed to measure up to these ideals but I now trust that
there are dads out there who might learn from my ineptness.

Neil Ryan

[email-masked]   

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Laughter

 

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THIS IS WHY PANADOL was invented..... 

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in
sick one day.  

Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the
employees home phone number and was greeted with a child's' whisper. 
"Hello" 
"Is your daddy home ?" he asked
"Yes" whispered the small voice
"May I talk with him?" 
"No" 

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 
"Is your Mummy there?" 
"Yes"
"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No" 

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes, whispered the boy, "a policeman"
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss
asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" 
"No, he's busy", whispered the child
"Busy doing what?"
Talking to daddy and mommy and the fireman", came the answer. 

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter, through
the Earpiece on the phone, the boss asked , "What's that noise?"
"A helicopter" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
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ght.gif> 

Again whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the
helicopter."   
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are
they searching for?!!." 
 
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ace%200001.jpg> 
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled
giggle............ 
"ME."

 

 

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Single Dads 

 
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Tony Miller announced last week that 'dads in distress' (dids) will be
forced to close its doors on 30th June 2007 unless they are able to
receive further government funding. Such recurrent funding has been
refused so far because dids important work does not fit into any
government funding box at the present moment. This is hardly surprising
considering the Howard government and previous Labor governments
consistent ability to ignore the needs of the male of the species while
pouring hundreds of millions of dollars and more likely billions of
dollars into projects and benefits that only women can receive benefit
from. It is good that the government helps women but why cannot they
also help men? The ratio of government funding that is directed at women
or mothers compared with men or fathers is somewhere between 300 to 1 or
at best 100 to 1. Alan Barron from the Memucan Institute of Men's
Studies in Melbourne has produced some very interesting research papers
on this important subject www.memucan.net  

It would be a national tragedy if dads in distress were to cease
operation. Tony Miller's group has dozens of self-help cells scattered
all over the country. Dids runs a very low overhead operation and
achieves far more than most. It is ironic that Mensline are funded over
2 million dollars per year and that they refer hundreds, possibly
thousands of calls to dads in distress or Lone Fathers Association and
neither operation is properly funded by the Howard government. 

If broken promises by governments were a tradeable commodity, Barry
Williams of Lone Fathers would be a millionaire. Currently the present
government has given him an office, but he has no money to pay staff to
keep it going. The Fatherhood Foundation knows all about what it is to
be ignored by the government as we do not fit into any of their many
funding boxes. Three years ago the Fatherhood Foundation personally
presented a comprehensive funding proposal to the government 'to
encourage, support and promote fatherhood and families'. The proposal
was 100 mm thick and very well detailed and documented. We personally
met with 3 government ministers and several other parliamentary leaders.
We have yet to receive even an official acknowledgement of our proposal
let alone consideration of the same. The rhetoric of the current
government is for families and fatherhood, but the practical support for
the same is utterly pathetic to say the least.

The Howard government had a golden opportunity to introduce equity and
justice into family law in March 2006 with a presumption of shared
parenting in family law. Point 6 of The 12pt Plan states that the
government must: 

Acknowledge that after divorce or parental separation, every child has a
fundamental right to equal contact with both the mother and the father,
unless there are proven mitigating circumstances. 

The government has chosen to ignore our children's cries for equal
access to both mother and father. Instead they have introduced a
presumption of shared parental responsibility which means absolutely
nothing in real terms in a court of law. In a recent judgement a father
asked for equal shared parenting and received only 3 hours extra per
week. Shared parental responsibility can mean whatever a judge wants it
to mean. The Howard government could have fixed the problem but they did
not and so Tony Millers, dids and the Lone Father's workload continues
unabated. The government has a responsibility to fund the fallout of
their failed family law reform legislation. The government also has a
responsibility to help those organisations on the cutting edge of
suicide prevention in our nation.

In 2003, the Fatherhood Foundation along with many other fatherhood /
family and men's groups could see the inequity in the ratio of
government funding for the male of the species and the fact that there
is no official government body to represent the needs of fathers and
men. In Canberra fathers and men are without a voice and appear to be
almost invisible to government bureaucrats. On 26th June 2003 the
Fatherhood Foundation released its 12 Pt Plan with bi-partisan support
in Federal Parliament, Canberra. The first 3 points of The 12pt Plan
address these crucial areas of government neglect.

1. That all levels of government acknowledge the importance of
fatherhood by establishing an official body to support and strengthen
Australian fathers, such as an Office for the Status of Fatherhood or a
Ministry of Fatherhood.

2. Increase funding for father-based family initiatives. The focus of
government funding needs to be on prevention rather than cure in order
to achieve long-term cost effective benefits.

3. Address the gross inequity in funding for men's issues compared to
that currently available for women's issues.

Sadly this could have been written yesterday, because little has changed
in the last four years.
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So here we have another disaster as the closure of the single most
effective single father's suicide prevention organisation in the nation
approaches. We as men must do something about it. We as a gender must
support each other. We are all our brother's keeper. If dads in distress
was mothers in distress they would be getting $250 million per year. All
that is needed is a quarter of a million dollars per year to keep the
doors open. This is small change for the government. I encourage all of
our fathersonline readers to write to their local Federal Member of
Parliament, of whatever party they are, and ask them for commonsense to
prevail - or is that asking too much?

Yours for our children

Warwick Marsh

Fatherhood Foundation

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Special Feature

 

 

 
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My Daughter's Rites of Passage

By Alison Marsh

Although I was keen to have a rites of passage for our only daughter, I
was unsure how to go about it.  I had missed Brian Molitor's lectures on
rites of passage and have only read excerpts of his book, Boy's Passage
- Man's Journey. There were several key factors that I felt necessary
for such a celebration.

Firstly: my daughter is a party girl, I am not. I wanted to make this an
intimate, low-key affair, therefore I didn't tell her too much about
what I was planning, just asked her who she knew that had inputted into
her life.

Secondly: wanting it to be a special time I thought carefully about who
had been important in her life. I also felt that it was important to
keep it close to her birthday celebrations so we would not lose impetus.
Over the past year my daughter has positively blossomed into womanhood.
It was time to celebrate this and wish her well on her continued journey
of life.

Warwick and I decided to make Melodie's 'Celebration of Womanhood' three
days after her 14th birthday, on our usual family dinner night.
Fortunately all the women that I invited were able to come.  I invited
Cassie, an 18 year old friend of hers that has really encouraged her a
lot over the past two years; Jodi, my daughter-in-law, Melodie's first
big sister; Jo, a close friend that had been on a 9 week tour with us
when Melodie was only a toddler; my mother (Melodie's grandmother); and
Mary, a friend who I felt would be able to share some valuable wisdom
(and who had just happened to hear Brian Molitor speak on rites of
passage).

Our Celebration of Womanhood was very simple. The menfolk all went off
somewhere else for dinner. As our 5 guests arrived they gave Melodie
cards and letters which we put aside for later. We enjoyed a beautiful
and relaxing meal together.  On conclusion of the meal I asked our
guests if they would mind reading some or all of what they had written
to my daughter. She was quite touched by their comments and gave each
one a hug when they had finished.   Many of us had gifts to also give
her.  Mine was a medium sized scrapbook to record the night. To conclude
the night, Dad and Grandfather came home and said a prayer of blessing
over our beautiful daughter.

My evaluation of Melodie's Celebration of Womanhood left me with a few
thoughts: there were a few other women that I probably should have
invited so I must tell them about the whole experience. It was a
thoroughly lovely evening and I'm sure my daughter enjoyed it so I will
ask her if she would have done anything differently.  I think if she had
been keener to do it, it would have been more of a production and she
therefore would have been more involved, which is fine. The magnitude of
the event will vary from family to family but I believe the magnitude on
the life of the individual will be impacting for life. I am thankful
that we went ahead and grateful to Warwick that he encouraged it to
happen.

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Thought of the Week

 
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jpg> 

When fathers catch the vision

(the importance of being a great dad),

we can turn entire nations around within one generation.

Brian Molitor

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All You Need is Love

  

<http://www.bosweb.com.au/content/EB3TemplateImages/771/old%20couple%20d
ancing.jpg> Couple Celebrate 80th Wedding Anniversary

March 30, 2007

LUBEC, Maine (March 29) - Kathleen Tarbell "fell head over my stomach"
for her husband Waldo when they met at a dance. They married in 1927,
during Calvin Coolidge's presidency and are celebrating their 80th
wedding anniversary this weekend.

Waldo is 101 and Kathleen will turn 100 in June. The anniversary party
will be Saturday afternoon at Oceanview Nursing Home, where the couple
shares a large room.

Maine's Office of Vital Records could not immediately determine if the

Tarbells' marriage is the longest in the state. The 2007 Guinness Book
of World Records lists a Rhode Island couple wed for 83 years as having
the longest marriage among living people.

Kathleen, a native of Pembroke, moved to Waldo's hometown of Meddybemps
after they married. Two years later, they moved to Pembroke, where their
two children, Helen Brown and Elliot Tarbell, were born.

Waldo and Kathleen lived in their home in Pembroke until a few weeks
ago.

"I had to go to the hospital to have some X-rays taken. My back was
killing me," Kathleen told the Bangor Daily News. After she was
hospitalized, Waldo was moved to the nursing home and she later joined
him.

For 37 years, Waldo worked for Maine Central Railroad, at a starting
wage of 37 cents an hour. After their children were raised, Kathleen
worked for 32 years as a "herring choker and wrapper" at sardine
factories.

"Sometimes it'd be 10 o'clock at night before we'd get done. We'd go
into work at eight in the morning. By the time we got home and got
turned over in bed it was time to get up again," she recalled.

Kathleen has been a Democrat  her entire adult life. Waldo, originally a
Republican , turned Democrat. "She converted me," he said.

They remain up to speed on current events. Kathleen reads the newspaper
every day, and she thinks the war in Iraq  is "scandalous."

"Somebody ought to take Bush and wring his neck, and I might be the one
to do it," she said with a sparkle in her eye.

Copyright 2007 The Associated Press.

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News & Info

 

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Happy Easter

Read the  Fathers Love Letter this Easter

http://fathersloveletter.com/aboutfll.html
<http://fathersloveletter.com/aboutfll.html> 

 

 

 

USA Men's / Fatherhood  Speaker Coming to Australia   April 2007

Robert Lewis is the creator and presenter of Men's Fraternity, a three
year men's training resource, guiding men on the journey to noble
authentic manhood. Robert Lewis is fast becoming one of the most
recognized voices in America on men's issues and is an amazing
communicator and teacher in the advancement and promotion of men
discovering their manhood.

Robert Lewis is coming to Australia in April 2007 to provide training,
inspiration and resources for pastors, leaders and anyone passionate
about this vital cause. 

I have three website links for you to go to for more information:

http://www.crsonline.com.au/crs_s_GroupInformation.asp?sgID=17
<http://www.crsonline.com.au/crs_s_GroupInformation.asp?sgID=17>   

- for registration, venue and seminar/training information.

http://www.crsforums.info/mensfraternity/
<http://www.crsforums.info/mensfraternity/>      

- for information on Robert Lewis, Men's Fraternity and all the
available resources.

http://www.crsonline.com.au/crs_r_cat_Search.asp?catID=21
<http://www.crsonline.com.au/crs_r_cat_Search.asp?catID=21>   

all the various Men's Fraternity and Robert Lewis resources that are
available.

If you believe in this cause that Robert is coming to speak to
Australian and New Zealand about, please spread the word and pass his
information around to your interested contacts. I believe there is a
strong movement in our countries at this time towards empowering men and
raising the bar of manhood in our communities, families and Churches.
Please join us in promoting this exciting training opportunity. 

Please feel free to contact me. I look forward in assisting you in
anyway possible.

Let me know what you need as we are only 2 weeks away from Robert
coming. Thank you!

Tim  Smith

Ph: 03 5241 3288 

Fax: 03 5241 3290  

Mob: 0438 551 616

Email: [email-masked] <mailto:[email-masked]>    

Web: www.crsonline.com.au <http://www.crsonline.com.au/>  

__________________________________________________________

Family Credit Card pays mortgage

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21518152-2,00.html

__________________________________________________________

Burnside Training Course

Workshop 1 - 'Working with Men'

The 'Working with Men' Workshop allows workers, organisations or
networks of services to more effective programs to men and families.

Workshop 2 - 'Working with Men and Family Violence Issues'

The 'Working with Men and Family Violence Issues' Workshop explores the
difficulties, paradoxes and rewards of working to stop family violence
with both men and women. 

Workshop 1

'Working with Men'    Thursday 24th May 2007 from 9.30am to 4.30pm
(Lunch provided)      Northcott Building

1 Fennell St 

North Parramatta 

Workshop 2

'Working with Men and  Family Violence'     Friday 25th May 2007 from
9.30am to 4.30pm (Lunch provided)          Northcott Building

1 Fennell St

North Parramatta

All costs include GST.                       

Participants are encouraged to attend both days.

Workshop 1 = $145.00            Workshop 2 = $145.00
Workshop 1 & 2 = $250.00

To register:    

To obtain an application form for this training, call Training Program
at Burnside on 02 9843 6200 or email [email-masked]
<mailto:[email-masked]>   or visit the web site on
www.burnside.org.au <http://www.burnside.org.au/>   and follow the
prompts to Resources and Training.

Letters

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

How come there's a huge effort to help our graziers and stop them
topping themselves because of the drought, but bugger all for the
ordinary bloke in town who suicides because his family and business etc
collapsed .

Maybe the bloke with the fruit shop that went broke and his missus left
......

Or the bloke at  the garage , or the plumber.......

Just maybe they're not a national tear jerker..?

Don't tell me we still think that in some way they're a failure so we
can't help...?

Is that why the Government just spent heaps on trialling grief and
bereavement programs for POST suicide trauma???

My heart tears apart for the man on the land and his family, but I've
got a panel beater and a computer wiz and an accountant ,who were
isolated by pain and grief and the sense of failure...who nearly died
and left their kids fatherless. Somewhat to ponder?

Nigel

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Dad's Prayer

 

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pg> 

Dear God

John Mayer sings his song,

'Fathers be good to your daughters'.

Did you help him write it?

It seems a good idea anyway.

Let's face it,

If we can't be good to them, who can?

If we aren't good to our daughters,

How will they recognise what goodness is?

Please help me be good to my daughter.

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us
<http://www.ausheart.com.au/fathers/about/index.html>  

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. 
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source
of harm. 

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in
fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible,
involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their
children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation
Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund 
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax
deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558 

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the
Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the
Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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