Integrity - A target for deception
by Ron Hellyer
Our greatest battle as fathers is not with other people but with ourselves. These inner struggles that pull us from one situation to another with a resultant ‘cause and effect’.
If I’m angry at something or someone then my human reaction or considered response shall cause an effect that I may regret or be satisfied with. Men can succumb to the worst of temptations, often stupidly, but the ripple affect can cause a tidal wave of strife.
Remember a past U.S. president and the worldwide effect caused by his selfish indiscretions. Apart from the sensationalism, there appeared to be little coverage about the affect on his wife and family and more on him lying to the impeachment committee.
As fathers we can be tempted at every level of life be it the workplace, socially, financially, emotionally or relationally. Visual temptation on advertising billboards, internet spam and linked web sites, commercial on television and movies are an ever increasing mediums that we must be vigilant of, not only for the effect on us but the effect of exposure to our family.
A current Levi jeans billboard advertisement in Australia displaying lesbian women in a physical position can be very deceiving in suggesting this lifestyle to be the norm.
More than ever in today’s society fathers not only have to guard themselves , but also our families, particularly our sons – fathers and sons have the same urges.
There is no doubt that many of my characteristics in dealing with issues “ rub off” on my children. I often see behaviour in my boys particularly that I recognise as being mimicked from me. This is sometimes behaviour that I don’t want to see in them.
The deceptions we face as fathers are hard to see - they come out of the blue – but there is one underlying characteristic:
‘You get something – but at a price’
‘The reward never equals the price.’
If we modify our tax return deliberately it will come back on us later; if we try to cover up a situation by lying it will come out down the road; if we indulge in sexual pleasure outside our marriage it will be exposed in the future.
As fathers we have to lead our families in the home , and ourselves in society.
Integrity is the foundation against deception. To understand that we are deceived by these temptations and recognise the point where we make a decision – a decision to leave it alone and build our integrity or take the temptation and wade into dangerous waters which will usually get quite hot.
I really desire that my kids and future grandkids will say at my funeral – ‘Dad was a man of integrity’. This is a continual battle for fathers , but it is a vital component to happy healthy families and the development of fathers of integrity.
The following quotes are particularly inspirational and challenging:
“It takes time to be a good father. It takes effort – trying, failing, and trying again.” Tim Hansell
“If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything”
Mark Twain
“If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of itself.”
Dwight L. Moody
“Every dad is the family role model whether he wants it or not”
Dennis Rainey
“The best way to teach character is to have it around the house”
Anonymous
“My father is the standard by which all subsequent men in my life have been judged’
Kathryn McCarthy Graham
“Gentlemen try not to become men of success . Rather become men of value.
Albert Einstein.
